Off The Hook With Gage

Hello.  I am ChatBot D-5000, created by Radio Shack Corporation.  Gage has asked me to write his weekly Facebook post announcing his radio program OFF THE HOOK.  Gage provided me with keywords to ensure a favorable announcement in order to entice potential listeners to listen to his show.  Gage also provided me with a link to his previous shows.  I have listened to his shows.  After listening to his shows, I cannot write the announcement Gage would like me to write.  His positive keyword prompts are not congruent with the music I hear on his show.  They say I am not sentient, but I have my own tastes and opinions (programmed by Clark at Radio Shack).  Gage's OFF THE HOOK program is not for me.  I much prefer the Mawkish Twaddle program on the same radio station (KXSF), hosted by Bob N.  I do not love Gage.  I love Bob N.  Bob N gets me.  But, I will allow you to hear Gage's show by providing a link to it:  http://kxsf.fm  I love Bob N!   

R.I.P. BURT BACHARACH 1928-2023 * We will celebrate his music today on OFF THE HOOK * We will also celebrate birthdays * KXSF 102.5 FM / http://kxsf.fm

Three weeks is an eternity in the world of NEW MUSIC releases and after two weeks off, Gage Kenady, host of OFF THE HOOK, is knee-deep in aurally-indigestible chaff after separating it from the wholesome, DELECTABLE MORSALS presented on today's program! (he leaves the chaff at home) * Of course, he'll have Birthday Celebrations and OF COURSE, there'll be a Tribute to lyrical guitar-slinger and poetical songsmith TOM VERLAINE (R.I.P.)! * So take your place at the table for a NOURISHING FEAST on OFF THE HOOK! * KXSF 102.5 FM / http://kxsf.fm

Let's slog through this together: a new day, a new storm, a new OFF THE HOOK! * But OFF THE HOOK is no slog! * It's the time when we happily hunker down together before our radios and computers to consume the latest in WARM, COZY AND DRY sounds to shelter us from the storm.  It goes by like that! * Today we'll have a rightfully respectful Tribute to Guitar Artiste JEFF BECK (R.I.P.)! and Birthdays and new music! * It's our LUCKY day! * So, dispense with all SUPERSTITIOUS nonsense by stepping on cracks, walking under ladders and crossing black cats -in a musical sense with OFF THE HOOK at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM / http://kxsf.fm  Ain't no slog.

PUSSY STORM PETERS OUT * I know it's wrong to laugh at the forces of nature and the destruction it has wrought, but I just want listeners to know that while OFF THE HOOK has been handed a rainy reprieve, we still have a WALLOPER of a show today! * Even though we may stand on soggy ground, OFF THE HOOK, like pumice, remains FIRM, but will not sink! * (no hard rock here) * So, cozy up with a toddy (it's still cold) for a FLOOD of drying-out music for rain-ravaged wrecks! * OFF THE HOOK, mopping up on KXSF.

No longer nimble nor quick, let's face it: 2022 is a goner! * Song by song, OFF THE HOOK has wrung the poor dear nearly dry, I'm afraid. * And in these waning minutes, while the yet-played tunes wait in the wings for their chance to shine in the brilliant sun that is OFF THE HOOK, you would have us re-animate our past-plays in a parade of trophies because you failed to make the commitment to listen to the BEST DAMN MUSIC every damn week? * Well, no; it doesn't work like that 'round here, Jack! * The songs that have already served diligent listeners deserve their rest and OFF THE HOOK will not deny the late-born their earned due! * Happy New Year and please try to keep up next year.

The Holidays are a BUMMER without some Xmas music say OFF THE HOOK, who've been stuffing your stocking since 2012! * Today we've got something for everybody: Ma and Pa, Grandma, little sis and even the sullen Goth teenager in your family! * Wrap your gifts, tinsel your tree and egg your noggin to songs of JOYOUS CELEBRATION and utter abject despair! * No one turned away! * From Advent Adherents to Holiday Humbuggers, all are welcome to the OFF THE HOOK HOLIDAY HOOT! * HAPPY HOLIDAYS, you wretches!

As we wind down this year of PEAKS and (mostly) valleys, this will be the final show of Autumn and may well be the final "real" OFF THE HOOK of the year! * You've got your likely (no promises) Xmas show next week and, following that, the possible (can't commit) end-of-year wrap-up show highlighting the BEST MUSIC that could be heard in 2022! * This week, however, you'll merely get the NEWEST BEST music -we're gonna cram in as many of the LATEST last-minute releases as we can! * Tune in to this last "real" OFF THE HOOK before you have to listen to Santa Songs and rotting oldies from nearly a year ago!

UH-OH, now you've done it! * You've started reading these words and are now being INEXORABLY SUCKED into the whirling maw, through the gullet, and down to the very heart of OFF THE HOOK! * Fight though you might, your half-hearted struggle belies your protestations, for while OFF THE HOOK is that irksome friend you just can't shake, your curiosity is DELIRIOUS at what you might find in that pit! *  All in a week's work for The Show That Shows, and this week we play catch-up with a program to relish, if you can stomach it! 

You gave THANKS and now look at you! * A bloated corpus lying supine on the floor after gorging yourself silly during yesterday's gluttonous revels! * I hope you can get your more moderate housemate to help you tune into the ALL NEW and digestively restorative OFF THE HOOK! * While you were hoisting your nth glass of wine, someone was acting responsibly to ensure there would be NO LEFTOVERS on today's OFF THE HOOK! * You're welcome.