Why can't we be friends (with our exes)?

Well, it turns out you can...maybe. Through tales of exes past and mistakes made along the way, our episode today covers why whether you can be friends with your ex differs from whether you *should* be, the reasons that some people might have a higher success rate than others, and why blocking your ex may not be the right answer. 

We also discuss how to figure out your motivations for wanting your ex in your life, when maintaining contact becomes unhealthy, what to do if a new partner is uncomfortable with the friendship, and why, in the wise words of Justin Bieber, you should 'never say never'.

~~There are some audio issues in today's episode, which resolve by about the 10-min. mark. We've got a new setup for next week so hopefully this won't happen again. Thank you for your understanding!~~

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

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Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Has anyone else noticed that we have, perhaps, lost the plot entirely? 

The golden rules that we were taught in preschool (treat others the way you want to be treated, lead with kindness, be a good listener, etc. etc.) seem to have gone out the window as most of us have gotten older. 

Now, we're seeing people yell at others and expect to be listened to, use social media to write terrible comments under the guise of anonymity, and effectively throw tantrums when they don't get their way (when their way wasn't really an option to begin with). Something's got to give.

Today, we discuss the rise of rudeness and what the heck to do about it. We cover why we need consequences for our behavior, how psychology has disempowered parents, and the role COVID and social media play in human dynamics. We also talk about entitlement, the importance of value systems, and what to do when you're the target of downright meanness.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

You've probably heard the saying "The straw that broke the camel's back". 

We all have our 'last straws'; the things that send us into crash-outs for absolutely no reason at all. We bet you're thinking about yours now! We often never even think twice about them after they're over. Except...what if we told you that there actually *are* reasons they happen, and they can teach you something?

Today, using Joyce as a case study, we're discussing ours - from hangers getting stuck in closets to fitted sheets NEVER fitting to having your day ruined by a pair of ill-fitting denim - and why they push our buttons.

We chat about how to figure out the root cause of our rage-fests, why we get mad at the 'thing' and never at ourselves, how to learn to take a pause, and the role social conformity plays when we're on the verge of losing it.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Unfortunately for literally all of us, there is no manual to figuring out how you feel and being able to communicate it effectively; aside from a select few with the native ability, it's just a skill that takes a whole lot of practice. It's kind of like painting - there are most of us who need to paint by numbers, and a small group who just have a feeling and can create a masterpiece.

Well today, we're attempting to help you feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme (Cool Runnings, anyone?) and find your voice, get others to see your point of view, and have some respectful audacity.

Through flashbacks from Joyce's nemesis/hero from the hotel parking lot, and stories of family vacations where Beth channeled Katy Perry's 'Roar', we discuss why anyone can learn to be assertive, how to power through fears that get in your way, what helping others can do to help you, and why someone's character is not their destiny.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Laser treatment this, face lift that - can't anyone just get old anymore? 

Today we're talking all things anti-aging and why the movement to constantly look younger makes it seem like having wrinkles might be the worst thing to happen to a person. 

We start today's discussion with a brief review of The Princess Bride and the word 'crone', before diving into why aging is normal (and a privilege), how wisdom comes with growing older, why what you look like is only a *fraction* of who you are, and how the best way to combat the fear of aging is to truly understand the valuable qualities that you have.

We also chat about celebrity culture and the spectacle that comes with 'no makeup' red carpet looks, why plastic surgery marketing can make you second guess yourself (and your smile lines), and why it doesn't matter anyway because we can't stop the clock.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Loss: one of life's great equalizers. It's messy, uncomfortable, and often deeply upsetting, but we all experience it. In a way, it's sort of comforting, knowing that we are all in it together. And yet, that doesn't change the fact that we often feel completely confused and alone in its wake.

Today, join us as we talk through the grieving process and life after loss. We chat about the factors that impact how we process a loss, the importance of routines, and why closeness (in proximity or in connection) doesn't define your emotional response. 

We also discuss the stages of grief, how to find comfort while mourning, what grief can teach us, and why a little kindness can go a long way.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

If you've been on the internet ~as of late~, you may have seen the memes and videos suggesting that all men should be in therapy; that it's a bare minimum ask that will help them finally become self-aware, emotionally mature, good partners. It might seem easy to say, 'Well, duh!' and start calling therapists in your area to set up appointments for every man you know. But is the answer really that simple?

Perhaps...not. 

Join us this week as we discuss whether every man really *needs* therapy, why emotional awareness doesn't guarantee healthy behavior - and why therapy isn't always the answer, the problems with overusing the word 'trauma', and the dangers of sweeping generalizations. We also cover the downsides to therapy and why it shouldn't be a 'forever thing', going vs. getting something out of it, and how all parties play a role in creating a successful relationship.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Here's the thing: the last few days have been incredibly challenging for us. We've been really sad, and honestly just needed a laugh. So instead of the episode we had planned, we decided to listen to our own advice and do something that would get us out of our own heads and give us a giggle. 

After a recap of Joyce's recent vacation and a LOT of talk about birds (it's sweet and funny, we swear), we share the things that just absolutely do not make sense to us. Are they easily explained? Sometimes. Could we Google them? Probably. Would it even help? Absolutely not. 

The best case scenario is that you laugh with/at us, and save this for a day you need to get out of your own head, too; the worst is this episode is a complete fail and in that case, we'll be back next week!

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

So long, farewell, goodbyes are really hard. Even more so when you care about the thing (or person) you're leaving. So this week, we're talking about it.

Following a ~reveal~ (ew, gross) of why it's been an anxiety circus over here, we discuss how to know when it's time to start a new chapter, the ambivalence we can feel when we close the door on the old one, and questions to ask yourself to make sure it's not just a phase. 

We also dig into what happens when life ends up different than your expectations, why we don't all need to climb the corporate ladder, the impulse-decision trifecta (high stress, emo caves, and having no plan), and why Dory was kind of right - when things get hard, you just have to keep swimming. 

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast

Listen, we'll say this once, and then a hundred more times - you shouldn't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Self-care is as important as breathing air. So why don't we treat it like a priority?

This week, we're giving ourselves (and you) permission and a reminder to make it one. We chat about internal judgement systems, why we gaslight ourselves into believing we don't need rest, how to say 'no', and why setting boundaries is actually a form of self-care.

We also discuss mom guilt and the resiliency of kids, the impact of not putting yourself first, and why you really *do* need to put on your oxygen mask before helping someone else.

About Your Hosts:

Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.

Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.

Note:

Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.

Other Stuff:

Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast