LIVESTREAM COMING UP - Dec 23rd @ 7pm CST

5 Stages Of Grief

A visit from a wizard

Guys, I'ma be real with you here. This was a TOUGH ONE. Cooper was falling asleep, Austin was sick and mid-nosebleed. But you don't care, do you? You still want us to shovel this slop content into your insatiable gullet anyway. Whatever it takes to help you forget the last 45 minutes of your life, right? You don't care about quality. You just want more. MORE. 

Sketch:

Topics:

So did you have a good holiday week, Huh? You didn't? You pooped your pants at Thanksgiving dinner? Again? We can't keep buying you new pants every time you get distracted playing that fan-dangled Gameboy of yours and forget to go potty. You're 33 years old, you should be buying your own pants by now. Oh, I'M uncouth??? Where'd you even learn that word, Kyle? Last I checked, I didn't poop my pants at Thanksgiving this year. Did I? Hmm, let me check. Nope... still no poop in my pants. I raised you better than this an...no... Kyle don't cry. Kyle stop. You're an adult. Stop crying. Look, okay, I get it. Your mom and I's divorce really took a toll on you, and I do still wish there was more we could've done for you at the time. But money was tough, we couldn't afford to eat dinner some nights, let alone find you a counselor. And when you pooped your pants back then, we just had to ride those poor things out until the next paycheck. But things are better now. I'm happy to buy you new pants when you need them. I love you, Kyle. I do. Just...please stop pooping your pants.

Talking Points:

Queen's Gambit: the board game

Master Chief piss suit

Florida Man Birthday Challenge

The next Chris Chan

There's a lot of hurt and sadness in this world. And pain. And cheeseburgers. And leafcutter ants. And Garfield smut. Oh god, there's so much Garfield smut. If your body's metabolism ran purely off of Garfield smut that you found on the internet, you'd live for six years. Which isn't great, but it's still a lot. Of Garfield smut. Fuck.

Talking topics:

Kyle Rittenhouse

It's the Year 2047. President Logan Paul just dropped the last gay bomb on New New Jersey. There were no survivors.

4,300 years later, an archeologist brushes the ash off an old SD card while scavenging for relics of the Lost Days. Contained within the card is the last surviving copy of Episode 19 of the OSIA Podcast. They listen to it. They decide it's kinda boring. They throw it away.

KC Swap & Shop - Today In Christory - Don Donald Daggerson's Discount Drug Deals

Hey guys! We're still making podcasts because you're still listening to them! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?! STOP THIS!! THEY HAVE ME SET UP IN A GODDAMN CLOSET EDITING THESE EPISODES TOGETHER!! THEY COMMIT WARCRIMES AGAINST MY SOUL!!! STOP CROSSING THE DAMN PICKET LINE AND HELP ME!! I AM LOCATED AT *redacted*.

Oh, what a funny guy that is! We take such good care of him! He gets all the porridge his heart desires! And he gets to listen to nu-metal at unreasonable hours! He's doing fine! Keep listening!