Now That I'm Back

In this heartfelt final episode of 'Now That I'm Back,' host BJ reflects on the theme of necessary endings. She discusses the importance of recognizing when it's time to close a chapter, sharing insights from her own journey and the stories of transformation featured on the podcast over the past six months. BJ opens up about the emotional toll of hosting the show and the significance of endings as opportunities for new beginnings. While saying goodbye to the podcast, BJ emphasizes the lasting impact of the shared experiences and offers her gratitude to the listeners and guests who have made the journey meaningful. She also encourages those facing their own necessary endings to embrace them with courage and trust in the future.

IG & Threads: isp3ak_my_mynd

In this episode, host BJ discusses the misuse of therapy terms like 'toxic' and 'gaslighting' on the internet and dives into what truly constitutes a toxic relationship, emphasizing patterns of manipulation, intentional harm, and power dynamics. BJ critiques the current trend of using 'no contact' as a quick fix for minor conflicts and stresses the importance of communication and conflict resolution. The segment also includes a discussion on the movie 'The Best Man' and how friendships handled intense drama without falling apart. BJ concludes with practical strategies for evaluating whether a relationship needs work or should end, like the 'three conversation rule' and checking intentions. Listeners are encouraged to assess their relationships thoughtfully instead of making hasty decisions.

In this episode, host BJ returns from a November break to discuss emotional eating and her personal weight loss journey. After sharing her own story of losing 12 pounds through portion control and dietary changes, BJ explores how food became a coping mechanism during stressful periods, particularly following her divorce. She reflects on her relationship with food and how emotional distress influenced her eating habits. BJ also gives practical tips for healing one's relationship with food, including keeping a food and feelings journal, creating new food memories, and practicing mindful eating without judgment. The episode emphasizes self-love and understanding the emotional triggers behind eating habits.

In this heartfelt episode, host BJ shares candid reflections on a tough week, acknowledging the emotional challenges faced by many listeners. BJ emphasizes the importance of community, particularly the supportive 'sistering' among black women, and shares personal coping strategies. The episode highlights the necessity of protecting one's joy, taking care of oneself unapologetically, and finding strength in small acts of kindness and connection. Listeners are encouraged to reach out to loved ones, honor their feelings, and do something that would make their ancestors proud. BJ provides a message of solidarity and resilience, reminding listeners that their existence and joy are forms of resistance.

Let’s Unpack Desperation: Lenny Williams' Cause I Love You

In this heartfelt episode of 'Now That I'm Back,' host BJ presents a special full-length segment of 'Split Happens' to explore Lenny Williams' iconic song 'Cause I Love You.' BJ delves into the deep emotions of desperation and unwavering love expressed in the song, sharing personal anecdotes and analyzing the powerful lyrics. The episode touches on themes of love, loss, longing, and vulnerability, providing insights into Williams' raw emotional journey and its impact. BJ also reflects on their own experiences, connecting the audience through shared feelings of heartbreak and the struggle to let go. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their emotions as a healing process, understanding that love sometimes means letting go, and it's okay to feel everything deeply.

In this episode of 'Now That I'm Back,' BJ hosts Dr. Umieca Hankton to dive into the world of parasocial relationships and the impact of social media. The discussion covers how online interactions influence our sense of intimacy and connection, introducing terms like 'friendship mirage' and 'virtual VIP syndrome.' Emphasizing balance, the video explores the necessity of genuine in-person relationships alongside digital engagements. Practical advice is shared on building authentic connections offline, including tips for engaging activities and inviting online friends to meet in person. The episode also touches on a well-being retreat for Black women, focusing on self-reconnection and empowerment. Listeners are encouraged to embrace real-world interactions for personal growth and meaningful support.

Guest Details

Dr. Umieca Hankton is a brilliant Clinical Psychologist and founder of UNH Counseling Services. She is also an author of five self-help workbooks. THRIVING ON PURPOSE: Reflect. Meditate. Plan. Implement.: 26-Week Commitment to Self, B.R.A.V.I.N.G. the Grief Journal , The Courage to Trust Love Again: Journal and her latest “heart’s work”, Thriving with G.R.I.T.: Gratitude, Resilience, Intentionality, and Tenacity and Thriving UP! Workbook: Thriving Unapologetically & Purposefully.

Dr. Hankton is also co-hosting a Well-Being Retreat soon! Learn more at www.essenceofselfretreat.com

Dr. Hankton's social media handles are: Instagram - @unh_phd , Facebook - Dr Umieca Hankton and TikTok - @drumiecahankton.  You can also visit her website at ⁠unhcounselingservices.com⁠.  In the words of Dr. Hankton, “be well.”

Unpacking the Exit Strategy: Navigating Emotional Challenges of Leaving

In this episode of 'Now That I'm Back,' host BJ delves into the complex emotions tied to relocating after a breakup or divorce. Sharing personal experiences from her move to Atlanta, BJ discusses the challenges and benefits of changing environments, emphasizing the importance of emotional growth and self-discovery. She offers practical advice on making a successful move, including researching the new area, building a support system, securing financial stability, and giving oneself grace during the transition. The episode also features a segment analyzing the breakup storyline of Birdie from the movie ‘Hope Floats.’

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:15 The Emotional Journey of Relocating

03:12 Personal Experiences and Challenges

05:03 The Reality of Moving to Atlanta

06:13 Reflecting on the Move

10:14 Split Happens: Analyzing Breakups in Media

16:55 The Toolkit: Practical Advice for Moving

21:59 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Keywords:

red flags, relationships, dating advice, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, personal growth, relationship dynamics, communication, red flags in yourself, red flags in others

Summary:

In this engaging conversation, BJ and Latrice explore the concept of red flags in relationships, discussing both the signs to look for in others and the red flags within ourselves. They share personal anecdotes, define what constitutes a red flag, and analyze the dynamics of relationships through the lens of the film 'A Thin Line Between Love and Hate.' The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, intentionality, and trusting one's instincts when navigating romantic connections.

Takeaways:

The lack of intentionality is intentional.

It's important to have a partner be part of your world, but not your entire world.

Red flags can often be overlooked due to our desire for connection.

Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing our own red flags.

Possessiveness in relationships tends to worsen over time.

Trust your gut feelings; if something feels off, it likely is.

People show you who they are; believe them the first time.

You can't change someone who doesn't want to change.

Recognizing red flags in yourself is just as important as recognizing them in others.

Long-term friendships and relationships are indicators of emotional maturity.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Red Flags

06:54 Personal Red Flags in Relationships

16:17 Defining Red Flags

23:28 Common Red Flags We Overlook

30:19 Red Flags in Yourself

43:36 Analyzing Red Flags in 'A Thin Line Between Love and Hate'

01:04:39 Advice on Recognizing Red Flags

Guest Info:

Latrese Marie

TikTok - latrese_marie

Fav quote: "To thine own self be true."

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, BJ delves deep into the impact of generational relationship trauma, particularly focusing on emotionally distant mothers and the effects on romantic and personal relationships. BJ shares personal anecdotes and discusses how these patterns are passed down, the importance of acknowledging and validating one's own trauma, and practical steps for healing. The episode encourages black women to confront and break these cycles for future generations while emphasizing the importance of self-care and the power of emotional expression.

00:00 Introduction and Host Welcome

00:29 The Weight of Generational Relationship Trauma

01:25 Emotionally Absent Mothers

04:11 Modeling Unhealthy Relationships

08:35 Neglecting Emotional Needs

10:36 Difficulty Regulating Emotions

16:16 Personal Stories and Reflections

25:16 Healing and Moving Forward

32:18 Self-Care and Final Thoughts