Nonfiction4Life

SUMMARY

Canadian astronaut, author, and CEO Dave Williams in Leadership Moments from NASA: Achieving the Impossible examines the resilient culture and diverse leadership styles at NASA. In an organization where decisions can literally be matters of life and death, leadership styles matter!

Using oral histories and interviews, Dave Williams and his co-author Elizabeth Howell help us understand many triumphs and tragedies spanning more than 50 years of space exploration. We learn how NASA was able to send a man to the moon in less than a decade of John Kennedy’s announcement and how it continues to daringly push the limits of space exploration with confidence and courage. Despite all its setbacks, NASA has persisted as a place that continues to attract the best and brightest minds.

KEY LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

• Listen to your team; encourage people to speak up.
• Hire a diverse workforce using a competency-based model; empower bright, capable employees to use their expertise.
• Avoid the pitfall of “not saying we were wrong when we were wrong.”
• Organizational resilience and agility are critical and are often built through bouncing back from failure.

QUOTES FROM WILLIAMS

• “The NASA culture defies the limits of traditional leadership by creating peak-performing teams where each individual strives relentlessly to build their competency, to build trust and to create strong links in a chain that binds the team together.”
• “Leadership is the art of influencing others.”
• “The perspectives on leadership at NASA…have been validated through the results that were achieved with their widespread utilization over the past 60 years of human spaceflight.”

BUY Leadership Moments from NASA: Achieving the Impossible

RECOMMENDATION

• Learn of Williams’s personal experiences in space and NASA leadership in his memoir, Defying Limits: Lessons from the Edge of the Universe.

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SUMMARY

"In My Mother's Footsteps" by Mona Hajjar Halaby layers the history of the Arab-Israeli conflict with honest recollections of a Palestinian mother and daughter who both lived in their homeland at different times. Leaving California to spend a year teaching conflict resolution to schoolchildren in Ramallah, Halaby keeps a journal of her observations, feelings, experiences, and impressions of the challenges of living in a militarized, occupied town.

This sabbatical gives her a chance to claim a homeland where she'd never lived.: “For me—a Palestinian in the Diaspora, whose mother has been denied the right to return to her home lost in 1948—my coming back and living in Palestine was a way of reinstating my connection to the land of my mother and grandparents. Like a homing pigeon who always returns to its coop, it was a way of saying, 'I might be far away geographically, but I still belong here.'” Then, after 59 years of exile, Mona's mother also returns to Jerusalem where, in a poetic role reversal, Mona would guide her through the narrow cobblestone alleys of the Old City where she grew up.

Throughout the book, Halaby recounts seminal political decisions, such as the Balfour Declaration and the British Mandate for Palestine, all etching a deep and long-lasting mark on the country and her family. Ultimately, however, she has much deeper reasons for raising her voice: “I cannot turn a blind eye to the injustices perpetrated against the Palestinians, or to any dispossessed or subjugated people. Can I forgive, or forget, what was, and is still being done to the Palestinians? With work, forgiving is doable, but forgetting is unthinkable. I cannot and do not want to forget the tragedies that have shaped my family and my people’s lives. I want to honor the memory of their forced exile and share their story with the rest of the world.”

QUOTES FROM HALABY

• “Jerusalem was known to be one of the most tolerant places in the world, where different cultures and religions lived side by side, and respected one another, living in balance and harmony.”
• “Mama was larger than life. The puffiness of her palm reminded me of a loaf of warm pita bread, and when she laced her fingers into mine like a pretzel, I felt safe. I would have walked with her to the ends of the earth.”
• “Refugees are like seeds that scatter in the wind, and land on different soils that become their reluctant homes.”
• “I kept trying to imagine what the Ramallah siege must have felt like for younger children...I would have anticipated the opposite. I always assumed that children experiencing trauma and military violence grow up too fast.”
• “Palestinians are strong and tough, like sabir, the cactus plant growing in their indigenous land, and which also means “patience” and “endurance” in Arabic. Not only have they survived the indignity and brutality of the Occupation, but they have also done it with dignity and pride. They will not surrender their struggle for Liberation.”
• “It’s not a conflict about ancient hatred, or religion, as it is a modern struggle over land and who gets to live on that land.”

BUY In My Mother's Footsteps: A Palestinian Refugee Returns Home

RECOMMENDATION

• Watch “Jerusalem, We Are Here,” a virtual tour created by displaced Palestinians, including Mona Halaby as English narrator.

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SUMMARY

In his book “Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less,” Leidy Klotz shows how we systematically overlook the concept of taking away. Instead, we tend to default to fixing through adding. Moreover, additive ideas come to mind quickly and easily; subtractive ideas require more cognitive effort.

So, Professor Klotz from the University of Virginia, where he directs the Convergent Behavioral Science Initiative, has pioneered behavioral research pinpointing how and why we underutilize this fundamental approach to problem-solving. He also offers several tools for “using the minus sign” to gain greater satisfaction in our personal and professional lives.

KEY POINTS

• Providing proof of competence after subtracting can be challenging.
• Synaptic pruning, when our brains clean up unused connections between neurons, is an example of natural, physiological subtraction.
• By repeating the word “more” and asserting “Greater production is the key to prosperity and peace,” President Truman’s eschewed subtraction and set the United States on a path of accumulation.
• To subtract effectively, use “stop-doing” lists and “lesslists.”
• “Remove” first, then apply the popular trifecta of “reduce, reuse, recycle.”

QUOTES FROM KLOTZ

• “Subtraction is the act of getting to less, but it is not the same as doing less. In fact, getting to less often means doing, or at least thinking, more.”
• “When we subtract information from our mental storerooms, our processing speeds up like a computer after closing a memory-intensive program that has been running in the background. Working at full capacity, we can create new knowledge—and perhaps even distill it into wisdom.”
• “Subtractors need not be minimalists, laid-back, anti-technology, or possessed of any other philosophy that owes some of its popularity to its ease.”

BUY Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less

RECOMMENDATIONS

 For a children’s take on subtraction, BUY The Lorax by Dr. Seuss.

Watch this video to simplify your home by mastering Marie Kondo’s way of folding basic clothing items.

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At age 70, Letty Cottin Pogrebin felt fit as a fiddle on that fateful day she walked three miles to her routine mammogram. A founding editor of Ms. (magazine) and women’s rights activist, she had energy and to spare until she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Facing six weeks of radiation treatment, she was now obligated to join others in the waiting room of Memorial Sloan-Kettering in New York City. So, putting on her journalist hat, she began interviewing fellow patients. The result? How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick–an invaluable handbook about “The New Illness Etiquette” for both the sick and their friends.

00:10   Intro to Letty Cottin Pogrebin, book author and founding editor of Ms. (magazine)

01:15   Flu and cold season begins

01:45   Pogrebin gets a routine mammogram at age 70

02:10   Breast cancer diagnosis comes without warning signs

04:00   Shares news of cancer and radiation with close friends via email

05:00   Searches in vain for a book about sickness and friendship

05:50   Interviews waiting-room patients for How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick

06:31   Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center attracts people the world over

07:45   Discovers discrepancies between their the experiences and wishes of sick people

08:15   Unexpectedly learns about caregivers’ needs

09:30   Illness has a ripple effect, touching families and friends

09:50   Bottom line: people want to be honest—both the sick and their friends

10:40   What a friend should be able to ask a sick friend

11:10   What a sick person should be able to say to a friend

11:55   Truth-telling and “The New Illness Etiquette”

12:30   A friend reacts perfectly to Pogrebin’s diagnosis

13:15   Asking “Do you want to talk about it?” gives a sick person control

13:25   Other lines that are both true and helpful

14:30   Sick people don’t want to hear or answer, “How are you?”

15:55   Their responses can overwhelm friends with TMI

16:15   Asking “What’s happening?” gives patient control over how much to disclose

17:30   Nobody wants to be labeled sick (such as “cancer girl”)

18:15   Saying, “You look great!” can give false reassurance and seem disingenuous

18:30   “Empathy translated into action equals kindness”

18:50   “Illness is friendship’s proving ground”

19:15   Guidelines for visiting sick friends – be considerate

20:40   Guidelines for giving gifts to sick friends – pay attention to diagnoses

21:00   Examples of inappropriate gifts and insensitive comments

22:30   Personalize a friend’s illness to the point you know what gifts to give

24:15   Humor and laughter depend entirely on how well you know the patient

24:50   Remembers laughing at Marlo Thomas’s funny jokes

26:00   Disparages fruit baskets and extols massages (and other sensitive gifts)

27:20   Why ice cream scoops adorn the book cover

28:50   Contrasts generous gifts with the gift she really wanted

29:15   Follow up “What would you like?” with “You know I’m bringing something.”

30:25   Illustrates differences between sick men and sick women

30:50   25% of men interviewed hadn’t disclosed their illness

31:15   Tells a heartbreaking story of Orthodox Jewish man hiding his cancer diagnosis

33:45   Cultural and gender barriers prevent many men from sharing the truth

34:10   Women tend to feel comfortable confiding in close friends

35:30   The book includes many lists for how to be helpful & honest

36:00   First step: learn what to say to a friend who’s sick (“Do no harm.”)

36:20   Also, learn appropriate things to say to the bereaved

37:10   Recommendation – Ryan Hamilton: Happy Face (on Netflix)

BUY How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick

RECOMMENDATION

Watch the trailer for Ryan Hamilton: Happy Face.

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SUMMARY

In her breakout memoir “HOUSE OF MUSIC,” Kadiatu Kanneh-Mason, opens up about what it takes to create a family of Black classical musicians in a Britain divided by class and race. Mother to seven extremely gifted children, she describes the difficulties of navigating the professional world of classical music while raising a musical family in a normal home in Nottingham, England.

Rising above a family history pocked by prejudice and riddled with racism, she and her husband Stuart pour their love and support into their children through unwavering emotional, financial, and intellectual commitment. Although lacking the privilege and polish of elite music schools, all seven children have developed exceptional skills and brilliant stage presence, catapulting them into the toughest musical competitions, providing extraordinary opportunities, and earning undisputed world fame.

The Kanneh-Masons are a remarkable family. But what truly sparkles in this eloquent memoir is the joyous affirmation that children are a gift and we must do all we can to nurture them.

KEY MOMENTS

• “I saw from my [unwed] sister and my mother that motherhood was a state of determination and constancy, and that love of one’s children was the single urgent mission of life."
• “When over two billion people already agog at an English prince marrying an African-American, tuned into the wedding and saw this teenage Black cellist framed between the flowering arches and playing with all the love and passion he knew, it was clear the world was going to change.”
• [When the oldest six children played on "Britain’s Got Talent"], “they were determined to bring the message that the power and depth of classical music can be accessed by everyone.”

QUOTES FROM KANNEH-MASON

• “Playing music was an organic part of family life, rooted in the routine of the wildness of every day."
• “Children who are gifted are often gifted with more than one direction, and these gifts have to be discovered and chosen. We were keenly aware of how responsible we were for giving our children access to who they needed to be.”
• “Music encompasses a vast emotional and intellectual world, and spending time to know it and to be its instrument is a great privilege. But the cost is high.”
• “The family home has evolved almost organically into a house of music. Our conversations are about music: listening, playing, concerts, practice. Most of the jokes and teasing insults are musical, and no day can be planned or imagined without first working out the logistics of each music commitment.”
• “To become a classical musician is similar to training as an athlete. It demands intense physical discipline, being alert to injury and being mentally strong.”
• “It has taken generations of love and sacrifice to create the conditions and the confidence for our children to be classical performers.”

BUY House of Music

RECOMMENDATION

Watch and listen to Sheku Kanneh-Mason play “Shostakovich Cello Concerto No. 1” as he wins his title as 2016 BBC Young Musician.

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SUMMARY

In his memoir ONE BY ONE BY ONE, Dr. Aaron Berkowitz traces his journey as a young doctor grappling to bridge the gap between one of the world’s richest countries and one of the world’s poorest. On assignment in Haiti with Partners in Health, he meets Janel, a 23-year-old man with the largest brain tumor he or any of his colleagues at Harvard Medical School have ever seen. Trying to make the first big save of his medical career as a neurosurgeon, and determined to “to bring the benefits of modern medical science to those most in need” and work toward “solidarity rather than charity alone,” Dr. Berkowitz aims to save Janel’s life by bringing him back to Boston for a 12-hour brain surgery. 

With heart-wrenching twists and turns, the story of Janel’s uncertain medical future parallels Dr. Berkowitz’s own uncertainties as a doctor. Berkowitz brings the reader to the front lines of global humanitarian work as he struggles to overcome the challenges that arise when well-meaning intentions give rise to unintended consequences, when cultures and belief systems clash, and when it’s not clear what the right thing to do is, let alone the right way to do it.

KEY FACTS

• About 4 billion people lack access to basic healthcare.
• Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.
• More than 10,000 non-governmental organizations (NGOs) work in Haiti (one for every 1,000 people), yet Haiti remains one of the poorest countries, with some of the worst health, education, and sanitation statistics in the world.

QUOTES FROM BERKOWITZ

• "I learned how a few individuals working together might just be able to make a small difference in those big billions, one by one by one.”
• “From illiteracy to entitlement and corruption, from going to the bathroom with the door open to refusing to sit near the bathroom, Haiti’s inequities and their juxtaposition are in plain view before even arriving there.”
• “PIH [Partners in Health] describes its work as being based on solidarity rather than charity alone. Charity is necessary, of course: those who have more should help those who have less. But charity means us giving to them, to some abstract all. Solidarity redefines this relationship. It invites all of us to share with each other because we are each part of the same all.”
• “PIH recognized early on that health is not only about medicine but also about combating poverty.”
• “If we frame problems in terms of their constraints rather than their possibilities, prioritizing risk avoidance above all else, we are less motivated to find solutions.”

BUY One by One by One: Making a Small Difference Amid a Billion Problems

RECOMMENDATION

Learn more about Partners in Health and their mission by visiting their website.

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SUMMARY

Christina Soontornvat thrills readers of all ages with her 2021 Newbery Honor Book, All Thirteen: The Incredible Cave Rescue of the Thai Boys’ Soccer Team. Winner of numerous nonfiction awards, All Thirteen is a gripping page-turner. What begins as a simple afternoon adventure for teenage boys exploring a cave escalates into a global life-or-death mission to save a soccer team and their coach.

Of Thai descent, Soontornvat happened to visit Thailand on the same day the boys were lost in the cave, and she returned to the U.S. the same day they were finally rescued. With the heart of a scientist and an author, she knew she needed to capture this compelling true story. In All Thirteen, Soontornvat combines science, culture, and real-life suspense to explain the complexities of the rescue operation while simultaneously sharing the emotional and mental struggles of the thirteen young people trapped underground.

RULES FOR CAVE DIVING (developed by Sheck Exley in the 1970s)

1. Always use a single, continuous guideline from the entrance of the cave throughout the dive.
2. Always use the “Thirds Rule”: Use one-third of your air supply on the way in, use one-third on the way out, and save one-third in case you run into an emergency.
3. Avoid deep diving in caves.
4. Avoid panic by building up experience slowly and being prepared for emergencies.
5. Carry at least three lights per diver.
6. Use the safest possible scuba equipment.
7. Avoid stirring up silt on the bottom.
8. Practice emergency procedures with your partner before diving, and review them often.
9. Always carry equipment for emergencies and know how to use it.
10. Never let overconfidence allow you to think it’s OK to break any of these rules.

QUOTES FROM SOONTORNVAT

• “For many of the people of northern Thailand, caves are particularly sacred places that deserve respect.”
• “Thailand’s tourism slogan is the ‘Land of Smiles,’ and visitors to the country often say that people here smile more than most. But in Thailand, smiling isn’t something you do solely to express happiness. Thai people may smile during an argument, or when they’ve just lost their wallet, or when they get into a fender bender. A smile is a way to make the people around you feel comfortable, to keep the situation cool, and to keep cool yourself.”
• “The lesson I wanted to share the most comes from Coach Ek and the boys, who—like their rescuers—defied impossible odds. They taught me that ‘impossible’ exists only in your mind. You are capable of so much more than you can even imagine.”

BUY All Thirteen: The Incredible Cave Rescue of the Thai Boys' Soccer Team (Newbery Honor Book)

RECOMMENDATION

Watch the moment the two British cave divers found the thirteen stranded young men, a YouTube video that immediately went viral.

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SUMMARY

Emmy award–winning journalist and media expert Frank Sesno teaches how to question others in his book, Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change. Sesno shares the secret sauce to asking the right question at the right time. Mastering this simple skill sets apart successful people in all disciplines from the pack.

With more than three decades of diverse journalistic reporting under his belt, Sesno knows how to use questions to break down barriers, discover secrets, solve puzzles, and imagine new ways of doing things. He explores all different types of inquiries—from strategic and confrontational questions to empathy and creativity questions. Sesno’s advice will help you know what to ask and when, what you should listen for, and what you can expect as the outcome. By asking more, you can get people talking!

KEY INQUIRY SKILLS HELP YOU…

• Connect with strangers
• Enhance friendships
• Cement relationships
• Land career opportunities
• Interview candidates
• Advance short and long-term goals
• Improve dinner-party conversations
• Solve mysteries
• Challenge experts
• Learn to listen
• Develop sharp strategies
• Discover your legacy
• Invent and innovate
• Express empathy
• Convey interest
• Generate trust
• Hold people accountable
• Advocate effectively
• Project moral authority
• Drive creative thinking
• Confront power
• Develop mission statements
• Solve problems
• Generate trust
• Find meaning
• Shape the future
• Change the world!

QUOTES FROM SESNO

• “Questions are humanity’s unique attribute. They are our investment in ourselves and in the future. When we ask more, we open our minds and challenge others to open theirs. We organize our thoughts so we can tackle big ideas and probe with precision. We learn and lead and discover.”
• “Smart questions make smarter people.”
• “A few well-placed questions will jump-start a conversation. The more you ask, the more you get. You decide what and how much you want to serve up. The ingredients for this recipe are readily available and require just a little preparation.”
• “Questions are our way to connect with other human beings. I believe that inquiry, not imitation, is the sincerest form of flattery.”

BUY Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change

RECOMMENDATION

Get more tips for asking great questions by listening to Nonfiction4Life podcast episode #110: The Book of Beautiful Questions: The Powerful Questions That Will Help You Decide, Create, Connect, and Lead by Warren Berger.

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For more than 20 years, Heather Lende has written obituaries for the Chilkat Valley News in the tiny town of Haines, Alaska. Now, the New York Times bestselling author weaves her own life lessons together with recollections of the deceased. And we get Find the Good: Unexpected Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer, a gentle, insightful memoir mixed with humor and sensitivity.

More than a storyteller, Lende is a “story catcher” who knows the challenge of describing life with words that both honor the dead and bless the living. But she manages well. "Find the Good" reminds us all to live more gratefully by seeing life through the lens of optimism.

00:25   Intro to author Heather Lende from Haines, Alaska

01:25   Obituary writers describe a life in 500-600 words

01:30   Lende’s mantra: “Find the good.”

02:00   Writing our own obituaries, every day

02:25   Unpacking the title, “Find the Good”

03:45   Countering sadness

04:15   Lende’s career begins in 1996

05:45   Characteristics and qualifications of a good obituary writer

07:45   Be a “story catcher”

08:45   Who approves obituaries?

11:00   Lende’s own brush with death changes everything

12:20   Recovery breeds empathy and gratitude

12:45   Wounds, seen and unseen

14:00   Deaths hit close to home

15:00   “I’m just the chronicler of these tragedies,” trying to give families hope

15:40   Using her art to make a difference and move hearts

16:30   Lende faces her own grief with unwed daughter’s pregnancy

17:00   “Draw lines in the sand so you can move them.”

17:45   Wisdom from an elderly Southern lady

19:00   Sometimes the “Big Worry” isn’t a worry at all

19:40   “Practice staggered breathing”

20:25   Life lessons from choir metaphors

22:00   “Writing obituaries is my way of transcending the bad news.”

22:25   The story of Richard Boyce, a fisherman lost at sea

24:45   The power of a father’s love

25:20   Story of Russ, the town cemetery gardener

26:00   A long-lost son returns, dies, and gives his home to hospice

27:00   The power of simple greeting cards and the family Bible

28:32   The story of Rene—writing a pre-death obituary for a breast-cancer victim

29:02   What would you do with your remaining days?

30:42   Quantity vs. quality of life

30:59   Everyday blessings

31:20   Life’s two greatest regrets

31:45   Longing for small-town living

32:10   The downsides of small-town living

34:05   Navigating “spiritual boot camp”

35:00   Nurturing the skill of “finding the good”

35:20   Hearts turn to stone, but stones also turn to hearts

36:15   The story of Vic—proof people can change

37:15   How to get a good obituary

37:45   Who will write Lende’s obituary?

38:30   The immediate value of an obituary

39:10   What Lende hopes her readers feel

39:40   How to create small towns anywhere

QUOTES FROM LENDE

"If indeed all the wisdom I had in my heart was to be summed up in final words and it was difficult to speak more than, say, three, what would I rasp before my soul flew up the chimney? Find the good. I surprised myself with this pretty great notion. Find the good. That’s enough. That’s plenty. I could leave my family with that."

"Awful events are followed by dozens and dozens of good deeds. It’s not that misery loves company, exactly; rather, it’s that suffering, in all its forms, and our response to it, binds us together across dinner tables, neighborhoods, towns and cities, and even time. Bad doings bring out the best in people."

"I have a friend who says we spend the first half of our life building it and the second half preventing it from falling apart. I’d rather be under construction when I die."

“We are all writing our own obituary every day by how we live. The best news is that there’s still time for additions and revisions before it goes to press.”

"The invisible part of a mother’s heart is the strongest and most flexible because it enlarges with each child and grandchild. Rather than divide the heart’s chambers into smaller rooms as the family grows, love multiplies them."

"No matter how many obituaries I write, I will never get used to talking to someone one day and learning that they’ve left town, and the entire planet, the next. It may not shock me the way it does others, but that doesn’t make it any easier. There is no good in missing someone so badly you can’t even hum."

BUY Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer

Other Books by Heather Lende

BUY If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name: News from Small-Town Alaska
BUY Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: A True Story of Bad Breaks and Small Miracles

RECOMMENDATIONS

Listen to Nonfiction4Life podcast episode 102, Farewell: Vital End-of-Life Questions with Candid Answers from a Leading Palliative and Hospice Physician by Dr. Edward T. Creagan with Sandra Wendel.

Check out Nonfiction4Life podcast episode 172, The Parlay Effect: How Female Connection Can Change the World by Anne Devereux-Mills.

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SUMMARY

“The Power of Kindness: Why Empathy Is Essential in Everyday Life” by Dr. Brian Goldman is the result of a veteran ER physician questioning his empathy quotient. Concerned his ability to be kind has diminished, Goldman travels the world looking for stories and data about empathy. Relieved to learn neuroscientists believe humans are hard-wired to experience empathy, he investigates why kindness is so vital to our very existence.

KEY TERMS

• Empathy – the ability or capacity to imagine what it’s like to be someone else and have your actions be informed by that
• Empathy Fatigue - can result from a barrage of media images and news coverage designed to make us care about one cause after another
• Compassion – the doing part of empathy, sometimes called emotional concern
• Validation - a method used to show empathy towards Alzheimer’s patients
• Synchrony - the superhighway that leads to connection and to kindness
• Apathy – the antonym of empathy
• The dark triad ­– those not kind at all: narcissisists, psychopaths and sociopaths, Machiavellianism
• Callousness – a general disregard for other and a lack of empathy

QUOTES FROM GOLDMAN

• “When I’m kind to people, I see them as being like me, and me like them.”
• “You’re more likely to empathize with members of another group if you discover reasons to like [them].”
• “Some of us are born extraordinarily kind. But most get there only after experiencing pain and then learning from it.”
• “If you want to be kind to others, the first person you must connect with is you.”

BUY The Power of Kindness: Why Empathy Is Essential in Everyday Life

RECOMMENDATION

Watch Dr. Brian Goldman’s TED Talk, “Doctors make mistakes. Can we talk about that?”

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