Art Bell opens with an hour of open lines where callers weigh in on topics ranging from what should be done with Osama bin Laden to a striking ghost photograph from Indonesia posted on his website. The discussion touches on the ethics of human cloning, shadow people sightings, and fresh UFO reports of V-shaped craft spotted over Southern California and Palo Alto, complete with digital photographs from a listener in Oceanside.

In the second half, comedian and author Leland Gregory returns with his collection of outrageous real 911 emergency calls. Gregory reveals he was in the NBC makeup chair at 30 Rockefeller Center on September 11, eight minutes from appearing on the Today Show, when the first plane hit. He describes the chaos that followed and how his book promotion collapsed because its title contained "911." The pair listen to recordings including the legendary "Joe and the Deer" call and a woman who demands police put her cat to sleep, then spirals into a profanity-laden tirade against the dispatcher.

Gregory shares stories from his dumbest criminals research, including a suspect who identified his own robbery victim in a lineup and a burglar who showed up to court wearing the stolen suit. Art and Gregory discuss the importance of humor in difficult times and the underappreciated work of 911 dispatchers across the country.