Off The Hook With Gage

When is a Neil not an eel? * When it's a-kneel! * Well, then and all other times, too, when you think about it. * Necessarily true. * But OFF THE HOOK holds no truck with homespun prairie philosophies. * It is guided only by the inner logic of its poet-host, whoever he'll be. * And spit piffles tho it must, OFF THE HOOK's stern ripostes mayn't be worthy of reposts, but the sour confetti of a thousand gigolos explodes before the errant tangle of wayward ping-pong balls -the lust within its warty firmament. * This aural rapture, the Dog Star of Consent, appears before you at the Winching Hour of now and anon.

The REAL THING! * or is it? * OFF THE HOOK has been known for its QUIRKY PERSONA, but is it now a FAKE SO DEEP that every miscue, every verbal gaffe and every PERPLEXING bit of programming has been replicated? * And was it ever so? * Is Gage Kenady the creator or the creation? * Even he is now asking himself this question! * And why aren't you asking the same question about yourself? * Probably because you don't care, it doesn't matter, and you never created anything in the first place! * All you should care about is the music presented, which is so real it's UNREAL -or is it? * Find out What's The Matter With Gage on OFF THE HOOK!

Hey there, Empty Ears!  Silence is for losers! * Let OFF THE HOOK funnel sweet creamy noise into your head tunnels! * Sure to excite, calm or baffle -I don't know you! * Tickets gived away at unspecified designated moments! * Fun for the whole family and dogs! * and grandma! * OFF THE HOOK: a happening happening at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM and at https://kxsf.fm/  Listen to both at once!

SIGH! PURR! * Not words that generally elicit all-caps exclamation points * But how else to express the fact that the OFF THE HOOK radio program needn't hit you over the head with overly aggressive stimuli in order to bring you the BAM! of a gossamer-light/musically-heavy chamber piece or the POW! of a psyche-twisting lyric that has you questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself? * This is programming from the inside out that is every bit as visceral as a ding-dang Motorhead! * Rock'n'roll in sheep's clothing, you might say. * (Plus, there's some actual rock'n'roll) * WHOA! https://kxsf.fm/

OFF THE HOOK doesn't like to tip its hand! * That's why, even though it has thousands of RECORDS, it doesn't keep NOTES (other than musical ones)! * That way you're assured that each week's program will not be LEAKED ahead of time, the better to take you by surprise! * And while OFF THE HOOK may SPY on its fellow DJs, the INFORMATION it puts to use will truly startle you in an ambush of programming superiority that will shake the thug right out of you! * This element of surprise is a strategic strike that benefits you, the listener! * Hear INTELLIGENCE in sound at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM ( https://kxsf.fm/ ) * Until then, it's CLASSIFIED!

Some strategically-placed mirrors, a bit of smoke, and a couple of throw pillows and Voila! -an ever-widening 360-degree panorama of the LATEST MUSICAL SOUNDS, emanating from the cramped hovel of Light Rail Studios, appears before you:  what we call the OFF THE HOOK program! * How do we do it? * Well, it's not all mere illusion, my friend! * The sounds heard on OFF THE HOOK are real! * It just takes a Wizard to hunt them down and corral them into MAGICAL configurations, concocted in the high-vaulted castle of his mind! * Join conjurer Gage Kenady for some Radio Razzle-Dazzle! * Really real and really good.

Can you dig it? * Tis the season to be in the flowerbed and OFF THE HOOK doesn't mind getting dirty in order to PLANT some new beauties in your earbuds! * But OFF THE HOOK digs deeper, replenishing fallow soil with groovy UNDERGROUND dirt, all the better to prepare a garden of unseen beauty and mysterious wonder! * For which flower is sweeter not sniffed? * Life is no bed of roses, but c'mon, enough with the roses, they've been smelt into the ground already!

As we begin to gently nudge Old Man Winter out the door ("This way, my dear.  Get Out!") and shake off that cold suit of armor, we already feel lighter and are ready to prance (in zephyrous attire) into the waiting arms of Spring. * But our thaw will not be complete until we exercise our Right to Sing, into the Equinoxical horizon before us. * It is the communal nature of this seasonal crossing that has us together at the door of OFF THE HOOK, ready to plunge through with arms linked to examine New Blooms in a Wonderland of Sound. * Begone, cold cruel Winter!  Let your hoary head slumber until called upon anon! * The clarion call of New Spring shall likewise herald the arrival of a new OFF THE HOOK, in crystal-clear (and hopefully jazzy) tones!

"Knock Knock!"  "Who's There?"  "OFF THE HOOK."  "OFF THE HOOK who?"  "There's only one OFF THE HOOK, you idiot!  Let me in, I have gifts for you!" * And so it goes, every week, OFF THE HOOK bearing gifts of Beauty, Wonder and Nostalgia, procured with great effort, painstakingly packaged to please you. * It would please OFF THE HOOK if you would open your door to OFF THE HOOK. * Hurry up!  It's cold out here!

It's time once again for OFF THE HOOK, The Show That Shows! * I wonder if there will ever be a show that shows The Show That Shows a thing or two. * It's hard to imagine because The Show That Shows shows what other shows can't!  * They get it from OFF THE HOOK! * One thing's for sure: everyone can get it from OFF THE HOOK every Friday from 1:00 to 4:00!