Yes emotions are information but what are you going to do with that information?

It's not only important to recognize what your emotions are telling you but to take a moment to reflect on why you are having those feelings and what you want to do about that.

When you don't reflect on your emotions and try to understand why you are having them they can linger and cause physical and mental harm.

It can lead to fatigue, bitterness, anxiety, sleeplessness, distraction, confusion and problems with your appetite.

Taking a moment to reflect when you are experiencing strong emotions can be key to understanding where those emotions are coming from and how you want to handle them.

[email protected]

We are reposting our interview with Sandra Sunshine Horne since Kevin was able to catch up with her in Las Vegas when he was visiting his family there. We are going to do a follow up interview with her next to find out how God has been leading her in her ministries.

We talk alot about going to therapy in our podcast.

For a good reason because we believe for survivors of abuse that therapy is very important.

Even so it is something that you need to be prepared to do-especially if you are in a relationship.

As Kevin has found previously when he went to therapy it can be hard on a relationship when you go into therapy.

The point of therapy is to change yourself.

Change your awareness of yourself, change your feeling about yourself, change how you handle your issues.

These changes can cause difficulties in your relationships especially if you aren't prepared for them.

So to continue in our topic about going to therapy we talk about what it can be like to go into therapy for survivors when they are in a relationship.

https://cecilmurphey.com/survivor/

To get the most out of therapy it is important to avoid the ways that we self sabatoge.

Just like our episode about what to expect when you start therapy (134|What About Therapy), it can be helpful to be aware of the ways that we self sabatoge our therapy so that we can avoid those behaviors and learn how to really use our therapy to grow healthy.

The great thing about it is that these behaviors are easy to avoid when we pay attention to what we want from therapy and if we are accomplishing the goals that we have.

This is an important topic for anyone who is going to therapy whether they are a survivor of abuse or not.

Too many survivors of abuse don't seek help because they feel what happened to them wasn't that bad compared to what someone else had happen to them.

They are comparing their abuse to what happened to someone else and dismissing it.

Also they might be too embarassed or ashamed to admit what happened.

Instead they just tough it out, putting up walls and masks to hide their pain and suffering.

Too many survivors of abuse wait until a crisis breaks them down to finally seek help for what happened to them.

Or they never seek help because they are afraid of appearing weak by admitting that they need it.

If this is you don't wait until your life comes crashing down to seek help. The sooner that you start to tear down your walls and masks you can start healing from your trauma.

Chris Carazas has written a beautiful memoir of his experiences, of trauma, abuse and his late-in-life diagnosis of autism.

This is an amazing feat considering the experiences that he has survived and overcome,and the way he writes about them.

This memoir started as a letter to the person who was there for him when he needed it the most and it became a tribute to his journey of surviving being pushed to the edge and making it back.

This is a message of staying alive.

Please be informed that in this episode we discuss the topic of suicide which can be triggering, if you or someone you know are experiencing thoughts of suicide please contact the suicide hotline #988 by phone or text for help.

https://chriscarazas.com/

[email protected]

What are the habits we have that are self-destructive?

How do we recognize them and why are they so hard to change?

We formed these habits for a reason so in order to change them we have to recognize them and recognize where they came from.

Then we can understand how to find ways to turn away from the destructive behavior and turn to constructive ways of dealing with our issues.

Laurie talks about hearing the news about a relative who has passed.

Even though this news comes after 30 years with no contact will it change anything?

Open new doors?

Many of you fellow survivors have probably had to deal with people who have made a conscious choice to "not believe" you.

No Longer Ashamed FB

[email protected]

What do you do when the chatter threatens to overwhelm everything else in your mind?

Especially for survivors of abuse the chatter in our heads can take us over and seem inescapable.

For Kevin he has found that using the music that he loves can be a way to distance from the chatter and have a reset.

It also is a way that he finds connection to the times and people from his past that is comforting.

This is a simple way that he uses to help him when the chatter is taking over but it's not the only way that there is.

One of the things that we have discovered is that the times that we experience awe and wonder, the other things that are so distracting to us seem less important.

For survivors of abuse trust can be so hard.

Our trust has been broken by what has happened to us.

But trust is so important all of our connections, it is the foundation of having healthy relationships.

This can be one of the main reasons that survivors of abuse have such a hard time in relationships.

We are all meant to be in relationships with others but if we can't trust anyone else because of what happened to us how can we find it in ourselves to become vulnerable enough to trust?