Nonfiction4Life

SUMMARY 

Anne Devereux-Mills, once a powerful New York advertising executive, captures her story of creating authentic female connections in her book, “The Parlay Effect: How Female Connection Can Change the World.”

After experiencing a “trifecta of setbacks”—losing her job, health, and last child (to college)—Devereux-Mills found herself in a new city with no real female friends. Tired of transactional relationships, she was hungry for “four quarters instead of a hundred pennies.” So, she invited complete strangers into her home for food and conversation, and Parlay House was born.

In her words, Anne “set out to replicate [the] magic of growth through difference—and to do it by building a community of women. Ideally, the organization I envisioned would include a wide-ranging group of dynamic women and provide a safe place for us to gather, laugh, relax, talk about important ideas and, for at least a few hours every month, put ourselves first, something women rarely do. I wanted to explore this idea of self-expansion.”

KEY TERMS

• Parlay – to speak; a bet where the stakes are higher when you’re doing it together with others
• Parlay House – an inclusive series of in-person and digital gatherings for women that fosters authentic connections and supportive relationships, especially for women at inflection points and crossroads
• The Parlay Effect – goodness transferred one-to-one then often multiplied exponentially as people observe positive acts and begin to pass them on; an action from one person to another amplified and replicated at an exponential level that generates the hope that small actions can truly be part of a significant cascade of good
• One Small Thing – a single act of kindness
• Cascading – when one small thing triggers multiple empathetic acts

QUOTES FROM DEVEREUX-MILLS

• “When I lost power, I lost connections, and I didn’t want to have relationships that were based on transactions.”
• “Empowered by other women, women don’t just pay it forward; they pay it outward.”
• “I have a personal saying that goes like this: ‘We are stronger when we are connected.’ This is what inspired me to create the community of Parlay House. It taught me that the company of other women helps me to feel grounded, fulfilled and empowered.” 

BUY The Parlay Effect: How Female Connection Can Change the World

RECOMMENDATION

To find how and where women are connecting with other women, check out the Parlay House website.

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SUMMARY

Pediatric occupational therapist Angela Hanscom, author of “Balanced and Barefoot,” urges parents, teachers, and administrators to embrace “free play” for children of all ages. Today, without merry-go-rounds and teeter-totters, time to roll down hills and get dirty, these modern kids are experiencing an alarming increase in sensory and emotional disorders. But Hanscom, comes to their rescue with “Balanced and Barefoot,” a book full of compelling reasons to encourage unrestrained outdoor play and movement. Not only is free play more fun, she argues, but, without it, cognitive and physical development are stunted.

As a mother and therapist, Angela Hanscom observed a steep decline in sensory-motor development among her children’s peers. So, she started TimberNook as a vehicle to get children outdoors where they could enjoy the rich sensory experiences nature offers. What began as a backyard experiment has now grown into a movement to inspire, restore, and challenge little minds and bodies in communities across the world. 

KEY TERMS

• “Active free play”- being fully engrossed with our whole body in an experience
• “Deep play” – play that involves purpose and teaches social skills
• “Vestibular sense” – sense of balance controlled by little hairs in our inner ear; helps us effectively navigate and move around our environment
• “Proprioception” – the ability to sense what different parts of our body are doing without even looking at them; awareness of where our body is in space
• “Loose parts” – multi-purpose play items (e.g., a stick, planks, baskets)

KEY POINTS

• Research shows kids are in a seated position for about 9 hrs/day.
• Spinning helps kids to integrate all their senses and to organize their brains.
• Playgrounds have morphed into colorful, very safe, low-to-the-ground, low-risk places for play easily mastered by age four or five.
• The unpredictability of outdoors challenges and develops all the senses.
• Constantly keeping a baby upright endangers a child, including creating more ear infections.

QUOTES FROM HANSCOM

• "Active free play outdoors is a kind of play that promotes healthy sensory and motor development in children. It is the antidote to your child spending hours sitting indoors and staring at screens, and to you as a parent being too busy and overscheduled with kid activities to enjoy parenting. The outdoors awakens and rejuvenates the mind and engages all the senses."
• "In nature, children learn to take risks, overcome fears, make new friends, regulate emotions, and create imaginary worlds.
• "Active free play--particularly in the outdoors--is absolutely the most beneficial gift we as parents, teachers, and caregivers can bestow on our children to ensure healthy bodies, creative minds academic success, emotional stability, and strong social skills."  
• "Having the ability to play away from the adult world opens up many opportunities and feelings of freedom."
• "When children play outdoors, they are naturally motivated to move--strengthening their muscles with each move, each step, and every encounter with nature."

BUY Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children

RECOMMENDATIONS

• Check out the Playgroundology website and blog.
• Listen to Nonfiction4Life podcast #36 with Richard Louv, author of Vitamin N: 500 Ways to Enrich the Health & Happiness of Your Family & Community.

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SUMMARY

“Strong Like Water: How I Found the Courage to Lead with Love in Business and in Life,” by new author Laila Tarraf chronicles one woman’s painful struggle with emotional trauma. The eldest of three children of Lebanese immigrant parents, Tarraf takes on the dual role of mediator between a warring mother and father and bridge between two cultures and languages. Finally, in her forties, when life serves up the crushing loss of her husband and both parents in quick succession, Tarraf can no longer ignore her own powerful emotions.

In this “leader-sort of business book disguised as a memoir,” Tarraf tells her story with both brutal honesty and tender vulnerability. Her eventual transformation comes when

she learns to strengthen her heart while giving it “equal playing time” alongside her head. Connecting the two becomes the key to unlocking both personal and professional growth.

KEY IDENTIFIERS OF PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

• Taking on the hero, helper, or fixer persona
• Disconnecting
• Overachieving
• Becoming self-reliant prematurely
• Keeping relationships at a distance; lacking intimacy and trust
• Pretending to not need comfort and nurturing

QUOTES FROM TARRAF

• “Overachieving is the probably the most acceptable and respectable coping mechanism there is.”
• “There was no room for pain in my world…I had to keep moving mentally, emotionally, and physically to avoid the inevitable hardships in life.”
• “I kept on pushing down my disappointment, one swallow at a time, until I actually forgot that I possessed the very basic need of wanting to be cared for by my parents—or anyone for that matter.”
• “We all need space to know how we feel.”
• “True power comes from connecting your head to your heart.”
• “When a leader shows vulnerability…[she] normalizes it for everyone around [her].”

BUY Strong Like Water: How I Found the Courage to Lead with Love in Business and in Life

RECOMMENDATION

Check out She Writes Press, an award-winning publisher for women authors.

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SUMMARY

Not just another rags-to-riches story, “Unstoppable” by Joshua M. Greene is the unbelievable true story of “Siggi B. Wilzig’s Astonishing Journey from Auschwitz Survivor and Penniless Immigrant to Wall Street Legend.”

Initially reluctant to write another dark Holocaust-survivor story, Greene, was surprised to find the post-Auschwitz life of Siggi B. Wilzig full of great hope. A force of nature, this Holocaust survivor not only became a business behemoth in both the oil and banking industries but also a powerful example of how to live every day fully, joyfully, and generously.

“This is a book that will make you feel good about being an American,” says Greene. “He saw this as a place that gave immigrants a chance, a place where character was vaulted as a noble quality over cunning and cutthroat business practice.”

According to Greene, what Siggi would want us to know today is to never give in to despair; never give in to the darkness. In our time, when heroes are in short supply, Siggi provides hope and heroism.

SIGGI’S SALIENT QUALITIES

• Strong self-confidence that rebuffed any type of intimidation
• Early awareness of how adults thought and behaved
• Belief in the Almighty
• Authentic interest in caring for humanity
• Love of life (joie de vivre)
• Wicked sense of humor
• Drive for learning
• Foxlike intuition
• Fierce loyalty
• Extreme generosity
• Unstoppable!

BUY Unstoppable: Siggi B. Wilzig's Astonishing Journey from Auschwitz Survivor and Penniless Immigrant to Wall Street Legend

RECOMMENDATIONS

Check out The Blue Card, an organization founded by Siggi's daughter Sherry Wilzig to provide support and assistance to Holocaust survivors suffering from cancer.

Enjoy watching the YouTube video of Joshua M. Greene describing Siggi as he confronts the Federal Reserve.

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SUMMARY

Co-founder of the toy company Melissa & Doug, Melissa Bernstein reveals the raw truth she's hidden most of her life: for more than 50 years, she's grappled with existential anxiety and depression, bringing her to the brink of self-harm. In her book, ⁠"LifeLines: An Inspirational Journey from Profound Darkness to Radiant Light," released March 16, 2021, Bernstein reveals the raw truth she's hidden most of her life.

Both haunting and hopeful, LifeLines is an unfiltered look at one survivor’s journey from deep darkness to liberating, rapturous joy.

From the time she was little, Bernstein never felt safe sharing her dark, despairing feelings. Instead, she turned to writing for solace. For decades, she kept these words private while vehemently denying her anxiety and depression and clinging to control in any form, especially perfectionism. But hiding behind that façade finally became too much to bear. Now, in her book Lifelines, she unapologetically pulls back the curtain to reveal how she has lived with and finally conquered her own terrifying demons.

Representing all creative misfits, Bernstein speaks out about her difficult journey so others can also find a way to save themselves from the black hole of mental illness. Although “we all have the power to channel darkness into light,” accepting our emotional selves is key to turning things around. Finally accepting her own mental challenges, Bernstein has learned to harness their power and channel them into brilliant, profound creativity and light. Four lines on the book cover summarize how Bernstein has turned her inward struggles outward:

"Today I saved a life; Although it was my very own; Which won’t serve a greater purpose; Till I rescue lives unknown."

Choosing life has allowed Bernstein to transcend pain and loneliness and courageously bridge into connection and joy. “This deep yearning for connection ushered in optimism I had never known. I now realized my mission extended well beyond the creation of toys.”

Melissa Bernstein has designed more than 5000 wildly successful toys. But, in the words of Bernstein’s husband Doug, “This book—authentic, unedited, and her own words—is her greatest gift yet.”

BUY LifeLines: An Inspirational Journey from Profound Darkness to Radiant Light

RECOMMENDATIONS

If you’re looking for support and authentic connection on your own journey toward mindfulness as well as a sense of purpose and meaning, join LifeLines.com, an online community, resource center, and content hub developed and underwritten by the Bernsteins. The website, launched March 1, 2021, is stunningly beautiful as well as a lot of fun to navigate.

Questions or concerns? Melissa would be glad to talk to you directly! Contact her at [email protected].

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John Rocco, #1 New York Times bestselling children’s author and illustrator, shares his recent release, How We Got to the Moon. Organized in seven sections, the book takes readers from age ten to 99 through the years of Apollo, a decade of serious space exploration.

Using vivid illustrations and just the right amount of technical and historical information, Rocco highlights famous people such as Werner von Braun and President John F. Kennedy and many, many of the lesser-known 400,000 who helped America get to the moon. His artwork also simplifies complex scientific principles making them understandable for the casual reader and intriguing for the more serious.

The space race was more than a friendly competition with the Soviets. As Rocco says, “To the men and women working on Apollo, it was more than an exploration of this new frontier called space; it was a race for survival. The American way of life was at stake.” So, Americans went to work and, against all odds, made it happen!

Longlisted for the National Book Award and a Robert F. Sibert Honor Book, How We Got to the Moon is also a YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction Finalist and a Mathical Award Winner.

BUY How We Got to the Moon: The People, Technology, and Daring Feats of Science Behind Humanity's Greatest Adventure

RECOMMENDATIONS

• For a taste of John Rocco’s illustrations and dozens of great resources, visit his website.

• To see how Americans handled a failed mission, BUY Apollo 13.

• For family viewing and a history lesson in rocket-building, BUY October Sky.

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SUMMARY

In The Problem of Alzheimer's: How Science, Culture, and Politics Turned a Rare Disease into a Crisis and What We Can Do About It, Jason Karlawish, physician and writer, combines deep research with personal practice as Co-Director of the Penn Memory Center. Part case studies, part history, part present assessment, and part future projection, Karlawish’s book presents a strong argument for recognizing Alzheimer’s disease as a crisis. However, listing numerous biomedical breakthroughs, political gains, technological innovations, and formalized help agencies, the author leaves the issue shimmering with hope. We can, in fact, assign dignity to dementia, support caregivers and loved ones, and help patients reclaim autonomy and self of self.

KEY TERMS, EVENTS, AND PEOPLE

• Dementia – disabling cognitive impairments (memory, attention, concentration, multitasking)
• Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) – noticeable cognitive impairments causing inefficiencies in daily activities, but not disability
• Alzheimer’s Disease – one of the most common diseases of the brain causing dementia and MCI
• The Alzheimer’s Association – formed as a self-help group in late 20th century by seven families incensed by the poor quality of care of absence of support for patients and families affected by Alzheimer’s disease
• The National Alzheimer’s Project Act – enacted by Obama authorizing Congress to have all Federal agencies to come together to create a national Alzheimer’s plan
• The “founding fathers and mothers” of Alzheimer’s – early 20th century included mostly German-speaking psychiatrists and neuropathologists; late 20th century included women caring for family members who, encountering an indifferent healthcare system, formed self-help groups
• Robert Katzman - wrote “the essay heard round the world” reframing senile dementia as Alzheimer’s disease
• Jerry Stone – wealthy Chicagoan whose wife had Alzheimer’s helped bring together the seven family
• Hilda Pridgeon – formidable feminist force instrumental in organizing the Alzheimer’s Association
• Bobbi Glaze – partnered with Pridgeon to form the Alzheimer’s Association designed for the middle class—the neither rich or poor—who need help

QUOTES FROM KARLAWISH

• “[The] “physical, psychological, financial, and moral suffering…adds up to a humanitarian problem [and] the solution isn’t simply better medical care.”
• “Short of a cure, short of a cure for each and every cause of dementia, we will have to learn to live with the disease.”
• “People are desperate to hold on to something that is very essential at least moral agency which is what allows us to think and decide.”
• “[Over the last several decades] the risk of developing dementia has been declining…The data suggests it’s about access and opportunity.”
• “A very mature, sensible way to live is to [recognize] that some degree of cognitive changes is going to be part of our lives.”

BUY The Problem of Alzheimer's: How Science, Culture, and Politics Turned a Rare Disease into a Crisis and What We Can Do About It

RECOMMENDATION

For extensive resources offered to Alzheimer’s disease patients and caregivers, check out the Alzheimers’ Association website.

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SUMMARY

In her book Passports and Pacifiers: Traveling the World, One Tantrum at a Time, Kaitlyn Jain, mother of four and a world traveler, shares her travel tips and family adventures. On every trip, Jain brings along her positive attitude and sense of humor while she and her husband balance careful planning with spontaneity. To afford their globetrotting, the Jains find deals and hone their parenting and packing skills. Part memoir, part guide Passports and Pacifiers is sure to inspire even the most reluctant parents to pack up the kids and go!

KEY TRAVEL TIPS

• Meal-planning: take lots of snacks; realize peanut butter is considered a liquid and is not found in most other countries (“Every culture has something that’s bland…that the picky eater will eat.”)
• Sleeping: break up the day with scheduled naps; drive during naptime (“Parents lose forty-four days, or over a thousand hours, of sleep in in the first year of an infant’s life.”)
• Top priorities: budget is number one; packing what you need but not more than you can carry; having a flexible itinerary
• Packing: start a week in advance by using a list (always including a pair of pants, sturdy shoes, and a swimsuit); do laundry at least once on the trip; let older kids bring a backpack (one carry-on); minimize equipment
• Disciplining in public: remember kids have tantrums at home or abroad; welcome the kindness and help of strangers; don’t shame others

QUOTES FROM JAIN

• “As parents, we experience life again through the eyes of our children. Sometimes that may involve ghastly moments, but I have found that…more often, we get to relive the highlights.”
• “Travel exposes kids to so many intangible benefits—seeing and trying new things, expanding their perspective, learning compassion, and experiencing different cultures.”
• “Yes, sometimes there are tantrums and things don’t go according to plan…but, like raising kids, travel with them is rewarding. It is entertaining. It is memorable and awe-inspiring. I will take those occasional meltdowns for the opportunity to see my kids’ raw reactions….”
• “Not every baby likes to fly and not every kid will eat whatever they’re given. However, we find that when our kids get three essential things—sleep, food, and exercise—they tend to behave. Even while traveling.”
• “Pacifiers aren’t just the physical object a baby puts in her mouth to suckle. They are those things that soothe us, our comforts of home.”

BUY Passports and Pacifiers: Traveling the World, One Tantrum at a Time

RECOMMENDATIONS

Exciting news! Find Nonfiction4Life listed in the Top 30 Nonfiction Podcasts on Feedspot, a news and blog reader used by over 4.3 million users globally. Find all your favorite websites in one place.

For 25 Essential Tips for Traveling with Kids, look at the Momondo blog.

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SUMMARY

To be happy together, whether you’re starting a new relationship, weathering difficult times, or jump-starting a long-term marriage, Suzie and James Pawelski can help. Their book, Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts, isn’t the typical approach to romance. But this husband-and-wife research team has found how to ignite (or reignite) passion.

KEY POINTS

Together, the Pawelskis identify four key areas crucial to building and sustaining love over the long run:

1. Harmonious passion: remembering who we are as individuals and seeking out new adventures together that both enjoy
2. Positive emotions: feelings of joy, gratitude, and hope to help motivate couples to invest in each other’s well-being and engage in mutual care
3. Mindful savoring: the importance of actively and consciously valuing another and expressing this appreciation to nurture and enhance the relationship
4. Character strengths: why we need to define, find, and cultivate our individual potential and support our partner’s growth simultaneously

Happy Together is the first book to apply principles of positive psychology to create successful, satisfying bonds that last. It’s a roadmap for rewarding, long-lasting romance. Refreshingly upbeat, the Pawelskis encourage couples to focus on their strengths. In other words, rather than prescribe cures for failing relationships, they suggest exercises as simple as talking about each other’s strengths to build positive emotions.

From there, couples can further leverage strengths by planning dates that bring out the best in both partners. Another healthy exercise to lengthen and strengthen sweet moments of emotional closeness is slowing down to share your love story—the highs and the lows. Recounting how you’ve both conquered challenges and relished the good times can greatly increase your enjoyment of those experiences.

Of course, falling in love and even being in love doesn’t mean you will magically have your dream relationship. Rather, relationships improve over time when partners practice key skills and cultivate loving habits. The Pawelskis encourage us to practice these skills in our own “relationship gym” because all relationships need work.

BUY Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts by Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP and James O. Pawelski, Ph.D

RECOMMENDATIONS

Check out the Pawelskis’ website Build Happy Together, and spend 15 minutes with your loved one taking the VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

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SUMMARY

A Mother’s Grace: Healing the World One Woman at a Time, by Michelle Moore, includes a collection of inspiring stories of a dozen everyday women who have transformed grief, crisis, and tragedy into an extraordinary passion to lift, love, and heal others. Linking arms with these contributing authors, Moore has formed the award-winning nonprofit Mother’s Grace, a consortium of women-led agencies that stand at-the-ready to offer families in crisis both financial and emotional support. True to the mission of Mother’s Grace, they strive to become an answer to the prayers of women in acute situations. Inspired by memories of her own mother’s grace, Moore continues to lead what was once a grass-roots effort holding garage sales. Today, Mother’s Grace is a powerful, $6-million organization making the world a safer, more hopeful, and more empathetic place.

KEY QUESTIONS

What is grace?

• The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor, a disposition to benefit or serve another. 

How can you find your passion?

• Journaling
• Listening to yourself
• Taking one tiny step towards “that thing”

How can you help children learn to be giving?

• Start them young
• Include them in your own giving
• Encourage them to take leadership positions
• Involve them in adventure philanthropy

QUOTES FROM MOORE

• “You don’t have to set the world on fire to make a difference; if you go to your grave making a difference in one family’s life or one friend’s life, that’s something to be thankful for because that’s why…we’re put on this life.”
• “There is grace in this endeavor we call life…it’s a journey of love and light and we all need to constantly renew our appreciation for life.”
• “Each of the women in this book [is] a force to be reckoned with, a sterling example of resilience, and a beautiful, shining example of turning extreme loss and heartache into something positive, generous, and spiritually healthy.”

BUY A Mother's Grace: Healing the World, One Woman at a Time

RECOMMENDATIONS & RESOURCES
BUY Big Miracle

• Mother’s Grace - dedicated to the support of mothers and children who have endured life tragedies. By providing financial support and guidance, Mother’s Grace empowers these women to reach their goals of making a difference in their communities by helping others inflicted with similar circumstances.
• NotMYkid – a nonprofit organization that provides children and families with truly lifesaving programs, support, resources, and education with a mission to empower and educate youth, families, and communities with the knowledge and courage to identify and prevent negative youth behavior
• Eric’s House - a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing integrative grief care to people who have suddenly lost someone they love, with a specialization in suicide and substance-related losses
• For the Love of Conor - supports organizations that promote the prevention of substance abuse and promote positive life choices for youth and young adults
• TAPS – provides comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one

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