GRABBING YOU BY THE EARS until you cry "Uncle!  I love it!", OFF THE HOOK may shake you all around, but never shakes you down! * This is FREE RADIO! * Hear what tries to be kept hid by greedy corporate radio goons from a sweet (sarcastic, smarmy, stumbling) and benevolent presenter who knows what's good for you! * To recap: FREE: costs you nothing but your time and mind! * SWEET: but never treacly! * Shake: SHAKE, RATTLE AND BLOW UP with OFF THE HOOK!

Tune in NOW for a Special remote broadcast live from Miami where Gage interviews The Chargers in their secret locker room on the eve of their new dawn! * We'll also hear wrestling 'n' laundry tips from MASTER chef Rudy Giuliani ! * AND animal poets of the Klondikes! * You'd be a fool not to miss this yeah yeah yeah edition of OFF THE HOOK! 

I was tooling down the mean streets of San Francisco and flipped on the FM. * What I heard was so APPALLING, I realized that the reports I had heard were true: the state of local radio is UTTERLY ATROCIOUS! * I was about to FLIP OFF the radio when, like a GLEAMING BEACON from the heavens, I came upon 102.5, otherwise known as KXSF! * The power with which this BENEVOLENT RADIANCE hit me belied its paltry 2 Watts and I knew there was hope yet for the otherwise unfortunate denizens of our fair city! * RAH-RAH RADIO! * A particularly NOURISHING OASIS in the radio wasteland is the OFF THE HOOK program!

PLUMBING THE DEPTHS, one encounters the Umbrella Mouth Gulper Eel. * He's OFF THE HOOK and heading for you! * He flies through the Air!  He slinks through the Stream!  He looks like a stiletto heel and his bite brings wisdom and bliss! * Hear what he brings from the deep. * Catch him on the OFF THE HOOK program. * Plumb the depths with us.

HEY, GOOD LOOKIN'! * When I see someone so SHARP and well-appointed looking at their watch, I know I'm dealing with a FIERCELY INTELLIGENT individual with IMPECCABLE TASTE counting down the minutes to OFF THE HOOK! * A person ahead of the curve who enjoys a ROLLICKING GOOD TIME while sampling tomorrow's menu of musical mayhem today! * Someone whose shrewd discernment can only be sated by the SAGACIOUS SOUNDS on OFF THE HOOK! * Other people like it, too!

OFF THE HOOK: spiffy, with-it sounds for NOW people! * A SEXY, diverse and CONTROVERSIAL "water-cooler show" bringing lashing tongues and flying fists that end in harmonious hugs at the thankfulness shared for such a GODSEND! * This week your host brings not only the HAPPENINGEST hits for the hippest heads, but also a Tribute to the iconic vocalist of the MOST ICONIC "A Whiter Shade Of Pale", Procol Harum's GARY BROOKER (R.I.P.)! * It's OFF THE HOOK!