Now We're Getting Somewhere

One of the most common questions I hear from potential clients is: "What's the difference between coaching and therapy?"

In this episode, I answer that question in a few ways:

+ I share my favorite metaphor about the differences between the fields.

+ I talk more about the origins of the fields, differences in training, and also how it can feel different when you are actually in the sessions themselves.

+ I also share one difference between coaching and therapy that I often hear, but don't totally agree with.

You'll walk away from this episode with a better understanding of what kinds of challenges are best served by therapy, what are best served by coaching, and how to decide if you need a therapist or a coach.

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In part 2 of this conversation, I revisit a newsletter reader question about relationships + change.

The reader asks:

"I have done a LOT of work on myself, which has resulted in seeing the world differently, clarifying my values and what kind of life I'd like to live.

"How can I continue on my new path while still accepting if my partner wants to keep going in the old one? (Or how I can encourage him to join me!)"

In part 1 of this conversation, Episode 20, I suggested 4 actions the reader could take.

Today I'm suggesting 5 specific thoughts she might consider thinking during this time.

I don't think I've done a podcast just on thoughts before, though it's something I talk with my 1:1 clients about a lot. Even though "working on thoughts" can seem kind of squishy, it is surprisingly potent; many of my clients find this to be some of the most useful work we do together.

I hope everyone can find some helpful new thoughts to consider from this episode.

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I am answering another newsletter reader question today, a question about relationships + change.

The reader asks:

"I have done a LOT of work on myself, which has resulted in seeing the world differently, clarifying my values and what kind of life I'd like to live."

"How can I continue on my new path while still accepting if my partner wants to keep going in the old one? (Or how I can encourage him to join me!)"

I had so much to say on this topic that I divided my response into two episodes. Today, I want to start with actions — I share four ideas I have about categories of action this reader can take.

I hope this is helpful to anyone listening who might be feeling some distance in a key relationship, perhaps because you've changed.

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On today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview I did with my client, Kara, about her experiences being coached.

Kara came to coaching not because her life was terrible — in fact, it wasn't! She'd gone through more challenging periods in the past, and did have a lot of things she really wanted.

But she felt like there was a disconnect between some of her values, and how she was actually spending her time and brain space.

Our work together was about helping her re-adjust her thoughts and her actions, so that her life did reflect what she valued most, and felt good to her, on the inside, not just on paper.

Kara shares the lessons she learned and her thoughts on what getting coached by me is like.

Learn more about Kara Levy's communication and executive Coaching practice here: karalevycoaching.com

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I recently asked my email newsletter list if they had any questions they'd like for me to answer on the podcast.

Today, I answer one of those questions. A high-level summary of the question is:

How do I gracefully transition to motherhood, from a career-oriented 30-year old with no kids and no role models?

While I don't particularly consider myself a parenting expert, to me this question is really about identity, priorities, time, and how our commitments to being a parent fits with all of the other things we are committed to.

And I have a lot of thoughts on those topics.

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One thing I do very, very frequently is help clients with problems like:

"I don't know what I want."

Or: "I don't know what to do about my job or relationship or where to live."

Or: "I feel like my life is off but I'm not really sure what that even means."

I call these "compass problems" — because clients don't know what direction they want to go in, and often, they fear their compass might be…broken.

Here's the good news: most of our compasses aren't broken.

Here's the bad news: Many of us don't understand how compasses *actually work.* Like, how do we even go about *knowing* what we want?

So today, I want to offer a public service: A Compass Instruction Manual.

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In this episode, I cover a topic that is close to my heart - adult friendship. And in particular, I talk about the mechanics of making and deepening friendships as an adult.

I share 8 concepts, most of them inspired by the work of Shasta Nelson, that have been extremely helpful for me, and have had very practical implications for how I think about friendship, and approach fostering friendships today.

We all go through seasons of life where we need more friends. I hope these concepts are useful to you as you navigate friendship in adulthood.

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Today I want to share with you a generally useful prescription.

This prescription is for you, if you're feeling more anxious, down, stuck, frustrated, or uninspired than you'd like.

This is for you if you're convinced you need to throw out all the sugar in your house, or get rid of your smartphone, or quit your job + become a late-night TV comedy writer.

This prescription is like Advil for a variety of life's emotional and existential pains. It solves some issues completely. And for others, it reduces the pain significantly — which is nonetheless extremely useful: if you're in that panicky, anxious place, it's unlikely you'll make the best possible decisions.

So instead of putting in your notice *today,* take this prescription, and check in with yourself — or heck, check in with me — three days later.

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*"I was stuck…but not for lack of trying."*

On today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview with my client Olivia.

When I met Olivia, she was an engineer at a major corporation. She's a highly intentional, driven, resourceful person (you've gotta hear the story of how she worked the system in college) — but still, she felt stuck + bone-deep exhausted.

She knew part of the problem was *her* — she was putting herself in new environments, but having the same issues. She felt like she'd tried everything she knew how to do, but wasn't happy with what the future looked like, if she stayed on her current path.

Olivia is super-smart, funny, and thoughtful, and I think you'll love her story + her insights on:

+ Her skepticism about me, and about life coaching (including how she asked me on our initial consult: "Katie, what if we work together for months, but all that happens is that we chat a lot and become friends?")

+ The unexpectedly positive results she got at work, when she started pushing back + working less. She did this in a working environment that was *not* the most supportive, and without the most supportive supervisor.

+ How she learned to trust those times when her gut is leading the way…but her brain hasn't caught up yet.

+ The self-coaching skills that she now uses on her own, even after we finished our time together.

+ And just a bunch of amazing chemistry metaphors!

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In today's episode, I'm offering you a radical idea:

At work, your job is to add value. Your job is not to work a specific number of hours.

In 10 Hours Back, my small group coaching program, we put this idea into practice. But I think even sitting with this concept will help you reorient what your job actually is, + find opportunities to make that a reality.

Join the waitlist for 10 Hours Back: https://www.katieseaver.com/10hoursbackwaitlist

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Learn more about working with me, or just learn more about my background + why I became a coach: katieseaver.com