Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

Mary and Dr. Stacey Pearson-Wharton trace how “being the dot” reveals both hypervisibility and invisibility, why representation changes help-seeking, and how to apologize without defensiveness. We share tools to move from fear to action, build belonging on campus and beyond, and use privilege to amplify others.

• reclaiming the violet metaphor and naming white privilege
• defining being the dot and its stress impact
• microaggressions, implicit bias, and real repair
• belonging as design, not accident, in higher ed
• representation increasing access to care
• speaking up, refusing to shrink, and policy change
• ally moves that amplify and protect
• guidance for young women of color on mentoring and history
• books and local actions that build proximity and courage
• offerings from Dr. Stacy for healing and learning

Please drop me a text with your thoughts at the link at the top of the show notes

You can find Dr. Stacey at https://www.drstaceyinspires.org/

Use code NSV to get 10% of Being the Dot Affirmation Cards

Books mentioned in this episode:

How to Be an Anti-Racist - Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility - Dr. Robin DiAngelo

Black AF History - Michael Harriot

My Grandmother's Hands - Resmaa Menakem

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

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Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

We explore the fine line between restorative rest and reactive avoidance, using body cues, purpose, and outcomes to tell them apart. We share simple practices to renew energy, regain perspective, and rebuild self-trust without shrinking your world.

• purpose of rest as energy renewal
• avoidance as delay that grows fear
• refreshed versus relieved as a key cue
• intentional, time-bound pauses with endpoints
• rest creating clarity and internal spaciousness
• avoidance narrowing options and repeating loops
• self-trust through chosen breaks and re-entry
• practical tests: five to ten minute resets and body scans
• examples from work, roles, and relationships

If you would like to support Rigby's pursuit of daily treats, click the support the show link in the show notes and toss a little donation Rigby's way

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

A single sentence can change everything. When Kristen Crabtree heard, “You don’t need her permission to move out,” it shattered years of camouflaging and control, and set her on a path from invisibility to self-recovery. We dive into the quiet mechanics of psychological abuse—rules about when you can speak, isolation that shrinks your world, financial constraints that keep you stuck—and the small, doable actions that start a return to yourself.

Kristen, an author and certified divorce coach, brings hard-won insight from her own journey out of a psychologically abusive marriage, including navigating a partner’s undiagnosed NPD traits and the aftermath of trauma therapy. We talk about why self-recovery isn’t self-help: you’re not broken, you’re buried. Using her archaeology-inspired framework, she shows how to excavate the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual “artifacts” that reveal who you are beneath years of adaptive masking. From the “Who am I?” practice to third‑person narration while washing dishes, you’ll get practical tools to quiet monkey mind, build awareness, and make aligned choices.

We also explore the chameleon effect—how women learn to blend in for safety—and what it looks like to choose your own colors again, right down to the art on your walls and the clothes on your body. Taste is not trivial; it’s a signal. Kristen’s Tree of Becoming invites growth that’s seasonal and humane: pruning branches that no longer fit, welcoming new buds, and letting identity evolve without apology. If you’ve ever felt trapped between staying and leaving, or unsure where to start, this conversation offers a grounded first step, a language for what you’re feeling, and a reminder that safety built on self-alignment is stronger than safety built on approval.

Loved the conversation? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the smallest shift you’ll make today. Your story might spark someone else’s turning point.

You can find Kristen (and the chameleon) here: https://www.paramourparadox.com/

You can also find her here: https://you2point0.com/

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

We trace how confirmation bias primes our expectations and how self-fulfilling prophecies turn false beliefs into real outcomes. Mary shares a personal story about self-reliance, asking for help, and learning to invite support without losing strength.

• recap of confirmation bias and everyday examples 
• definition of self-fulfilling prophecy and how beliefs drive behavior 
• rejection sensitivity and the signals that push people away 
• Mary’s childhood story and the origin of “I’ve got it” energy 
• divorce, unmet support, and the cost of not asking 
• reframing help as strength and updating social cues 
• practical reflection prompts to break the cycle 
• small experiments to test new beliefs and behaviors

If you enjoyed this episode, consider supporting me. Use the link in the show notes -- It would be so appreciated :)

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

What if the story shaping your choices isn’t the truth, just the loudest memory? We sit down with clinical hypnotherapist Michelle Walters to unpack what hypnosis actually is—a measurable brain state where suggestibility increases, attention narrows, and imagination opens—and how that mix can help rewrite unhelpful beliefs, calm persistent anxiety, and dismantle sticky habits.

Michelle traces her path from digital marketing to clinical practice after profound personal loss, and then takes us inside the work. She explains why memory behaves more like a draft than a photograph, how careful regression and ethical guardrails protect clients, and what it looks like to personalize sessions around real strengths, values, and faith. We hear vivid case stories: a lifelong terror of bumblebees linked to a childhood moment of fear, an outgoing professional whose sudden anxiety eased with tailored imagery, and clients who replace hair pulling or sugar binges by rehearsing new sensory rituals until they feel natural.

We also explore the practical side of change. Hypnosis isn’t mind control; it’s a reliable way to quiet the analytical voice so the nervous system can try a better pattern. Repetition cements it. That’s where Michelle’s Make My Hypno app comes in—custom recordings built from your goals, environments, and affirmations, so the script sounds like your life. Whether you’re skeptical or curious, this conversation blends science, lived wisdom, and creative tools you can start using tonight.

You can find Michelle at https://michellewalters.net/

Access the discount for MakeMyHypno app here: https://makemyhypno.com/podcast_discount

If this resonates, follow the show or share it with a friend who needs a new story.

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

We explore how confirmation bias shapes what we notice, how we remember, and how we treat ourselves and others. A childhood label becomes a lens, social media amplifies certainty, and small reframes open space for calmer, truer choices.

• clear definition of confirmation bias and why it spreads online
• story of being labeled shy and how it shaped behavior
• the cost of self-monitoring in meetings and relationships
• misread signals in friendships, marriage and work
• difference between bias, real patterns and gaslighting
• how memory edits to fit old beliefs
• practical reframes and questions to test other explanations

If you enjoyed today's show or you listen often, consider supporting the show at the link below.

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

We reframe self-doubt, motherhood, and messy life moments as a training ground for leadership, confidence, and authentic growth. Simone shares the REAL method and a mindset reset that turns “I could never” into clear choices and courageous action.

• redefining “shrinking violet” as resilience and strength
• reframing caregiving and domestic labor as leadership skills
• Simone’s vulnerable turning points and Kilimanjaro mindset
• competing vs supporting women and the social media trap
• readiness myths, imposter syndrome, and action bias
• adoption, family culture, and transferable skills
• control alt delete mindset tool for resets
• the REAL method for building confidence

You can find Simone at https://simoneknego.com/

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

We separate embarrassment from shame and show how shame gets used to push people back into line. We share family and professional stories, then offer ways to notice the first sting of shame and keep advocating for what you need.

• difference between embarrassment and shame  
• how labels like always careless attach to identity  
• why self-advocacy triggers shaming responses  
• family example of weaponized shame  
• professional boundary met with shame  
• recognizing learned patterns, especially among women  
• practical ways to pause, inquire, and hold ground  
• reclaiming worth while taking up space

Thank you for listening. And until next time, go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

What if your body story isn’t about willpower, but about identity you’ve outgrown? We sit down with intuitive healer and coach Tara Wiscow, who lost 220 pounds and discovered the scale can’t measure self worth. Her three “flashbulb” moments—an early family secret, a heartbreaking park accident with her son, and a profound encounter with her higher self after her sister’s passing—reveal how abandonment, belonging, and grief shape the way we eat, the way we love, and the way we show up.

We get honest about weight as protection, people pleasing as survival, and why diets can work on your body while leaving your mind in chaos. Tara breaks down her concept of the “expired self,” those identities that once kept us safe but now keep us stuck. We talk thyroid cancer, hormones, and pregnancies to underscore that there’s never one reason for a number on the scale. Then we pivot to practical shifts: the “seven levels deep” exercise to uncover a genuine why, mindful eating practices that reconnect you to taste and satiety, and a simple baseline habit—hydration—to stabilize energy, mood, and appetite.

This conversation blends mindset, trauma-informed healing, and compassionate nutrition without shame or gimmicks. You’ll learn how to question cravings with “what’s the purpose?”, drop the good/bad food narrative, and replace self-punishment with clarity and care. Tara also shares her framework for un-becoming outdated identities so you can rebuild a life that fits: more confidence, fewer masks, and choices aligned with your values. If you’re ready to stop chasing approval and start coming home to yourself, this is your map.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs encouragement today, and leave a quick rating or review to help more listeners find us.

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

Some days the world feels impossibly heavy, and personal hurts pile on until sleep won’t come. We walk through a grounded path to emotional change that doesn’t deny pain: naming exactly what you feel, reaching for the next gentler emotion, and using micro-actions that shift your state in minutes. Drawing on therapy practice and the emotional guidance scale popularized by Abraham Hicks, we show how specificity lowers the body’s alarm and opens space for wiser choices.

We talk candidly about moments of unfair treatment and the familiar hesitation to speak up, then model a way forward that balances honesty and self-compassion. Instead of chasing a forced “positive mindset,” we use precise language to move from worry to doubt, from doubt to hope, and from hope to action. You’ll hear simple prompts that work under stress—How do I want to feel right now? Is any part of me actually okay?—and learn how to replace absolutes like “nothing is working” with “I haven’t found what works yet.” We also share tiny interventions that create real relief: stepping outside to find the sky, playing one song that lifts you, making a cashier’s day with genuine attention, or holding a realistic affirmation such as “This is hard, and I’m trying.”

Progress isn’t linear, and that’s part of the plan. When you hit a wall, rest is a strategy: nap, cry, take a bath, or write an unsent letter to release what’s stuck. From there, gratitude in small doses—clean sheets, a kind text, the warmth of tea—signals safety to your nervous system and helps you climb a few rungs up the emotional scale. These changes won’t erase injustice or grief, but they will give you more power to respond with clarity, courage, and care.

If this conversation helps, share it with a friend who needs a steady hand today, subscribe for more grounded tools, and leave a quick review so others can find these practices too.

Website Mary mentioned in this episode: https://www.discoveringpeace.com/emotional-guidance-scale-abraham-hicks/

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected].

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!