No Rangers Allowed

An evening bookended by birds. Three separate huge frickin' birds. In the middle, the party melts plastic materials to find magic items, we find out that the late Haesto was a mangaka, and shrug gets horny for Christopher Meloni. I guess also the gang frees an elf goddess and finds out a huge amount of world-shattering information but that's not as important.

The party founds an impromptu clan and picks gamertags in order to play a game with a guy who is definitely not Jokkmokk. The Official Office Space Roleplaying System turns out to be a subtle commentary on eco-gnomics and the basic injustice of wage slavery which is also necromancy. Bernie's full name is Bearnaise Anders. Then there are some problems with a ladder.

Anti-illusion haircuts are tough on an edge, so a quest for a whetstone leads our heroes into the kitchen of the skinking club, where BJ finally defeats his hangover with the aid of a magical spring. A harrowing encounter with a staircase leads to a not so harrowing encounter with a giant and not terribly verbal moth. Finally, catching up with an old friend leaves Ven with hair that's the envy of the 'hood. Also, a Wilhelm scream competition and Sex-type Pokemon are weak to Bug.

An old friend delivers a passive-aggressive judgment upon the party's less than perfect ally retention rate. Honeydew handles his snake so expertly it'd make Moses blush. The gang goes down a reliquary K-hole and ends up teaching a hungry beast the meaning of explicit consent, but not before learning how to skink in the traditional halfling fashion. Bernie's real cagey about her past, for some reason, the little imp.

The party considers some bizarre physiologies, starting with a 90's starlet alzabo-Frankenstein and ending with Halfling cloacas. Eventually they stop goofing around and enter the mind palace, which turns out to be completely built out of elves. Allegedly this isn't a sex thing. BJ and Honeydew get completely blasted, thus transmorphing a literal sleeping giant first into Guy Fieri and then into Tex Wasabi.

We begin with some truly pointless nonsense, which can only be summarized as poop crimes. After the creation and discussion of some magical artifacts in preparation, the party finally begins its trek to the long-foreshadowed Tower. But the forest contains unforseen memory mysteries, and we discover that only with the help of the manticores (and the ladycores) may our heroes continue their quest. Also I'm supposed to put some sex stuff in here, since we figured out that's what gets you sickos to download episodes. Sex!

Old friends are reunited. The beginnings of a revolution have begun to coalesce in Fort Chetverg. But it is not without its costs, including a Korpseo and BJ face-tanking traps. Can a motet for three voices tip the balance? Also, fictional AND real life war crimes!

The party takes a well-deserved rest, but Bernie pisses the night away. In the morning, chores need doing: uncursing elves, talking to frustrated professor spirits, swimming in trash, you know the deal. Our heroes' travails leave them with due reward: an orb full of dragon cum?? (NO, it is NOT)

In this NoRA gaiden, the DM shoe is on the other foot as shrug runs tulpa and guest star Clint through a "one"(three)-shot of Wield, a game by John Wick (the legendary game designer, not the Keanu redeemed killer) about the sorcerous will that powers legendary magical artifacts. Graciously edited by the talented Clint, whose Snexploration podcast you should check out if you like funny people and old videogames and, improbably, shrug.

The party faces the Thanksgiving racist uncle conundrum: what to do when the doddering and talented old castle gardener is also 100% in the tank for pro-necromancer conspiracy theories? BJ deals with it the way we all wish we could, but before the party can take the post-turkey snooze they desperately need, they are set upon by the salad. Also: extended discussion of them feet.