Old Fogies & Films

The Old Fogies watched Emilia Clarke get swept off her feet by a man whose feet never touch the ground. But then the other kitschy shoe drops, and she receives a devastating performance review.

Me Before You - dir. Thea Sharrock - 2016

In this one, gay men try to steal dolphin symbolism right out from under lesbians’ (bottle?) noses. How very dare they. It’s soapy, but there’s plenty of water imagery to wash it down with.

The Fruit Machine - dir. Phillip Saville - 1988

SEASON FINALE! What’s The Truth About You? And are you brave enough to confront it? With the sudden and terrifying rise in anti-LGBTQA+ hate crimes around the world, the Fogies close out Pride month with The Truth About Jane—a rather tame, but certainly personal and emotional story about a gay youth experiencing hate and rejection but learning to love herself despite these forces against her. Sometimes the evil in a princess’s life is not a wicked STEP-mother, but her own villainous flesh and blood.

Ruth invites you to our final movie of the season! Coming Wednesday, June 29!

Michelle Pfeiffer, white oleanders, milk. Pretty and poisonous. Hey, if you’re lactose intolerant, milk is a real bitch. But Ms. Pfeiffer only plays poisonous in 2002’s White Oleander, and, just like her young on-screen daughter, the Fogies are in her thrall. We all endeavor to differentiate ourselves from our parents in our teen years, though usually the legal system isn’t literally putting bars between us to force that separation.

Tikia invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 15!

You can never go home again, as they say, especially once you’ve been put IN a home. To launch Pride 2022, the Fogies watched Todd Stephens’s Swan Song, and though our hero still has a TWINK-le in his eye, the world he knew has faded from memory. As we celebrate our freedom and how far we’ve come, let’s BEAR in mind the insidious elements in our society, who still plot daily to take it all away, by honoring the men and women who lived out loud when it was even more dangerous to do so. Mr. Pat “don’t miss shit” now.

Here comes Pride! Aric invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 1!

The Fogies were so hypnotized by Harvey Keitel’s hair in Taxi Driver, that we were compelled to assassinate… filmic good taste! Just kidding - we managed not to embarrass ourselves too badly as reviewers, nor be radicalized into hate-filled, incel vigilantes. But damn, he do have that Pantene shine.

Robert NeDiro* invites you to our latest movie, assigned by his mother, coming Wednesday, May 18! *Not his real name.