Tell me something: after you've successfully stopped your stalker, do you go to work the next day? We know Sookie did. It's all work and never sit down process those traumas because the next one shows up. Family's staying over and betrayal hangs heavy in the air as Sookie figures out what do with all her wealth. You'll just have to tune in and see what happens!

Know that in my heart, I should be a good person. But whoever said that that was going to keep me alive? I figure Sookie must be thinking something along those lines. Because some would say plotting a murder is bad. Some would say avenging yours and your friend's lives by bashing your stalker's head in was unnecessary. Just wait until you have hitmen showing up to your job on a shift where you aren't getting any tips. Gotta find satisfaction somewhere. Tune in to the newest episode of our mysterious saga.

Never have a plot of land in your name; it's the perfect place to have your livelihood taken from you with a well-placed anonymous call about a hidden body buried somewhere. It's just another day of mystery solving and shenanigans for Sookie in Bon Temps. Tune in for the newest episode of our southern mysteries!

Sookie's living the dream that Mia Thermopolis got to experience: a royal family member from your dad's side of the family lets you know that you are royalty. Except, trade the makeover scene for a kidnapping horror show and you're basically experiencing the same storyline. Follow Sookie as she sinks further down in the supernatural in today's new episode.

We all remember where we were when a monarch was killed due to political unrest from a power vacuum. I was sitting with Sookie and her fairy godmother and sixth potential love interest when I heard Sophie-Anne wasn't ever going to walk again. Luckily, we made friends with a king and stopped him from being assassinated. All in a day's work, or 80-something minutes if you tune into tonight's episode. ;)

Don't ask me where Rhodes is, just know I won't be showing up. Crazy cults crashing conventions, queens secretly orchestrating callous cullings, and vampires crawling covertly causing mischief? If I wanted this much trouble, I'd just get another little brother. Tune in for another deadly episode.

I've always wanted to go to court; the balls and fancy outfits always intrigued me. Throw in a plot for murder and a handsome escort, and you can guarantee my RSVP. I'm now recognizing that Sookie has a lot in common with Cinderella: a fairy godmother, relatives who have passed away, and a vindictive family ready to destroy her at all costs. Sigh. Everybody's dream. Tune in for some males, murder, and mayhem in today's episode.

Sookie must be otherworldly because the amount of men and interest is supernatural. Sam, Bill, Eric, Calvin, Alcide; now Quinn?! If only we could be so lucky. But now some in the shifter community are being hunted down, and new leader must be installed if transition of power is to go smoothly. If only we had someone who could read minds to smooth out the conflict. Or stir up more trouble? You'll just have to tune in to find out.

I need all of us to agree that if we see a random man on the side of the road, running without shoes, we don't stop. Unfortunately, this man is Eric and the driver is Sookie, so there's no way that's happening. Witches have FINALLY made their presence known in this universe, and they're doing what girls do best: hexing their business rivals, sowing dissent amongst the poor, and putting up wanted posters for cash prizes. Tune into a magical event with this brand new episode!

We never really hear the stories about girlfriends saving their secretive vampire boyfriends by putting themselves in danger without a guarantee that things will work out. Sookie has only recently managed to fulfill Eric's request in Dallas, and now she's off to Jackson, Mississippi cause Bill decided to get Taken. At this point, Sookie should've been played by Liam Neeson. Could you imagine? Tune in for another episode of mystery and intrigue.

TW: brief mention of sexual assault/rape