Normal Lies

Episode 78. This is a compilation of Linda’s most recent guest's answers to her finale questions:

• What’s the best piece of advice you received when you were younger?
• A lie you wish you discovered sooner?
• What’s the thing that makes you, you?
• What is one change you’d like to see in the world & one action, even a baby step, that we can take right now so we can move toward that change? 

In order of appearance, you’ll  hear from:
 Dr. Rehnuma Karim (Episode 66)
Mark Dulaney (Episode  67)
Dr. Carla Fowler (Episode 69 & Episode 70)
Valerie Dimino (Episode  71)
Jonathan Goehring (Episode 72)
Tanya Cole-Lesnick (Episode 73)
Jackie Goddard (Episode 74)

If you haven’t already, go to Normal-Lies.com to listen to their full episodes and find out how to contact them and follow them on social media .

What about you? How would you respond?

Linda also shares a review from one of her listeners. 

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  

Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air as she did in this episode.  Who knows, she may choose yours!

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message. Or, click on the microphone icon at the bottom right of the page to leave a voicemail. 

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 77.  Prithvi Madhukar is known as The Marketing Nomad. Prit is the CEO of The Marketing Nomad LLC, a global Marketing Consultancy Firm in Delaware that, as of this year, has helped sixty-plus clients from eight different countries. Her podcast, The Marketing Nomad, is ranked in the top 100 in Marketing in India, and in the Top 10% Globally. 

Prit empowers business owners to confidently implement long-term marketing strategies to grow the business they love.  She is a digital entrepreneur and business owner with a passion for marketing and a zest for life. 

In this conversation, Prit shares how she found her passion and why she urges all of us to find and follow our passion. 

• “…in that moment I made a small promise to myself that I would never, ever take my passion for marketing for granted, and I would make sure that I see it through, whatever it is. I'm going to make sure that I allow the passion to let me see my life and see where it can take me…”

• “…your passion is not something that you find. It's not something that you wake up one day and it magically appears at your doorstep. I don't believe that. I believe that your passion is something that has been cultivated over years and years and years, and it's so powerful that sometimes you may not even recognize it as passion.”

• “…one thing about passion is it comes as quickly as it goes because it very quickly leads to burnout. We are so used to doing what we love, that we don't even recognize when the burnout seeps in.  And your passion is, I would personally say this (as) I've not seen any studies out there, but I think that your passion is directly proportional to the burnout that you will face. Because you just get so deep into it, you don't realize it, and then the crash is absolutely devastating. So it's important for you to learn how to sustain that passion long term…”

To contact Prit, find her podcast, get a copy of her book and learn more about her work, go to TheMarketingNomad.co.

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 76.   “… white supremacy mythology is so deeply embedded in the US culture… meaning images and stories on television and other places, and it's slippery and it's insidious and it's persistent.”

Jill Nagle is an author, coach, facilitator, and founder of Evolutionary Workplace. Her aim is to help reduce harm to Black and Brown people, as well as support white people in liberating themselves from the effects of white supremacy’s toxic mythology.

Change is hard and when faced with it, it’s human nature to ask, what’s in it for me?  Many white people are likely asking that question and are afraid that dismantling racism is going to cost them something. 

That’s exactly what Linda and Jill discuss:

• What is “white supremacy mythology?”
• How does blame, shame and guilt keep this mythology in place and, its effects on  ALL people? 
• Understand the first step in helping to combat racism. Hint: It’s all about us. 

Jill also tells a story about her Aunt Phyllis's antiracism work and how it influenced her to carry on her legacy.

Jill recently found  representation for her book, Skin in the Game: How White People Benefit from Dismantling White Supremacy. 

To contact Jill and learn more about her work, go to EvolutionaryWorkplace.com.

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 75.  “… if you're in a place where you know you need to make changes, if you're suffering, it's okay. The way to get through all of this, the way to get to what you actually want, is love and acceptance for all of you.”

Luz Flores Lee coaches and trains individuals and teams around the one consistent challenge for all, change. Instead of ignoring the changes within and around us, Luz believes we must face it head-on and create adaptable systems that will grow with us so, she guides teams through a creative and healing process with love, compassion, and fun. As a result, they create sustainable improvements in our constantly changing world.

Linda and Luz not only talk about change and how she incorporates her love of dancing into her coaching, but Linda explains why Luz is an important and pivotal person in her journey to becoming a coach. 

• “Nothing is forever. We know this, but our brains don't always tell us that. We think, Oh my gosh, if I do this, I have to commit forever.  I'm a professor and I have lots of students and I have my kids, and they're like, Oh, but should I commit to this? I'm like, Commit to it, now. Decide if that's something you want to try. Everything we're doing is trying . There is no linear path. You do not have to check boxes and do this thing forever, but if it's something you think resonates, do it. Try it. Do it for a day, a week, month, years, whatever works for you in service of the vision and the goals that you have.”
• “I'm not as angry and reactive when someone makes a mistake or does something that's not healthy, I don't jump on them anymore because I'm not jumping on myself anymore. And my whole world opened up, my relationships opened up my, connections with people. My connections with myself are in a completely different place now.”
• “My entire worth was always attached to productivity. There's always attached to what you can do for others and how others felt around you. Versus how I felt like my needs never existed and I'm learning now to actually even consider them.”
•  “I'm used to giving from me.  Instead, I keep my cup full, I give away from the overflow. And how much more powerful is that if I'm not giving you, what is taking away from me. I am giving you from abundance.”

To contact Luz or learn more about her coaching services go to LovingAllofYou.com 

To register for her workshop, go to Thriving in Change on Eventbrite.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/thriving-in-change-tickets-396194246657

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 74. “…hopefully people will realize that there's nothing wrong with a bit of showing off and it's not showing off. It's just being confident…”

Jackie Goddard has spent 30 years working in the arts. She’s been a High Street fashion designer and worked in the costume department of the Royal Shakespeare Company,  She’s been an actor, producer and director for the London and Edinburgh fringe and has spent the last 20 years working with adults and children, teaching them how to act and use their voice effectively.

With Jackie’s company, Power To Speak, she uses her acting experience and training to coach business leaders, solopreneurs and professional speakers to use their voice and their story to show up confidently for their audience, customers and clients.

Jackie shares her experience helping others gain confidence and success by becoming who they are through owning their story:

• “…this feeling that actually if you are showing up as yourself, then you are being seen as a show off or being arrogant. And actually what that does is that keeps people very small because they're frightened of showing up as themselves. And so we hide, we hide behind the character we think we should be. So we play rather than actually being…”
•  “… that is really important what you have there, that knowledge you have, that that message you want to share is really important. As your audience, you are telling me this and I'm listening.  As an audience, I can tell you that this is worth sharing.”
• “Doesn't matter how successful you are. I mean I've worked with CFOs of some very big companies and even they have a certain amount of imposter syndrome. So I don't think anybody escapes that. There's always that little voice in our heads.” 

You can reach Jackie through her website, PowerToSpeak.co.uk or connect with Jackie on LinkedIn.

Find Power To Speak on YouTube or Apple Podcast. 

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 73.   “… to me, the secret to a life that is satisfying and has peace and happiness in it, is learning how to connect to yourself.”

Tanya Cole-Lesnick has been a psychotherapist (licensed clinical social worker) and coach since 1995. She received her master’s degree in social work from New York University after group therapy changed her life. 

 Tanya helps clients access and honor their truth,  change habits that don’t serve them, and heal faulty narratives so that they begin living in alignment inside and out. Her work revolves around a combination of intimate therapeutic groups and individual sessions, as the sharing of inner worlds and being human together in a safe space—collectively and individually—is an incredibly powerful combination that leads to lasting transformation.

In this episode, Tanya shares:

•  “… connecting to other people on their inner journeys and having the support from the therapist helped me connect to myself, discover who I was. I went into that experience feeling very flawed, and I think through the process I realized, “Oh, I'm not flawed. I'm just human.”

•  “… at the core, is the figuring out what your truth is, what that means. It's a complicated question, but as people start to identify that and connect to that part of themselves, I just see lives unfolding where people feel more peaceful, more joyful, and have more meaning in their lives when they're able to do that.”

• “… One of the things that I've had to unlearn is people pleasing tendencies, and I think that came out of this feeling of I have to be a certain way in order to be loved, in order to not be abandoned.  And,  there was a period of time when I felt like, okay, I've gotta show up a certain way.  Which first of all, is exhausting. And second of all, led to other things like, I wasn't honoring myself. I wasn't checking in with myself first. I might have been saying “yes” to other people before deciding whether it was something I wanted to say yes to. "

You can learn more about Tanya and, schedule a a complimentary Discovery session at  GroupWithTanya.com or  TanyaCole-Lesnick.com. 

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 72.  “Things are not the way they used to be. And a lot of times when people who will criticize the younger generation will say that we are soft, that we don't work hard.  They're thinking of what hard work was like for them when they were our age.”

Jon Goehring is a voiceover artist and audio producer specializing in creating radio commercials and imaging, narrating audiobooks, and bringing brands to life through sound. 

Jon is a Rochester native and holds a Masters Degree in Media Management from The Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. 

He’s also 23 years old, newly married and a proud member of Gen Z. 

Jon and Linda explore the myths and stereotypes of the generations, specifically Baby Boomers, Millennials and Gen Z.

Some wisdom from Jon:

“… (Baby Boomers) are thinking of manual labor, which certainly is still important and very relevant and even in our society today, but they're thinking of factories and the types of work that they did back then. And certainly there is that work available today. But at the same time, so much of our work has been automated.”

“Innovation is what really provides value in our market. And that's what a lot of us Gen Zers have is that innovation.  And then, that courage to relentlessly push that innovation until we do make something better.”

“The whole phrase of “If you find something you love, you won't work a day in your life.”  I think the concept behind that has driven us to realize that there's gotta be something more. And maybe we don't have to be miserable at work.”

“… cumulative innovation to me is like passing on a basketball court. Okay, I don't have a shot here, but I'll pass to an open teammate. It's more of learn from what isn't going right, or is just a little bit off. Perfect that so that you can shoot and score this time. And I think that's why we've been so afraid in the past of failure and we still are in some cases."

You can learn more about Jon at JonathanGoehring.com

Connect with Jon on Linked In

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 71. *This episode deals with the subject of child sexual abuse, listener discretion is advised.*

Valerie Dimino joins Linda to talk about her experience coauthoring the memoir, The Man Behind the Curtain, her debut book.

From the back of the book:

"Jessica Renee was 11 years old when her stepfather began routinely raping and sexually assaulting her. Only when she was 15 and her boyfriend asked the right questions did the truth come to light—a terrible truth that her mother chose not to believe. Backed by a church community that believed a woman's duty was to support her husband above all else, Jessica's mother and countless other family and friends turned against her, labeling her a sinner even as her rapist was convicted.

Throughout the long road to that conviction, Jessica often felt she didn't have a voice, as she was continually questioned, criticized, and cast aside. She is ready to make her voice heard now and provide a guiding light for those who are still searching for hope."

Valerie  Dimino holds her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in creative writing and has 14 years of professional writing, editing, and marketing experience in the fields of higher education, performing arts, and medical informatics. 
 
This story, even though difficult,  must be brought out into the open. As a child, Jessica’s life was stolen from her without her permission. 

In this conversation, Valerie and Linda discuss how she walked  alongside Jessica, using words to bring a light to an impossible story that will leave you angry, frustrated, uncomfortable as well as riveted and hopeful.

 Listeners need to know about the invaluable support that Jessica received from an organization called 'Bikers Against Child Abuse.' Their support was so key to helping Jessica that we wanted to be sure they were highlighted.  You can learn more about this amazing organization at bacaworld.org. 

Follow Valerie on Linked In, Twitter and Instagram.
If you know or suspect a child is being abused, you can contact:

Childhelp®
Phone: 800.4.A.CHILD (800.422.4453)
People They Help: Child abuse victims, parents, concerned individuals
In cases of child sexual abuse, contact:

Darkness to Light
Phone: 866.FOR.LIGHT (866.367.5444)
People They Help: Children and adults needing local information or resources about sexual abuse

In cases of Rape/Incest, contact:

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN)
Phone: 800.656.HOPE (800.656.4673)
People They Help: Rape and incest victims, media, policymakers, concerned individuals

From Child Welfare Information Gateway

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 70.   “I think that our sense of happiness and how we feel about things, is both something we can influence through our perspectives, but I also think it is related to,  “Are we spending time on things that most matter to us?” and, “Are we clear on what does most matter to us?”

In episode 69, Linda spoke with Dr. Carla Fowler, an MD PhD and elite executive coach. For the last decade, Carla has been a secret weapon for scores of CEOs, entrepreneurs, and other senior leaders. Her unique approach combines the latest research from performance science with timeless best practices to help top performers level up and achieve their goals.

In this episode, Dr. Fowler and Linda continue their conversation with how our feelings impact our goals. They also talk about Linda’s struggle with creating a future vision which leads into a conversation about being with the uncertainty that often shows up as we pursue our goals. Plus, Dr. Fowler discusses the question, should we play to our strengths or try and strengthen our weaknesses? And, how having a growth mindset plays into it. 

Dr. Fowler has graciously gifted listeners with a free download, The 8 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Choosing a Coach (and how to avoid them!). 

Be sure to connect with Dr. Fowler:  Linked In and Twitter 

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  She may choose yours next month!

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message. Or, click on the microphone icon at the bottom right of the page to leave a voicemail. 

To set up a coaching consultation with Linda, scroll to the bottom of the homepage on Normal-Lies.com to find a link to her calendar. Just click the link and schedule some time to talk about what’s sabotaging you. 

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.

Episode 69.  “I think goals are a useful tool, but like any tool you have to decide where is the appropriate place to deploy them and and how are they serving you?”

Dr. Carla Fowler is an MD PhD and elite executive coach. For the last decade, Carla has been a secret weapon for scores of CEOs, entrepreneurs, and other senior leaders. Her unique approach combines the latest research from performance science with timeless best practices to help top performers level up and achieve their goals.

In part one of their conversation, Dr. Fowler shares:

- “I often like to look at a goal rather than saying, "Oh, this is a mark I must meet, or I'm going to feel bad about myself.” To say,  this is a challenge I'm setting out for myself. I am going to try to meet it, but the point of the exercise is what am I learning trying to get there?”

- “… performance discounting is where you look at all the stuff you accomplished yesterday or maybe over the past year and you're like, “Yeah, that was fine. That was great. But I haven't done anything yet today.What about next year?”  You basically have taken all that effort and the things that felt like big accomplishments, and WERE big accomplishments, and you just discount the heck outta them.”

- “ … one of the fundamental principles of performance that I work with people on is this idea of brutal focus because I believe that, the gains and results they're gonna produce in the future are more likely going to come from simplifying and from making more potent what they choose to do versus saying “I gotta work harder and I gotta put more stuff on my plate.”

 - “This idea that we can just go from goal to goal to goal and always have a hundred percent surety about what the next goal should be, I think is kind of a fallacy.”


- “When we can run some experiments and actually say, "How does this (goal) make me feel? Is this goal bringing out better effort from me? Is it keeping me focused and on track more? Has it made it clear what are the small steps I need to do every day consistently to keep moving in the direction that I want?”  Those things can be really powerful about goals.”

Dr. Fowler has graciously gifted listeners with a free download, The 8 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Choosing a Coach (and how to avoid them!). 

Be sure to connect with Dr. Fowler on  Linked In and Twitter

What came up for you as a result of this conversation?  Let Linda know by going to Normal-Lies.com and leave a review.  

Linda reads every one and every month, she chooses one review to read on air.  Who knows, she may choose yours!

If you have a question or a topic you'd like addressed on an upcoming episode, go to Normal-Lies.com and click the contact page to send Linda a message. Or, click on the microphone icon at the bottom right of the page to leave a voicemail. 

Set up a coaching consultation with Linda.

Be sure to follow Linda on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Linked In.