Showing up as yourself can feel terrifying, especially when you have a drop (or gallon) of anxiety from past trauma. The good news is, once you show up as yourself without apology, the worst of it is over. A lifetime of people-pleasing has been exhausting so I'm leaving it behind! I'd rather risk the occasional rejection than die the slow, soul-crushing death that comes from wondering if all of the ways I've tried to change for others was, or ever will be, enough.
Of course, sometimes I still feel like Tina Fey when she wrote, "My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne." [Bossypants, 2011] Oh well... we all take it a day at a time!