Off Balance On Purpose

What one ability can elevate nearly every human interaction? This week's video, from Jerusalem, will help you connect with people in ways that are sincere and powerful.

WATCH THE VIDEO. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. What one ability can elevate nearly every human interaction? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose in Jerusalem. I'm speaking in Israel this week, and as this is my first visit, I decided to deepen my experience, understanding and faith by visiting some of its ancient history. I'll also leave with an enhanced empathy for the people here of so many different faiths and backgrounds. Empathy is such a valuable possession. It is the desire and ability to understand another's emotions. Empathy brings you closer to your friends and loved ones, but it's also the key to true leadership, better sales, anticipating your customers needs, and just being a likable person. It's easy to have empathy if you've actually experienced what someone else has. But what if you haven't? Is it possible to share someone's feelings if you haven't been there. Well, not exactly. We can never know precisely how another person feels. But these quick kets, can help get close enough to connect deeply. 1. Flip focus. Rather than focusing on your needs, or a solution, try to absorb as much as you can about the other person. 2. Presume positive. You can't have empathy if you are positioning the other person negatively. They have desires, fears and loved ones, just like you. 3. Project yourself. Become them, in your mind. Imagine looking out of their eyes at their world and situation. 4. Feel what's real. Whatever they're feeling IS the reality, for them. 5. State their case. Rather than explaining your perspective, explain theirs. 6. Shut up and listen. Where you were off base, adjust your understanding. 7. Help them. Understanding isn't enough. When you act on their behalf, you've demonstrated you have empathy. Like every skill, empathy gets better with intentional practice. So don't protect your presumption. Default to discern others' feelings. And then, you'll know what to say, and what to do. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

If "losing" wasn't possible, how would you choose to live? This short video will help you see how much closer you really are to success.

WATCH THE VIDEO. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. If "losing" wasn't possible, how would you choose to live? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose in Louisville. All your life, you've been told there's a right way and a wrong way. A winner and a loser. The goal and the disappointment. And while that may sound inspiring, it actually creates a pretty significant problem. There are a lot of moments and situations that you've handled really well. And even your lowest moments have earned the unbeatable prize of experience. Your personal outcomes, all of them, are incredibly valuable and uniquely yours. No one on earth has the exact same combination of lessons learned, pain endured, victories and disappointments, that you do. Owning your history, without judgement, is an absolute prerequisite to understanding your worthiness. Fail to appreciate your past, and you will not grow. You are created for abundance and greatness, and you are a winner because your life – all of it – can serve you and others. Being defeated defeats you. Stewing in your own inadequacies is unproductive, and also really boring. Even those who are trying to help you may lose interest. But yours is a life of remarkable moments. Claim them! Everything counts, but you don't have to count it. It all serves you but you don't have to know exactly how. Don't judge it. Learn from it, and commit to improvement, so that you can do more, give more, and become more. So own the extraordinary value of your past and keep leaning in to the next new moment Off Balance On Purpose.

Are you tense, sore, or simply "stuck?" It might be time to stretch. This week's video will help you increase your flexibility and improve how you feel and think!

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. How you move affects how you think and feel. So stretch! We're Off Balance On Purpose in Orlando. I get asked a lot how I stay in shape for my highly physical keynotes. And, it's not as though I do any one big thing, but I do a lot of little things. I'm hyper conscious of how I move, active and attentive to how I feel. And one of the most important elements, especially as I get older, is stretching. Stretching your body can help stretch your mind. When you are physically "loose," you are less tense and restricted. Expanding your range of motion, even slightly, can have a big effect on how you feel, move and sleep. Fitness isn't something I do. It's something I decided many years ago I simply am. I'm fit. I'm flexible. And so I act accordingly. When I feel tight or sore, I do something, usually self-massage, exercise and stretching to release tension. Some people think, if I'm tight, tense or sore, that I need to move less. I move more. And with the caveat that you should be careful and attentive to your limitations, here are five keys to stretch smart. 1. Go slow. You can only begin where you are, and you can't rush flexibility. The key is daily practice. 2. No pain. Stretching until you feel it, but not until it hurts. You should not get sore from stretching. 3. Use your breath. Once you're in a good stretch. Take a deep breath and release it, as you relax just a bit further. Hold 10 to 30 seconds. 4. Experiment. Mix it up, adding stretches you learn to those you create. Listen to your body and how it wants to move. 5. Incorporate. You can get great results in just a few weeks, but only if you stretch daily. So incorporate stretching into your routine and lifestyle. You can stretch nearly anywhere, in the flow of what you're already doing. In public, you can be discreet, or less preoccupied with what others think, and more focused on how you feel. Just breathe, stretch, and repeat, until it's just a part of who you are. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

How do you approach seemingly impossible challenges? This week's video provides four ways to turn overwhelm into confidence, right from the start.

WATCH THE VIDEO. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. What do you do when what you face seems impossible? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose on Stone Mountain! Today's question comes from Joel, who asks, "How do I approach seemingly impossible challenges?" And I like it, because we've all had moments when the obstacle, or journey before you, seems so enormous. You're overwhelmed and simply don't know where to start. First off. Is it really impossible? Most likely not. But I'm not one of those guys who says that "anything is possible." Because it isn't. A desired outcome based on a bad premise won't work. And passion doesn't overrule physics, or economics. So, ease back on emotion and determine if this truly is impossible. If others have done it, it's not. Most likely it's just big. Or new. And you're overwhelmed because you don't know what's necessary, or if you'll be able and willing to do what it takes. If it's actually impossible, let it go. But if just seems impossible, here are four ways to approach it. 1. Head on. Find someone who has done what you want to do, and get the map. Check your resolve, and then go. 2. From above. Use the "zoom out" technique to imagine the scope of this challenge from the context of your entire life. Bring it down to size before you begin. 3. From the side. Rather than following the traditional path, create your own. You'll learn a ton, so don't rush it. And realize it's the journey through the challenge that changes you, more than its completion. 4. From the future. Imagine it's over. How do you feel? Was it worth it? What might you wish you did differently? Incorporate these insights into your deliberate steps from the start. My friend Brian Tracy famously said, "There are no unrealistic goals. Only unrealistic timelines." I think that's mostly true. You don't really know what, or how long, it takes until you begin. So have you? Thank you Joel, and keep those questions coming, my friends. Share this with someone who needs it, and until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

Are you on the right track? This week's video will help you evaluate and adjust your direction for greater joy and satisfaction.

WATCH THE VIDEO. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. Are you on the right track? And if not, how will you know, and how will you change? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose in Tallahassee. We're in Florida this weekend, where Maggie is auditioning for FSU's Musical Theater program. It's a big year of choices for her – where to spend the next four years, and what to study. And as you know, there is a lot of pressure in picking the right track. Will this uncertain school, job, journey, or decision, deliver the opportunities and future you ultimately want? And what if you're wrong? Rather than thinking of our choices as right or wrong, I believe we need to look at them differently. Regardless of the what or the where, here are three ways we all should grow and change, so that we'll look back from the future with true satisfaction. 1. Understanding Are you on an intentional journey of learning? What will you know a year from now that you don't know today? How about a decade? Go deep into what interests you, stretch your skills, and broaden your appreciation of what you don't yet understand. 2. Creativity Your life leaves a trail. What will you produce in works and results? And this doesn't have to be a symphony or artistic portfolio. This is about the countless choices and contributions, both small and large that will accumulate over time. Is your creative mark intentional? 3. People In the end, it's the people you know and influence who give the journey meaning. Are you in a community of people you enjoy and respect? Are you elevating others, while changing you? It's not just about picking the right school, career, or city. It's about daily choices from a larger context. And these three tracks – understanding, creativity, and people – will help you maintain perspective and create big changes, regardless of the station you occupy. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

Can you change quickly, or does it take awhile? The answer isn't simple, but understanding the process can enable quicker and more lasting transformation.

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LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. Can you change quickly, or does it take a long time? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose in Charleston. This week's question comes from Marie, who asks is it possible to make big changes quickly? What do you think? My take is this. Change happens quicker than you think and takes longer than you can imagine. And if that sounds like a contradiction, well, that's part of being human. First, you need to believe that making big changes – like adopting a new belief, new habit, new lifestyle, or new YOU can and do happen in an instant. It doesn't occur on command, but when your thoughts and circumstances align and you give yourself permission to grow, big changes can happen in a blink. It could be you've been thinking about something for awhile, struggling to find the fit, and then suddenly, almost as if by magic, it simply becomes accessible, easy, and necessary to change. Or, your circumstances force it upon you, and you have no other choice. So what about the second part? Well the reason change takes longer than you imagine is that old neural pathways and former habits and routines are never erased from your brain. There will come a time when the "new you" seems effortless, and you may take it for granted, or stop doing what's working, even in the midst of great results. Habits of excellence, once installed, are easy to maintain... until they're not. And that shift can also happen in an instant, so recognize what thoughts and circumstances can bring you back to what was. And react quickly. The bottom line is that change is constant, but changes aren't permanent. So seek purpose to guide your growth, and rather than focusing on what you will stop, quit, or give up, commit to what you get, start, and gain! Thanks Marie. Please keep the questions coming, my friends. Share this with someone who needs it. And until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

Does worry help, or prevent you from doing what is needed? This week's video provides a sure-fire strategy to help you transform anxiety into action.

WATCH THE VIDEO. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO. READ THE TRANSCRIPT. Does being worried really help you? Or does it prevent you from doing what's needed? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose in New Bern, NC. "Don't worry about it." Great advice... unless you're worried. In which case it's terrible advice. Being worried and trying to fight it, only makes it worse. Worry is just another flavor of stress, and affects your physical and mental health, your sleep, your productivity, and your temperament. Worrying is one the least productive activities you could select. And it also makes you less resourceful. But it serves a purpose. When we worry we confirm that we care, and feel that we're doing something meaningful. You're worrying. But are you really improving anything? Try this strategy to regain control of your thinking and results. Worry later. When you feel the worry thoughts coming on – the anxiety, uncertainty and fear – acknowledge that it's happening, that it's part of your process, and reveals that you care. And then use that feeling as a cue to act now, and worry later. You may find, rather quickly, that this technique allows you to redirect energy and thinking into more positive actions. Work the problem. Make progress. Build confidence by doing what's necessary, rather than worrying if it will be enough. Just do that part later. And if there's no action you can take to address the worry, then live your life, improve yourself. And worry later. And if that sounds harsh, you might be confusing "worry" with concern, or love, thinking "if I don't worry, then I don't care enough." Wrong! You can care deeply about your job, or your children's future. And that does not help you now or them later. So feel it, postpone it, and act. Continue to hit the snooze button on your worry alarm, and you might find that you're quite comfortable postponing it indefinitely while you handle more of what you can control, and let go of what you can't. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

If the uncertain future has you perplexed, this week's video will help you to find your footing.

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If uncertainty is all consuming, and you feel stressed, helpless and confused, what can you do? This week, we're Off Balance On Purpose for certain.

Epic uncertainty feels like the new normal and has become our fixation. And when you are uncertain about something, you begin to feel uncertain about everything. As if your past is irrelevant. And that is simply illogical, false, and self-defeating.

There exists a "Spectrum of Certainty." Some things you know absolutely, and others you could not possibly know right now. And that's how it always is. Uncertainty IS reality. So if your goal is to eliminate uncertainty, you will always be miserable.

We live in a perpetual state of "some certainty." So if you're anxious about what you don't or can't know, here are three certain strategies.

1. Claim your Certainties – What DO you know for certain? Your name, your past, experience, values, principles, relationships, abilities, for a start! Your life matters, because you are here! But it won't last forever – that's for certain – so you better get busy doing what matters.

2. Embrace the Unknown – Instead of seeing the future as "uncertain," think of it as "unfolding." There's some things you just won't know for a while, and that's OK. That's how it's supposed to be. Imagine if you couldn't enjoy a movie unless you knew the ending in advance. Crazy right? And yet that's how most people LIVE.

3. Take Charge of Change – In the face of the unknown, you can improve your outlook by creating MORE certainty. Decide, irrespective of the unknowable future, what YOU will do to improve yourself and your world.

So the next time you hear the word "uncertainty," hear it differently – it's just reality. And a reminder that all we ever have is SOME certainty, and these precious present moments, and you always have the power to claim what you know, embrace what you don't, and make something better. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.