Have you ever walked away from an argument and replayed it for hours? Thinking about what you should've said, wondering how they could possibly not understand you, or waiting for them to make things okay?

Sometimes the argument is over, but something in you still doesn’t feel resolved.

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, I’m talking about what happens during and after disagreements when you don’t feel heard or understood. Why do we explain more, get louder, cry, get angry, shut down, or apologize just to make it end? Why is it so hard to move on afterward?

We’ll explore how conflict can bring us back to younger versions of ourselves when a disagreement touches old experiences of not being heard, believed, or allowed to have feelings and needs.

I also share a personal story about realizing an adult disagreement had taken me emotionally back to about 4 years old, and how I gave that younger part of myself the repair I wasn’t getting from the other person.

There’s a difference between wanting someone to understand you and needing them to understand you before you can feel okay.

An argument ending is not the same thing as an argument being repaired.

If certain disagreements stay with you long after they’re over, this episode helps you understand what you’re actually waiting for and where that need began.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
01:53 When the fight becomes about being heard
02:11 Wanting vs. needing someone to understand you
03:22 Why we revert to younger ages during conflict
04:16 My experience of becoming my 4-year-old self
07:12 How to recognize the age you revert to
10:21 Overexplaining, shutting down, and replaying arguments
13:01 When your inner child is waiting for repair
17:42 Ending an argument vs. repairing it
18:09 When the other person won’t repair with you
19:37 Learning to validate your own experience
20:34 How to recognize this in your own conflicts

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:


▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff


📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist


🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist


📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox 

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why can you still remember the name of the kid who bullied you, what they said, and exactly how they made you feel, even decades later?

Childhood bullying doesn’t always stay in childhood. The comments about your appearance, the names you were called, or the ways you were made to feel different can become part of how you see yourself long after the bullying stops. Eventually, their voice can become part of your own inner critic.

In this episode, I’m talking about how childhood bullying can follow us into adulthood, how another child’s words can become beliefs about who we are, and why we may still carry those messages 20, 30, or 40 years later.

I also share my own experiences with bullying and how being made fun of for my appearance affected my self-image well into adulthood. Then I take this conversation somewhere you may not expect and look at childhood bullying from a very different perspective.

What if some of what you learned to believe about yourself was never really about you?

We’ll talk about childhood bullying, the inner critic, self-image, feeling not good enough, why children bully, and what healing can look like without excusing what happened or requiring you to forgive the person who hurt you.

By the end, I want you to ask yourself one question:

What did someone who bullied me teach me to believe about myself, and do I still believe it today?

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Childhood Bullying and Memory

01:21 Understanding Why Bullies Act Out

03:04 The Role of External Voices in Inner Critic Formation

03:27 Healing and Loving Your True Self

04:27 Connecting Bullying to Not Good Enough Feelings

05:23 The Influence of Childhood Environment

06:00 The Importance of Context in Behavior

06:38 Reflecting on Personal Bullying and Its Roots

07:29 The Power of Understanding and Compassion

08:20 Healing and Moving Forward

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why does speaking up feel so uncomfortable, even when you know you have every right to say what you think?

Maybe you soften your opinions before you say them. You over-explain your boundaries. You worry that disagreeing makes you difficult. Or you finally speak up, then replay the conversation for hours afterward.

What if that fear didn't begin in adulthood?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, licensed professional counselor Mary Beth Fox explores the childhood roots of self-silencing and how early messages about being nice, polite, agreeable, and respectful can shape people-pleasing, boundaries, conflict avoidance, self-doubt, and the fear of speaking up later in life.

We tell people to “find their voice” and stand up for themselves. But there's a question we don't ask nearly enough:

What did speaking up once cost you?

Maybe the question isn't why you're afraid to use your voice.

Maybe it's where you learned to be afraid of it.

00:00 Introduction: The societal view of women's voices

01:05 How girls are taught to be polite and agreeable

02:51 The roots of self-doubt and silence in women

04:35 Internalized beliefs about being liked and accepted

06:36 The tree metaphor: roots and branches of beliefs

08:19 The double bind: confidence versus politeness

10:00 Respect versus obedience in communication

11:35 Questioning the rules learned about having a voice

12:54 Reflecting on personal beliefs and empowering change

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why does it feel like no matter how much you accomplish, it is never enough?

You finish one thing and immediately think about what comes next. You sit down to rest and feel guilty about everything you should be doing instead. You look at other people and somehow it seems like they are managing their careers, homes, families, friendships, health, and lives better than you are.

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, Mary Beth Fox explores why productivity can become tangled up with self-worth and why accomplishing more rarely makes that “not enough” feeling disappear for very long.

We talk about where the pressure to constantly achieve can begin, how childhood messages about success, responsibility, mistakes, and rest can follow us into adulthood, and why comparing our real lives to the “fairy tale” lives we imagine other people have keeps us feeling perpetually behind.

This episode is not about giving up ambition or your goals. It is about asking a much harder question: Can you stop? Can you leave something unfinished and still believe you did enough today?

You’ll also hear why your life cannot keep waiting until the to-do list is finished, why unfinished tasks are not proof that you are failing, and what you may be missing while trying to become the person you think you are supposed to be.

What are you missing in your actual life while trying to prove that you are doing enough?

End of description:

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why does it hurt so much when someone doesn’t like you, even when you know not everyone is going to?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, Mary Beth Fox explores why rejection can feel so personal and how childhood messages about being nice, agreeable, and liked can teach us to believe that someone else’s rejection means there is something wrong with us.

You’ll hear how fear of rejection can show up as replaying conversations, questioning what you did wrong, changing yourself to gain someone’s approval, or staying in friendships and relationships that no longer feel right because you’re afraid of hurting someone else.

We’ll also look at the other side of rejection: learning that you are allowed to decide someone isn’t right for your life, and other people are allowed to make that same decision about you.

Rejection can hurt. The goal isn’t to stop caring altogether. It’s learning to feel disappointed without turning someone else’s opinion or decision into evidence that you aren’t good enough.

In this episode:

• Why being disliked can feel like proof that something is wrong with you
• Childhood messages that teach us everyone should like us
• Why ambiguous behavior can trigger a rejection spiral
• How fear of rejection feeds people-pleasing and self-doubt
• Why you may stay in friendships or relationships you don’t actually want
• The difference between rejecting someone and deciding you aren’t a good fit
• How to experience rejection without making it mean you aren’t good enough

A question to sit with:
Can I be disappointed that someone doesn’t like me without making their opinion evidence that something is wrong with me?

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Have you ever gotten so angry over something small that even you were confused by your reaction? Or felt ashamed afterward and wondered, Why did I react like that?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, I explore what may be underneath that anger: sadness you learned to hide. If you grew up hearing “stop crying,” “you’re fine,” or that crying was weak, you may have learned to suppress sadness long before you understood what you were doing.

We’ll talk about how childhood messages about emotions can follow us into adulthood, why sadness can show up as anger, and how the cycle of exploding, feeling ashamed, and pushing your feelings back down can continue.

Instead of asking, “Why am I so angry?” what might change if you asked, “What might be underneath my anger that I never learned how to feel?”

Timestamps:

00:00 The Roots of Crying and Childhood Conditioning

06:57 The Consequences of Repressed Emotions

13:32 Redefining Strength: The Power of Vulnerability

20:25 Healing Through Understanding: The Impact of Childhood Lessons

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why do we listen to our inner critic, especially when it tells us we’re not good enough?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, I’m talking about where that critical voice actually comes from and why messages we learned from family, society, culture, and other people can eventually become so familiar that we mistake them for our own voice.

We’ll look at how other people’s unhealed Not Good Enough Stuff can become part of the way we see ourselves, why hearing something repeatedly doesn’t make it true, and how to begin questioning the negative messages you’ve carried for years.

The goal isn’t to eliminate your inner critic. It’s to understand where it came from, question whether what it’s telling you is actually true, and begin turning down its volume.

What is your inner critic telling you that you’re ready to start questioning?

New episodes of Not Good Enough Stuff every Tuesday.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to the inner critic and its importance

00:58 How family, society, and culture shape our inner critic

01:55 The roots of negative self-beliefs from childhood

03:09 The influence of unhealed, unhealthy people on our self-image

04:40 Why we continue to listen to unhelpful voices

07:05 The impact of repeated negative messages from others

11:14 Understanding the triggers and roots of inner critic messages

15:10 Questioning the truth of negative beliefs and compliments

18:03 Unlearning harmful messages from unhealed people

21:06 Recognizing and challenging the inner critic's influence

23:23 Practical steps to heal and diminish the inner critic

End of description:

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

What if the hardest things you've lived through aren't actually who you are?

Many of us unknowingly build our identity around trauma, chronic illness, childhood wounds, career roles, relationships, or accomplishments. Over time, those experiences become the lens through which we see ourselves.

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, I share how I made my car wreck, childhood experiences, and Ehler's Danlos Syndrome part of my identity and why healing required separating my story from who I truly am.

You'll learn why your worth has never depended on what you've survived, what you've achieved, or what you've lost.

If you've ever wondered who you are beneath the labels, diagnoses, trauma, or expectations, this episode is for you.

✔ Why we confuse experiences with identity
✔ How trauma, illness, and life roles become who we think we are
✔ Why your worth existed before anything happened to you
✔ The hidden connection between identity and Not Good Enough Stuff
✔ How to begin separating your story from your true self

00:00 Introduction

00:49 16 Years Since My Car Wreck

02:25 When Trauma Becomes Your Identity

04:10 Why Your Worth Existed Before Your Pain

05:35 How Not Good Enough Stuff Shapes Identity

07:20 Why We Attach Our Identity to Our Story

09:30 When Your Identity Disappears

11:20 Your Worth Was Never Earned

12:50 Who Are You Without Your Story?

15:05 Your Story Is Not Your Identity

16:55 Final Thoughts

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why don't you know what you need?

If identifying your needs feels impossible, the problem isn't that you're broken. It may be that you learned your needs didn't matter long before you were old enough to question that belief.

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, licensed professional counselor Mary Beth Fox explores how unmet childhood needs shape adulthood, why so many people become people-pleasers or hyper-independent, and how these early experiences become part of the Not Good Enough Stuff we mistake for who we are.

If you struggle with people-pleasing, hyper-independence, setting boundaries, understanding your emotional needs, or feeling like you're never enough, this episode will help you understand where those patterns began and how to start changing them.

• Why you struggle to identify your needs
• How childhood experiences shape your identity and relationships
• The hidden connection between people-pleasing and unmet emotional needs
• Why hyper-independence develops
• How to begin recognizing and expressing your needs

If you've ever thought:

"I don't know what I need."

"I feel guilty asking for help."

"I take care of everyone else before myself."

...this episode is for you.

🎁 Download your FREE Not Good Enough Stuff Guide:
https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

📖 Download your FREE Inner Child Workbook:
https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-inner-child-workbook/

🌿 Learn more:
https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com

If this episode helped you see yourself differently, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Remember, you are good enough. You always were and you always will be.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution: 

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: CDAA5GJA2635SEHS

Why do so many of us grow up believing we're not good enough?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, I explore how the messages we receive from our families, both spoken and unspoken, shape our beliefs about ourselves. Even well-meaning caregivers can unintentionally send messages that become part of our identity, influencing our self-worth, relationships, confidence, and the way we move through life.

You'll learn:
• How childhood messages become lifelong beliefs
• Why your inner voice often reflects messages from your past
• The difference between who you truly are and what you learned to believe about yourself
• Why awareness is the first step toward lasting change

If you've ever found yourself asking, "Where did I learn to believe this about myself?" this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

00:00 The Impact of Family Messages on Self-Perception

05:32 Understanding Achievement and Worth

12:13 Exploring Emotions and Relationships

20:24 Identity, Appearance, and Safety

21:30 Money Mindset and Self-Worth

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.