Nobody Talks Shidduchim - The Jewish Dating Podcast

By Nobody Talks ShidduchimSociety & Culture Relationships

Nobody Talks Shidduchim - The Jewish Dating Podcast episodes

May 22, 2022 Ep 70: Toxic Relationships & Platonic Friends Part 2 with Holy Shid Ahuva Shandelman
Ep 70) Toxic friends & Platonic Relationships [Holy Shid] Part 2
You grew up with them, shared the most sentimental memories with them; but once you enter the shidduch core...everything changes. Toxic friends exists and they are holding you back from your shiduch excursions. Holy Shid joins us to discuss what to do.
1) Shid breaks down what a toxic relationship is.
2) What is a frum platonic relationship?
3) Are platonic relationships also toxic?
4) Your friends say that shidduch idea isnt for you
5) The saying is "you are what you consume"; if you hang around people who are bad for you, how do you let them go?
6) Where to find friends that bring out the best in you.
7) How to tell if this friendship is healthy/toxic for you?
8) How to identify whether or not you're a toxic influence on your friends?
9) Can a platonic relationship exist within frum culture?
10) Should you pursue a romantic relationship with a platonic friend even though you may not feel "in love"?
11) How much does jealousy/insecurity play a role in toxic relationships?
12) Other toxic traits; that may not be as visible at the surface.
13) Maybe we are looking too deeply into all of these therapeutic techniques?
14) Activities you can do together to assist in building stronger friendships.
50 min
May 15, 2022 Ep 69: Toxic Friends & Platonic Relationships Part 1 with Holy Shid Ahuva Shandelman
Episode 69: Toxic Friends & Platonic Relationships Part 1 with Holy Shid's Ahuva Shandelman.
You grew up with them, shared the most sentimental memories with them; but once you enter the shidduch core...everything changes. Toxic friends exists and they are holding you back from your shiduch excursions. Holy Shid joins us to discuss what to do.
1) Shid breaks down what a toxic relationship is.
2) What is a frum platonic relationship?
3) Are platonic relationships also toxic?
4) Your friends say that shidduch idea isnt for you
5) The saying is "you are what you consume"; if you hang around people who are bad for you, how do you let them go?
6) Where to find friends that bring out the best in you.
7) How to tell if this friendship is healthy/toxic for you?
8) How to identify whether or not you're a toxic influence on your friends?
9) Can a platonic relationship exist within frum culture?
10) Should you pursue a romantic relationship with a platonic friend even though you may not feel "in love"?
11) How much does jealousy/insecurity play a role in toxic relationships?
12) Other toxic traits; that may not be as visible at the surface.
13) Maybe we are looking too deeply into all of these therapeutic techniques?
14) Activities you can do together to assist in building stronger friendships.
59 min
May 01, 2022 Ep 68: The Family Has "Issues", What Do I Do?
Ep 68 - The family has “issues”, what do I do?
In this continuation of stigmatize dating we discuss more stigmatized issues that occur during your dating life cycle. Of course everyone hopes and believes and imagine that they are going to get the full package. The father-in-law is president of the young Israel the mother is coordinating three tehillim groups, his sister is a very well-balanced nurse at some hospital and her brother is happily married with kids in the five towns. As you know this does not happen all the time and in most cases stigmatized dating pops up. There’s always going to be an issue with some family mix perhaps someone is divorced perhaps a sibling does not fall into the community expectations. In this episode we break it down and get you a plan for this.
1. Father was in prison
2. They have 10 siblings, they have one sibling, they are an only child
3. The family is poor
4. Sibling is off the derech
5. Converts
6. Messy divorce
7. Mental illness in the family
8. Family has someone in it that is gay
9. They don't plan to attend their child's wedding
10. Parent’s don't speak to some of the children
11. Physical health issues in family
12. Child that is special needs
13. Parent who passed away
14. Money
1 hr 2 min
March 31, 2022 Ep 67: Tales of The Shidduch Journeymen
In the NBA, Journeymen is a titular title bestowed upon those who have played the game for many many years; moving from team to team.
The NTS guys reflect on recent shidduch developments in their lives. A bit not scripted, this episode delves through lessons taught from the journey men of american jewish dating.
Nobody Talks Shidduchim discusses:
Shidduchim, Shadchan, jewish, jewish dating, chatan, kallah, simchas, shaitels, sheitals , yeshiva , weddings , matches, fashion, tznius and more!
43 min
March 06, 2022 Ep 66: A Father’s Fireside Chat (About Their Children Dating)
Not every guy gets the privilege to have asteve martin from father of the bride esque father-in-law. But, our guest, Avi Dreyfuss may be the closest thing to it. As a father, who has successfully vetted and dealt with numerous guys attempting to steal his daughter. Avi would provide us with some keen insight on how guys should present themselves so maybe one day they too could actually get married.

1. We discuss the resume process
2. Do the fathers get together in Shul or at work by the water cooler and make fun of this shidduch stuff??
3. Careers, education & the game plan
4. what guys convey when expressing themselves on a resume.
5. Do you place any importance on a guy's looks, should we?
6. What guys should be aware of when they meet the parents for the first time/
7. Fathers calling references
8. What if your child says no to your friends child
9. Avi's craziest stories about guys_____
10. What should the gamelan be for guys post yeshiva/high school age
11. How to properly market your child & assist them in finding their spouse.
12. What happens when you see a former girl you’ve dated, during your Shidduchim days, sons resume??
13. Vaping, drinking, drugs, does it matter to the parents?
1 hr 4 min
February 27, 2022 Ep 65: Has Your Seminary Experience Ruined Your Dating Life?
Ep 65: Has your seminary experience ruined your dating life?
IJ and Avery are joined by Hanna and Rosie. They have a ton to share and help answer some questions about what goes on during this israel seminary experience.
1) What is the seminary experience?
2) Describe the seminary’s for us…if you go here you’re like this etc… Group pics & experience search
3) The fomo of not going
4) Picking your seminary!
5) Are there seminaries to sell your first born to in order to get in?
6) Seminaries to avoid?
7) What are the effects of certain seminaries on your shidduch resume?
8) What’s your response to a guy that says he won’t date you bec. Of the seminary you went too?
9) Stigma is that seminaries brainwash the gals..is this true?
10) So they only teach you to become Rebbetzin’s or makeup artists? What’s the occupations that they push on to you?
11) Do seminaries actually prepare you for real life?
12) Can you go to seminary later in life?
13) Do-Tell stories of YESHIVA guys in seminary
14) Thoughts on girls who go Shana bet? Shana Gimmel!
15) Do Madrichas only marry Madrichs
1 hr 17 min
February 16, 2022 Ep 64: Shadchanit Tell-All ft. Hindy Laster A.K.A. Queens Shadchan (with Yonah and Chani)
Co-Hosts Yona & Chani focus the mic on a matchmaker to discuss her side of the story. This matchmaker is the Queens Shadchanit, Mrs. Hindy Laster. She describes to us all the inside and latest trends, the best feedback the worst feedback and lets us walk away with good hints.
1. Process and intake system for Shadchanit
2. How A Shadchanit gets started?
3. What are issues that The Shadchanit is getting wrong?
4. Has WhatsApp changed anything??
5. When are parents wrong
6. How involved should shadchanim be?
7. Levels of shadchanim
1 hr 3 min
February 06, 2022 Ep 63: Can Married & Single People Hang Out Together?? In Passaic NJ They Do!!
Ep 63: Passaic Single Guys Actually Hang With Married Guys. Is there a world where singles and married people can actually hang out in? In Passaic New Jersey, it seems so. NTS crew discusses what the situation is by this rare; yet fun chevra does, to be able to hang out all together.
1) Can single guys hang out with married guys?
2) Married people get way more out of you then you them
3) Thinking about my old friends who have been married for a long time, we were friends for a long time but it just ain’t the same
4) Married friends expectations and using you as an escape
5) Having a relationship with your friends spouse
6) How do you differentiate between someone you’re hanging out with and someone that is actually marriage potential?
7) Maybe this will tarnish your name when you’re married friends think of an idea for you. Discussed!
1 hr 11 min
January 26, 2022 Ep 62: Smoking, Vices & The Real Mad Men of Shidduchim (ft. Ahuva Holy Shid)
Ep 62: Smoking, Vices & The Real Mad Men of Shidduchim w. Ahuva Holy Shid
IJ and Avery discuss with the gang all things smoking and other vices.
The year is 2022, you can smoke pot but not a cigarette; you can eat unhealthy kugel and Chulent but not vape around granny. It’s abundantly clear that our society has taken drastic changes on vices you can indulge in. What’s the gal’s, guy’s & therapists perspective on this?
topics:
1) Setting up the 2022 Vice situation (like the gym, Chesed & insta likes 🤔)
1a) Summation of what’s going on: cigarettes are equated to drugs, alcohol is only good at kiddush club.
2) Defining vices & healthy vices
3) Is Chesed, a career & “working all day” a vice?
4) Does it have to do with nurture? How you were raised?
5) Is smoking destroying a guys chance to get married?
6) Opinions of girls view on smoking
7) The guys defend smoking
8) What are the girls vices and why can’t they be called out to?
9) Food as a Vice in the Jewish community
10) Psychological perspective on vices
11) Tales of the Shidduch smoker
8) Erev Shabbos trauma
9) Avery discusses a fair balance between health & vices
10) Does this change how the shadchan sets up a girl who wants a smoker or Vice guy??
1 hr 8 min
January 16, 2022 Ep 61: Where to Eat on a date & The National Kosher Food Crawl w. Kosher Guru
In this episode Avery & IJ host The Kosher Guru aka Gabriel Boxer & Lea from @KosherLicks who tells us about all the hot spot kosher restaurants. Ever have a date at an amazing restaurant? Yes it’s hard to plan and expensive at times. Sit with us for dinner as we virtual restaurant Shidduch date crawl with the Guru who knows where to go.
1) What your restaurant pick says about you
2) Is there actually a date number where you have to go to a nice place???
3) What your order says about you
4) What they order says about them
5) Parking
6) Places with an ambiance’s like no other
7) Out of town restaurant: a problem or an opportunity?
Kosher Spots:
1) Manhattan
2) Queens
3) 5 Towns
4) Great neck
5) Out in the island (Long Island not 5t)
6) NYC: Midtown, UWS, UES, LES
7) Downtown
8) Mid NJ area
9) Teaneck / Bergen county
10) Monsey
11) Lakewood
12) Philly
13) Chicagoland / Skokie
14) Minnesota
15) Boston
16) Stamford
17) Georgia
18) Miami
19) Boca Raton
20) north Miami
21) Hollywood FL
22) Louisiana
23) Los Angeles
24) Texas

1 hr 17 min