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Everyone is a narcissist these days… at least according to the internet.

But what does narcissism actually mean? And more importantly — how do you know if you’re dealing with it in real life?

In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down narcissism in a way that’s clear, grounded, and actually useful.

Kayla starts with the original story of Narcissus and Echo — a myth that surprisingly mirrors modern relationship dynamics — before unpacking what narcissism looks like today, what’s happening underneath the surface, and why the term gets thrown around so loosely.

We’ll cover:

•  What narcissism actually is (and why it exists on a spectrum) 
•  The difference between narcissistic traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
•  What’s happening under the surface — including insecurity, shame, and emotional avoidance
•  The different types of narcissism (grandiose, vulnerable, and communal) 
•  What narcissism is not (and why labeling everything as narcissism can be misleading) 
•  A better question to ask instead of “Are they a narcissist?” 

If you’ve ever questioned a relationship, felt unseen, or wondered if you’re dealing with narcissistic behavior, this episode will help you make sense of it — without jumping to labels.

Because at the end of the day:
 You don’t need a diagnosis to decide something isn’t healthy for you.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Tantrums are one of the most triggering parts of parenting… and if we’re being honest, sometimes it feels easier to just give in and make it stop.

In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re talking about what tantrums actually mean, why giving in backfires, and how well-meaning parents unintentionally reinforce entitled behavior without realizing it.

Because here’s the truth:
 It’s not about the tantrum — it’s about what your child learns from your response to it.

Kayla shares her own experience as a mom navigating meltdowns, the internal pull to “fix it,” and what it really takes to stay consistent when your child is losing it.

We’ll cover:

•  Why you should never give in during a tantrum (and what that teaches your child) 
•  The difference between validation and reinforcement
•  Why labeling behavior as “bad” can actually create more problems 
•  How to give your child structured choices without losing control 
•  What your role actually is in the middle of a meltdown 

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I know I shouldn’t give in… but I just want this to end,” this episode is for you.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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You’re overwhelmed.
 Your schedule is full.
 You’re already stretched thin…

…and somehow, you still say yes to more.

In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down why people overcommit when they’re already drowning — and why this isn’t actually a time management problem.

Using a real-life example (yes… including fostering puppies at the worst possible time), we dive into the deeper psychology behind overcommitment, people-pleasing, and the hidden belief that “I don’t matter.”

Because the truth is:
 You’re not doing too much because you’re capable.
 You’re doing too much because slowing down feels uncomfortable.

We’ll cover:

•  Why overcommitment is often emotional avoidance 
•  The link between overfunctioning and self-worth 
•  How staying busy protects you from deeper feelings 
•  The subtle ways you abandon yourself without realizing it 
•  One simple question to help you start choosing differently 

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why did I say yes to this?” — this episode is for you.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Do you go quiet during conflict?

Do you say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not?

Or do you suddenly feel overwhelmed and need to escape the conversation entirely?

In this episode, we’re breaking down why people emotionally shut down in arguments — and what’s actually happening in your nervous system when conflict feels like too much.

We’ll talk about:

• What shutting down feels like internally vs. how it feels to your partner
• The psychology of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in relationships
• Diffuse physiological arousal (and why your thinking brain goes offline during conflict)
• Why stonewalling and emotional withdrawal trigger abandonment fears
• How to take space during an argument without damaging the relationship

You’ll also learn about the 20–22 minute nervous system reset and how to walk away from conflict in a way that creates safety instead of insecurity.

Because shutting down isn’t immaturity — it’s often dysregulation.

But how you handle it determines whether your relationship deepens or deteriorates.

If you’re navigating conflict in your 20s, 30s, or 40s and want healthier, calmer communication — this one’s for you.

Send it to the person who either shuts down… or chases when their partner shuts down.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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You don’t think you’re a perfectionist.
 You just “have high standards.”

You care. You’re driven. You like things done right.

So why are you exhausted?

In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of perfectionism — what it actually is, why it develops, and how it quietly fuels anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and relationship strain.

Perfectionism isn’t about excellence. It’s about fear.

We’ll explore:

• The difference between healthy ambition and fear-based performance
• How perfectionism is linked to shame and conditional self-worth
• Why high-achieving adults struggle to feel satisfied
• How perfectionism shows up in careers, parenting, and relationships
• Why “doing your best” often feels like never enough

You’ll also learn a therapist-backed approach to loosening perfectionism without lowering your competence — including how to identify the fear underneath the standard and regulate the nervous system instead of overworking.

Because you don’t need to earn your worth every single day.

If you’re navigating adulthood, identity shifts, and relationships without wanting to burn out in the process — this episode is for you.

Send it to the friend who calls their anxiety “high standards.”

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Why do emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic?

Why does the hot-and-cold person spark chemistry… while the consistent, emotionally available one feels “boring”?

If you keep finding yourself attracted to partners who pull away, avoid vulnerability, or struggle with emotional intimacy — this episode is for you.

Today we’re breaking down the psychology behind attraction patterns, attachment styles, and why your nervous system can confuse anxiety with chemistry.

We’ll talk about:

• What “emotionally unavailable” actually means
• Why inconsistency creates emotional intensity
• The difference between activation and compatibility
• How attachment patterns influence who you’re drawn to
• Why calm can feel unfamiliar (and even unsafe)
• The hidden payoff of chasing unavailable partners

You’re not choosing these dynamics because you’re irrational.

You’re choosing what feels familiar.

And familiar isn’t always healthy.

If you’re navigating dating, long-term relationships, or identity shifts in your 20s, 30s, or 40s — and wondering why you keep ending up with the same type — this episode will give you clarity without shame.

Send it to the friend who says, “Why do I always attract emotionally unavailable people?”

And if you’re ready to build relationships that feel safe instead of chaotic — you’re in the right place.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Do you replay conversations before bed?
 Rewrite texts multiple times before sending?
 Second-guess decisions long after they’re made?

You’re not alone — and you’re not “just anxious.”

In this episode, we’re breaking down the psychology of overthinking and rumination, especially in high-functioning adults navigating careers, leadership, relationships, and big life decisions.

Overthinking isn’t insight. It’s anxiety trying to create certainty.

We’ll explore:

• Why your brain replays conversations and decisions
• The difference between thoughtful processing and rumination
• How fear of rejection, guilt, and responsibility fuel overthinking
• Why high-achieving adults overthink more
• How to regulate your nervous system instead of mentally looping

This episode also dives into how guilt and identity show up in leadership and decision-making — and why discomfort doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

If you’re tired of living in mental replays and ready to feel calmer in your choices, this one’s for you.

Send it to the friend who rewrites every text before hitting send.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Do you ever stare at a task for 30 minutes… and still can’t start?

In this ADHD Toolbox episode, I’m walking you through a simple, practical strategy you can use immediately when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen: The Ladder Method.

If you struggle with ADHD paralysis, procrastination, executive dysfunction, or perfectionism, this tool will help you lower the activation energy required to begin. Because here’s the truth: ADHD is not a motivation problem — it’s a task initiation problem.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why ADHD brains struggle with starting tasks
• What’s actually happening during procrastination
• How to break big goals into tiny, manageable steps
• How to use the 10-minute container to build momentum
• How to quiet the shame spiral that often comes with executive dysfunction

This is not a lecture. It’s a guided intervention. I’ll walk you through the exercise in real time so you can apply it to something you’ve been avoiding today.

Whether you’re a high-achieving professional, an overwhelmed mom, or someone who “knows what to do” but can’t seem to do it — this episode gives you a concrete tool to move forward.

Because you’re not lazy.
 Your brain just needs a different entry point.

If you found this helpful, share it with someone who needs an ADHD reset.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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n this episode, we break down what really works when it comes to ADHD treatment — and why it’s not about fixing your personality or forcing yourself to “try harder.”

You’ll learn:

• The surprising story of how ADHD medication was discovered (it was accidental)
• Why stimulants calm the ADHD brain instead of hyping it up
• The difference between stimulant and non-stimulant medications — and how they work differently in the brain
• Why ADHD medication has one of the strongest research track records in psychiatry
• What medication can help with — and what it absolutely cannot do
• How therapy supports executive functioning, emotional regulation, and shame repair
• Practical executive function tools that actually move the needle

We’ll also talk about why so many high-achieving women were overlooked in childhood — and why understanding your brain can be life-changing.

ADHD treatment isn’t about discipline.
 It’s about regulation.

And when regulation improves, everything else gets easier.

If you’ve been wondering what actually works for ADHD — this episode will give you clarity without the hype.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨

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Do you have anxiety… or ADHD… or both?

If you’ve ever felt constantly overwhelmed, distracted, restless, or stuck in procrastination — this episode is for you.

ADHD and anxiety can look almost identical from the outside. Trouble focusing. Racing thoughts. Avoidance. Irritability. Sleep issues. Chronic overwhelm.

But the why underneath is very different.

In this episode, we break down:

• Why ADHD and anxiety share so many symptoms
• The key neurological difference between executive dysfunction and threat response
• How avoidance driven by fear is different from avoidance driven by friction
• Why caffeine can calm someone with ADHD but spike someone with anxiety
• How high-achieving women and moms often get misdiagnosed
• What treatment paths look like for each

We’ll also talk about why ADHD and anxiety commonly overlap — and how years of untreated ADHD can actually create anxiety over time.

This is not about self-diagnosing.

It’s about understanding your brain well enough to stop calling yourself lazy, dramatic, or “too much.”

If you’ve been wondering what’s actually running the show in your nervous system, this episode will help you ask better questions.

This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤

Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?

Email me at [email protected]
or find me on social at @itskaylareilly. I genuinely love hearing what you’re navigating. ✨