Okay, so now what?

Receiving love sounds simple enough, but it's actually kind of awkward. When someone gives us something― whether it be food, presents, or love― accepting might compel us to give back quickly or to at least write our obligatory seasonal gratitude list. But what if receiving, without obligation or quick reciprocation, actually makes us better givers?

As mentioned in the episode:

• “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” -Zora Neale Hurston

Accepting help is quite possibly one of life's toughest experiences. And asking for help is even harder. But at the end of the day, we all need support in big, small, and meaningful ways. In fact, we probably needed the support long before the end of the day. So why do we wait until we're desperate?

As mentioned in the episode:

• "The Boyfriend" on Seinfeld , Season 3

There's no such thing as a "non-creative" person. And yet, too many of us believe that the creative things we love or the goals we most want to achieve just might not be for us. This episode is for all of us with interests, aspirations, and dreams we don't plan to pursue because we fear the judgement, remember the critical comment from years ago, or doubt the point in even starting.

As mentioned in the episode:

•  “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” -Sylvia Plath
• "Reclaim Your Creative Confidence" by Tom Kelley and David Kelley in the Harvard Business Review
• “If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh

You can follow Anna on Instagram (@frylikefrenchfry) or reach her through her website (annafrymire.com).

This episode is for everyone who feels straight up exhausted, even after a full night's rest. Nearly two years of global high stress and a lifetime of sensory overload has left many of us feeling depleted and searching for life's spark of enthusiasm and clarity. In this episode, Anna dives into exhaustion, fatigue, and the difference between sleep, relaxation, and rest.

As mentioned in the podcast:

• "The 7 types of rest that every person needs" by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
• Dr. Andrew Huberman and Huberman Lab Podcast
• Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

What does fake abuse look like? Or does it even exist? Emotional abuse might not leave a mark, but it certainly injures. Society generally agrees that physically abusing someone is wrong and that it can be classified as domestic violence. But what about constantly criticizing someone,  making them the subject of jokes, or blocking their access to finances, transportation, or friendship? Emotional abuse can be a taboo topic in a world that suggests: no bruise means no risk. In this episode, I explore emotional abuse, it's impacts, and just how much emotional abuse shaped the way I view the world and my place in it.

*If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Or text "START" to 8878.

*It's also helpful to tell a trusted friend, pastor, supervisor, coworker, or counselor. You're not alone.

As mentioned in the episode:

• Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive by Stephanie Land
• What is emotional abuse?
• How to Recognize Verbal Abuse
• Resources for Allies and Supporters

Additional resources: (no affiliate links)

• Parental Psychological Abuse toward children and Mental Health Problems in adolescence by Syeda Fariha Iram Rizvi and Najma Najam
• The Deepest Well by Nadine Burke Harris

You can follow Anna Frymire on Instagram @frylikefrenchfry. Or find her contact info on annafrymire.com

Each of us is living a story. Perhaps we're disappointed with this story or bored by it or even disgusted by it. Or perhaps we're deeply satisfied with our life story, but afraid one wrong move and it'll all be snatched away. Life's not linear, despite our attachment to timelines and our obsession with meeting certain markers in our life before we allow ourselves to feel accomplished or meaningful. Our lives are found in the "stories between stories". Inspired by a quote from author Deena Metzger, this episode is about allowing ourselves to get a little lost in our story as we find our way home.

As mentioned in the episode:

• "Stories move in circles. They don’t move in straight lines. So it helps if you listen in circles. There are stories inside stories and stories between stories, and finding your way through them is as easy and as hard as finding your way home. And part of the finding is the getting lost. And when you’re lost, you start to look around and to listen." (excerpt taken from Writing for Your Life by Deena Metzger)

This is the third episode in the "Formidable Fridays" series where we explore the difficult topic of loneliness. Each of us will experience profound loneliness at some point in our lives. The weight of it can feel stifling and the shame of it, silencing. Historians, anthropologists, and scientists have studied loneliness and it's causes for thousands of years. It's a pain we all share, especially post-pandemic as we navigate new social structures and expectations. But is there a practical antidote in a world filled with impractical struggles?  

As mentioned in the episode:

• “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” -Carl Jung
• “The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.” -Charlotte Bronte
• “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou
• “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” -Kurt Vonnegut
• “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” -Mother Theresa
• “When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that’s when I think life is over.” -Audrey Hepburn
• “The History of Loneliness” by Jill Lepore published in The New Yorker (April 2020)
• “Where loneliness comes from” by Katy Waldman published in The New Yorker (July 2021)
• “The beauty of being a misfit” by Lidia Yuknavitch at TED2016
• “Structure and function of the human insula” by Lucina Q. Uddin, Jason S. Nomi, Benjamin Hebert-Seropian, Jimmy Ghaziri, and Olivier Boucher published on NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information)

You can follow me on Instagram @frylikefrenchfry. I love hearing from listeners and continuing the conversation. 

"Head of a Woman" is a 17th century portrait of a peasant woman in Rome. She has no teeth. She's looking down. She's aged and sad, but peaceful too. None of us know her name, where she came from, or why she sat for a portrait when peasants weren't the subjects of paintings. But hundreds of years later, we know her face and we admire her. We're all a little like the "Head of a Woman": people moving through life profoundly influencing the people around us, whether we realize it or not.

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day and a reminder that each of us holds a deep, timeless significance even when life feels completely hopeless.

***If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out to a trusted person or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255).

As mentioned in the episode:

• "Head of a Woman" by Michael Sweerts
• The Depression Project on IG (@realdepressionproject)

Panic attacks—gotta’ love ‘em! You’re sitting through your Tuesday morning meeting when, suddenly, you're unable to steady your hand, read your notes, or find oxygen. You're dying in the corner while your coworkers blandly sip their coffee. Panic attacks rarely look or feel the way we expect, but for a brief window in time, the walls close in and we're left asking, "Okay, so now what?"

Sometimes the fear of future panic attacks becomes just as bad as the panic attacks themselves. But these temporary physiological responses are manageable even if they're not always avoidable. So in preparation for your next unannounced panic attack, here are some tips and tricks for crippling anxiety management. Don't worry. You'll be blacking out  in style in no time.

Looking for a sunny start to your weekend? This isn't it. Nihilism and Existential Dread have cast their abysmal shadows across humanity for centuries. But is it all hopeless? What is meaning and how do we define it, find it, and understand it? At some point in our lives, we all experience an existential crisis which is, at it's root, an identity crisis and awful sense of hopelessness. But I think there's reason to hope. And I think the existential Russian novelists may be a bit more optimistic than we originally thought.

As mentioned in the episode:

• The go-to guy for French name pronunciation, Julien Miquel, and the pronunciation of "Simone de Beauvoir"
• "Man is sometimes extraordinarily, passionately, in love with suffering." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
• "To live without hope is to cease to live." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
• "To love someone means to see them as God intended them." -Fyodor Dostoevsky