If there's one thing 'mess ups' like doing is twist your arm to condemn you and convince you 'your mistake or bad choice is what you are after all'..so that you give in and stay messed/ing up.
Your bad choice will hold your tongue and seclude you, it not only fears being exposed to others but fears your light, your scrutiny, it fears that you will abandon it. So it keeps you hooked and drags you far from the path of righteousness and in the process destroy every other thing around you.
Your faults will measure you against perfection, it will make you think everyone around you sees and judges you, when all the while they're minding their business.
Don't allow your mistakes, flaws and bad habits to submerge you into the deep, no matter how far off you've wandered, how many times you've repeated it and the damage caused.
Don't let guilt wear you out and just because you don't see a way out does not mean there isn't. Seek the counsel of those who don't do what you've done and those who have overcome. After all we are not only bad, explore the goodness in you.
WANT OUT! Seek the Lord's help. Your silence and only keeps you in the dark. Don't find comfort in darkness, staying there only steals your future.