October. Seventh

We are joined by Trans activist Terrell and Musician and Host Tinyman as they explore and discuss battling with stillness, 'McDonald-ization' and Metacognition. 

You can find and connect with this episodes guest via Twitter and Instagram: 

-Terrell @_editmyfengshui_ 

-Tinyman @tinymanmusic 

and of course, keep up with everything pretty @shoutprettygirl!

Self validation is accepting you own internal experience, your thoughts, and your feelings.

Self validation doesn't mean you believe your thoughts or actions are justified; there will be times when you will be shocked by your own thoughts and actions because they reflect your truest self, or, times when you are disheartened by experiences because they don't seem fair. 

When you fight your thoughts, your feelings and judge yourself for having them or for making mistakes, you increase your emotional upset and look past the truth which is that you are human; that you feel, that you can change and that who you were yesterday doesn't have to be who you are today. The sooner you learn, understand and accept that you are not defined by your experiences, by people's actions and perceptions, the sooner you realise that, "you are you and that is your power' and that perfection isn't a destination but a journey you embark on, a hill you climb and wars you overcome. 

Moral of the story? 

Be gentle with yourself and find ways to, ”make peace with yourself” because at the end of the day, we are all winging it when it comes to this thing called life. 

I got physically assaulted by a man and retaliated by smashing his car, at first I felt good about it, I even bragged about it online, then it all spiralled out of control, I got overwhelmed with attention and to be honest, as much as I was satisfied with retaliating, by the time I made my way home I realised that I acted out of character...but by then it was too late, my secret was out, that I was human, and that I made a mistake. 

Moral of the story? 

Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, sometimes you have to take accountability for your actions and recognise where you went wrong, all the time you have to remember that growth isn't a destination but a journey and that you've come a long way.

There is a fine line between being compulsive and being conscious, I tell you this because it is very easy to believe that you are being vulnerable when the truth is you're controlling. 

Control makes us feel safe and being safe doesn’t build character. The gag is...it takes strength to be vulnerable; whilst you cannot be strong AND vulnerable, being vulnerable it’s a choice you make, it’s not something that just happens. Being vulnerable is a challenge because that’s when you not only recognise where you may be weak or broken but, what you need to heal and be strengthened. 

On this episode I dissect where my comfort in overthinking comes from, I talk about identifying as the, “crying clown” and how I shut down for a month because I, instead of processing my experiences...I just opened tab after tab of thoughts in my head and ended up crashing like a computer.

I always think about how crazy it is that you'll only ever see your reflection, you'll never know what it's like to look at you, to see yourself...maybe that’s why deep down we all just want to feel validated? 

Maybe that’s why we seek to be seen and heard? 

Because we don’t see or hear ourselves because some of us are just stuck living in our heads? 

Lately I’ve e been wondering if the way I am Is how I was always supposed to be or whether the adult me lives her life reacting, running and resisting her childhood.

Quick question, does ones power lie in feeling things through or in learning the lesson?

Listen in as I question my identity and seek validation from a friend about my fear of being misunderstood, surviving life in ”autopilot” and, resisting emotional detachment.