Not Well

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This episode was a whirlwind of chaotic energy fueled by cold brew, deep thoughts on dicks, and unsolicited introspection. Bobby and Jim discuss everything from waking up at ungodly hours, Botox touch-ups, and the undeniable power of bulge bands. There’s talk of mysterious Irishmen, deep-seated bisexuality panic, and how Gen Z is dismantling the big dick industrial complex. The boys take a detour into a philosophical breakdown of averages (which nearly breaks Bobby’s brain), get deep into Trump voters realizing they’ve been conned, and unpack why someone always has a bottle of lube at the ready.

Somewhere along the way, Jim relives his DC trauma of watching Beaches next to a grieving classmate, Bobby gets manhandled in a Chicago bar bathroom, and they both theorize that being blind might make sex infinitely better. Also, a local takedown segment hilariously roasts a couple with too much sniffies exposure, and they contemplate why straight frat guys invented butt chugging. It all ends with Bobby questioning if he should go into politics and a serious, yet unserious, conversation about how tech bros like Elon Musk are destroying the world.

Most Inappropriate Moments

1. The boy pussy moan during straight sex.
2. A man being “helped” to pee by an overly supportive stranger.
3. A deep discussion about how straight frat boys invented butt chugging.
4. The full forensic analysis of dried cum stains on various clothing items.
5. Monkeypox paranoia spiraling into full-body checks.
6. A local couple exposed for their public sniffies profiles.
7. The realization that half of men have a dick under 5.5 inches.
8. A therapy session gaslighting a man into believing he isn’t sick.
9. Someone carrying pre-lubed pockets “just in case.”
10. The math breakdown of how dick size averages really work.
11. Frat boys nervously explaining why butt chugging isn’t gay.
12. A man getting Botox while wearing a suspiciously stained hoodie.
13. Straight men admitting they’ve thought about the other side.
14. Airport passengers losing their minds over flight delays.
15. A guy jerking off in a car with emergency lube on standby.

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The episode begins with a chaotic, rapid-fire discussion on current events, conspiracy theories, and pop culture, blending humor, absurdity, and deep frustration over political affairs. The hosts open with an explosive claim that the federal government is experiencing a private takeover under the guise of reform, referencing missing CDC datasets and security concerns with high-ranking officials using Gmail.

The conversation pivots into political absurdities, touching on right-wing rhetoric and congressional moments, including a rant on trans rights and Republican politicians' hypocrisy. They mock a certain congresswoman for her performative outrage while criticizing the collective ugliness of some far-right figures. The discussion naturally evolves into admiration for Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett, who they argue should be president despite the societal barriers preventing a Black woman from holding the office.

The episode takes a detour into pop culture, touching on the Grammys, Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter, and the state of music today. They make an unexpected but passionate argument about the phenomenon of “hot dicks on ugly faces,” an epidemic they claim is taking over dating apps. This leads to reflections on their own perceived attractiveness, aging, and the existential crisis of being labeled a "daddy" by younger men.

They also dive into their personal experiences, discussing their trip to Mexico, the joy of embracing one's desires without guilt, and the realization that Columbus, Ohio, isn't much different from Kentucky or other smaller towns. They reflect on how people irrationally judge other places while defending their own.

Later in the episode, they discuss the surreal and pervasive nature of pharmaceutical advertisements, reminiscing about their childhood obsession with trans fats and the moment of victory when they were officially banned. They also introduce the concept of The Hill, a metaphor for a higher state of consciousness that allows for telepathic communication, particularly with animals. One of the hosts recounts an eerie moment when their dog seemingly responded to unspoken thoughts, reinforcing their belief in an untapped human ability.

As the episode nears its end, they discuss eye exams, the stress of negotiating for a new car, and the importance of controlling the few things within one’s power. The conversation, like the rest of the episode, swings wildly between humor, personal anecdotes, conspiracy theories, and existential musings.

Ultimately, the episode encapsulates the signature blend of Not Well—a mix of gay comedy, sharp political critique, deep internet dives, and unfiltered chaos, all while maintaining an undercurrent of existential dread and dark humor.

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This chaotic episode covers everything from personal health woes to existential dread, with plenty of political rants and inappropriate humor in between. The hosts, overtired and slightly sick, spiral through absurd conversations about bodily functions, credit scores, and the downfall of America.

Main Topics Discussed:

• Energy Struggles & Gum Chewing – Trying to wake up, chewing gum aggressively for theanine, and realizing they're out of shape.
• Bloating & Puffy Nipples – Overeating salt-heavy ham leads to a discussion about gynecomastia and occasional nipple discharge.
• Asian Cuisine & Travel Biases – One host refuses to visit Asia, fearing unfamiliar food, while the other argues most of their favorite dishes are Asian.
• Credit Card Fraud & Financial Struggles – A story of identity theft, fraudulent Best Buy purchases, and how to manipulate credit scores.
• Homeownership Woes – Dealing with PMI, appraisals, and the realization that paying off a house takes forever.
• Elon Musk & Political Corruption – Discussing Musk’s alleged Nazi salute, billionaire control, and Trump's repeal of executive orders harming LGBTQ+ rights, healthcare, and worker safety.
• Casual Workplace Racism & Replacement Theory – A co-worker complains that white people will be the minority by 2040, exposing deep-seated racism in everyday conversations.
• Violent Stomach Flu & Near-Death Experience – Vomiting bile, sweating through clothes, nearly passing out, and justifying eating a tortilla after losing nine pounds.
• Existential Dread & Life Speeding By – A marijuana-induced panic about how life is just a slow march toward death.
• Ireland Trip & Uncut Dicks – Excitement about visiting ancestral roots but mild hesitation over uncut men.
• Car Leases & Consumerism – Debating whether it’s worth paying $500/month for a car just to drive to work.
• AI Warfare & Military Future – How war is shifting toward drones while outdated physical fitness tests still exist.
• Capitalism is a Scam – Longing for a simpler, barter-based existence instead of corporate greed ruling everything.
• Traveling for Dick – Admitting that most travel decisions are based on the attractiveness of local men.

A mix of chaos, humor, and unfiltered opinions, this episode tackles everything from bodily fluids to the dystopian future of AI warfare—all with a healthy dose of existential dread.

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This episode of Not Well dives deep into chaotic and hilarious conversations ranging from Trumpism, trans rights, societal failings, crumbs, childhood fears, and a lot of irreverent humor. Bobby and Jim dissect the ridiculousness of patriotism displayed during inaugurations, the bizarre cult-like worship of certain political figures, and the ongoing culture war surrounding trans individuals. They reminisce about their childhood quirks, like Bobby’s fear of his parents turning into skeletons and his crumb phobia. The duo explores the hilarity and discomfort of booth seating, societal expectations, and even random moments like towel habits during sex. A surprising tangent about telepathy, autistic communication, and “The Hill” takes the episode into pseudo-scientific territory, leading to thought-provoking discussions about perception and reality. They end with discussions on representation in media and whether straight actors playing gay roles is truly authentic. It's unfiltered, chaotic, and thought-provoking.

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This episode dives into an eclectic mix of subjects ranging from lighthearted banter to deeper reflections on societal norms and historical narratives. The hosts begin with a discussion about hair loss and confidence, exploring the practical and emotional impacts of embracing baldness versus pursuing treatments like hair transplants. The conversation shifts to weather preferences, with humorous takes on the struggle between cold-blooded individuals who thrive in winter and those who prefer sweltering heat.

Childhood memories resurface as they reflect on past experiences in Cub Scouts and school, particularly moments that shaped their perspectives on self-expression and creativity. This segues into a broader conversation about parenting, emphasizing the importance of letting children explore their true interests without imposing adult expectations or societal norms.

The hosts delve into history, discussing pivotal moments like Viking raids in Ireland, the Boston Tea Party, and the migration of Neanderthals and early humans. These reflections are framed with humor and a sense of curiosity about how history has been shaped, rewritten, and taught. The discussion also touches on the complexities of societal brainwashing, from historical narratives to modern national security issues, critiquing how the U.S. government uses terms like “terrorism” to control public perception.

Cultural and genetic history becomes a central theme as they explore personal connections to Ireland, considering travel as a means of discovering identity and familial roots. The conversation incorporates reflections on how ancestry influences modern identity, with a humorous take on topics like Viking raids, Irish potato farming, and the genetic quirks of Neanderthals.

Food nostalgia makes an appearance with a longing for discontinued treats like Butterfinger BBs, sparking a larger commentary on the emotional connections people form with comfort foods. There’s also a whimsical exploration of social behaviors, from the excessive use of personal fans to the awkwardness of forced interactions, especially in nightlife or drug-induced settings.

Animals and their intelligence are discussed, with the hosts highlighting how humans often dismiss the innate abilities of animals, particularly their advanced sensory perceptions and emotional intelligence. This leads to reflections on societal attitudes toward intelligence, drawing parallels between historical perceptions of Neanderthals and current biases against certain groups or ideas.

The episode closes with heartfelt reflections on friendship, emphasizing the unique and irreplaceable bonds formed with close friends. The hosts consider how true friendship provides a sense of belonging and authenticity, contrasting it with superficial social interactions or fleeting acquaintances. This theme ties back to the idea of seeking meaningful experiences in life, whether through travel, personal growth, or connections with others.

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Guess who’s back? Back again. An old caller reemerges from the shadows, kicking off a wild and chaotic episode of Not Well. This week, the conversation dives into everything from holiday highs and lows to existential musings and absurd tangents that only Bobby and Jim can pull off.

The holidays take center stage as the duo unpacks the weirdness of gift-giving, the stress of unwrapping presents in front of an audience, and the sheer absurdity of obligatory workplace gift exchanges. There’s also a candid exploration of body image struggles, including a post-holiday battle with weight gain and self-perception, peppered with a bit of humor and self-deprecation.

The episode doesn’t hold back as the conversation veers into a discussion about evolving porn preferences, from fantasy-driven storylines to public settings and everything in between. This naturally leads into a reflection on queer spaces like The Eagle, where they share their appreciation for the raw, unapologetic energy of these establishments and lament the loss of that authenticity in some modern spaces.

Drag culture takes a turn under the spotlight, with sharp critiques about how mainstream attention has dulled the creative edge of drag performances. There’s a longing for more boundary-pushing art and a frustration with the predictability of certain performances. Despite the critiques, there’s still respect for drag as a vital part of queer expression and culture.

New Year’s Eve antics are recounted in vivid detail, including awkward party moments, over-the-top social interactions, and a bit of introspection about the exhausting nature of large gatherings. There’s a hilarious tangent about small talk and how draining it is, especially in high-energy social settings.

The episode is rounded out by a series of unfiltered rants, including one about restaurant service during the holidays and the oddly frustrating world of twist-tie trash bags. A vision of a world without buttholes becomes a centerpiece of one of the more absurd yet surprisingly profound tangents.

Finally, the episode wraps up with a critical take on RuPaul’s Drag Race and a promise to keep challenging norms while staying true to the chaotic, queer energy that defines Not Well.

This episode is an unfiltered, hilarious, and thought-provoking ride, filled with the trademark humor and raw honesty that listeners love.

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As always you can write us at [email protected] or call us at ‪(614) 721-5336‬ and tell us your Not Wells of the week 

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Chaos in the Cosmos (and on Earth)

In this wild episode of Not Well, Bobby and Jim dive headfirst into chaos, tackling their latest adventures, current events, and gay life with unfiltered humor. From Pig Week shenanigans to alien drones, the duo delivers an unpredictable mix of laughs and insights.

Florida Madness and Pig Week Revelations

The episode begins with Bobby recounting his recent Florida trip during the infamous Pig Week, where "anything goes." From slings to fisting, the duo spares no detail, mixing shock with hilarity. Bobby shares a disappointing hookup experience with a longtime crush, sparking a larger conversation about the gap between fantasy and reality. Meanwhile, Jim reflects on self-perception and the question, “Am I as hot as I think I am?”

Alien Drones and Galaxy Gas

The conversation shifts to UFOs and the mysterious alien drones reportedly emerging from the Atlantic Ocean. Bobby shares his own UFO sighting during a Spirit Airlines flight, dubbing the airline "the Aldi of the skies." Speculation runs wild, with theories ranging from drones targeting straight men to enhancing Pig Week with Galaxy Gas. The duo imagines Trump’s Space Force battling aliens at Pig Week, blending conspiracy theories with biting humor.

Luigi Mangione and Healthcare Chaos

Luigi Mangione, the hammer-wielding "healthcare vigilante," becomes a focal point as the guys hilariously weave his story into the week’s absurdities. From battling alien drones to DJing at Pig Week, Mangione is reimagined as a folk hero for a chaotic world. Bobby and Jim critique corporate greed and the healthcare system, using Mangione’s larger-than-life persona as comic relief.

Life, Moles, and Mortality

Bobby and Jim briefly discuss viral "honor walks" for organ donors, balancing somber reflections with humor. They also explore their mutual phobia of moles, spiraling into a witty debate about turn-offs, attraction, and confidence in the gay community.

Looking Ahead

The episode ends with plans for an upcoming Chicago trip, promising new adventures. From Galaxy Gas experiments to EDM parties, Bobby and Jim leave listeners excited for the chaos to come. This unpredictable episode captures the essence of Not Well—raw, funny, and delightfully absurd.

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In this jam-packed episode of Not Well, Bobby and Jim take listeners on a chaotic journey of humor, personal confessions, and existential musings. They open with a candid review of a TikTok-famous gum, dive into hygiene debates, and meander through Thanksgiving drama, small-town parades, and philosophical reflections about their younger selves. From humorous rants about priests being suspiciously gay to theories about history being rewritten, the duo keeps it raw, relatable, and hilariously unfiltered. They end on a more reflective note, discussing what happens to their beloved dogs if tragedy strikes, all while navigating the challenges of painting vivid pictures of their lives.

Bulletpoint Topics

• The neuro-gum fiasco: a TikTok trend gone wrong
• Gym hygiene debates: to floss or not to floss
• Thanksgiving drama: vegetarian stuffing and MAGA-lite parades
• Priests and their "gay eyes"—Bobby's epiphany
• Bobby’s wine-drunk reflections on friendship and liberation
• Existential musings on past selves and life-changing decisions
• "Painting" mishaps: the messier side of gay sex
• Speculations about lost history and hidden conspiracies
• End-of-life questions: Who gets the dogs?
• The randomness of life: every decision leads here

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In this episode of Not Well, Bobby and Jim dive into a chaotic mix of current events, personal anecdotes, and sharp critiques of modern life. From calling out scams in corporate sales and wellness industries to discussing the absurdity of political figures like Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the duo spares no one. They unpack the ongoing struggles of LGBTQ+ spaces in Columbus, Ohio, reflecting on how the city has changed and why it might be time for new adventures.

The discussion veers into hilariously explicit territory as Bobby recounts a “prostate milking” experience, while Jim muses on straight weekend activities being unremarkable at best. Nazis in Columbus, drone sales jobs, and wellness culture scams receive sharp, unfiltered commentary. Bobby and Jim critique the rise of far-right ideologies, touching on their impact on LGBTQ+ communities and the broader political landscape. Through it all, the pair balance humor with insight, serving up their signature blend of gay comedy and biting satire.

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Quote of the week: " I am just trying to avoid anyone here who has been inside me" 

 In this unfiltered unhinged instant classic episode, Bobby and Jim kick things off by embracing a doomed mission: pretending to be straight bros. Spoiler alert—it’s hilarious and painfully bad. Their half-hearted attempt to discuss “smashing pussy” quickly devolves into a crisis of identity and nostalgia, sparking deep memories of hiding who they were and re-living past traumas, but with their signature humor and sass. From there, it’s a high-speed jump into the absurd, as they share unhinged rants about Aldi’s suspiciously moldy produce, America’s unhealthy obsession with trauma porn, and their recurring political nightmare—the state of democracy and anti-trans legislation.

Between deep dives into existential dread and biting humor, the duo talks about Roman bathhouse fantasies (because, of course), reminisces over pagers and the “texting” culture of yore, and dissects Stephen Hawking’s aesthetic choices with zero chill. Bobby laments how dogs ruin spontaneous trips with their bougie pet camp needs, while Jim recounts his IV therapy adventure after a wild night out. The pair bond over fat kid moments—like stuffing their faces with stuffed crust pizza and sneakily devouring McDonald’s double cheeseburgers before anyone notices. Sprinkle in wild, late-night escapades at AWOL’s jock night, and you’ve got one spicy, laugh-out-loud ride.

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