Old Souls and Seekers

“You can build the sexiest, most amazing car in the world. But if you don’t have the right fuel, you aren’t going anywhere.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet)  We have to get things done.

Our jobs, our relationships, our classes—at each step in the road, a to-do list forms, and we spend our time checking off the items.

But often times, the tasks don’t get accomplished, and we then are left wondering why. It turns out that, more often than not, this is due to a lack of energy and awareness in the approach.

That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are jumping in a live call to discuss the difference between masculine and feminine energies. So often, in our lives and careers, we find ourselves leaning to one side more than the other—even when we know the real magic lies in balancing the two forces.  Tune in to this conversation to learn how to elegantly walk the tightrope of masculine and feminine energy!

"There's not a right or wrong way to do anything." - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:

Understand that neither masculine nor feminine energy is better than the other.Most people don’t feel safe enough to take action. You’ll reach the next thing by investing time in anything you’re moved towards. Tune in to what feels good right now, because that’s the only thing you can see. Create goals that excite and motivate, rather than induce stress. In general, the things the most disturb us in the external world are the things that we least like about ourselvesOur bodies are metabolic machines, taking energy and moving it through the system.Every challenge you experience is your system’s way of trying to solve childhood trauma. 

 

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“Parenting is a self-improvement project in disguise.” - Lisa Howe

(click to tweet)  Parenting is the greatest ask.

 You have to raise children to be their best selves, by providing unconditional love and support. In theory, this makes sense—but when the realities of life get pressed against the stressors of child-bearing, it can be hard to see the picture clearly.

That’s why self-regulation is so important. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, then we cannot expect to take care of another human being.

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by social worker—Lisa Howes—to discuss the best parenting strategies. Over the past 25 years, Lisa has helped children and families navigate the complex hurdles that come with being part of a family unit.  Tune in to this conversation to learn how to approach parenting from a place of curiosity, so you start to learn from your children.

You can learn more about Lisa Howe at becomingpeaceful.com

“All relationships improve with connection and vulnerability.” - Lisa Howe

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The Cliff Notes:

Read more about Dr. Markham’s Aha! Parenting here. Peaceful parenting boils down to being kind and firm.Research shows that just 5 deep breaths can slow your thinking to a point of response.A meditation practice for 8 weeks will shrink the amygdala, lowering your flight-fight response.When emotionally triggered—stop, drop, and breathe (where ‘drop’ means ‘to drop your agenda.’)Understand that in almost every case, there is never an emergency.Treat your children as your master teachers, so they grow up not believing you’re infallible. Read The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. The way you create your children is the way they end up.Our thoughts create our feelings, and those feelings create our beliefs.Find the solution by articulating what you love about your child.

“If a child is having a meltdown—it’s not our job to stop it. It’s our job to help them through it.” - Lisa Howe

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“If your system is freaking out, stop trying to manage it. Let it freak out.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The smallest thing can set us off. 

Maybe it’s a spouse ignoring our request, or a co-worker not responding to our emotional cues. In these moments, we can feel the tidal waves of anger or frustration come crashing down on us. 

Defending against their force is a losing battle, but we try anyways. This attempt creates even more velocity in the rabbit hole of negative thinking, and we findw ourselves spiraling out. 

That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing how we can create a spiritual pattern interrupt that helps in these high-pressure moments. By recognizing and respecting what’s going on in our system—we can tune in to an untapped frequency that will guide us to safety. Tune in to this conversation to learn how to properly reframe your system during emotional hijacking!  

“There are so many things that rob us of our peace and sanity in the moment—but also our experience of feeling in love and connected with those around us.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:

Recognize when your bodily sensations are distorting your mind. Even when love is present, the system can often have difficulty seeing it. On a fundamental level, being in a triggered state feels unsafe. During freak-outs, honor your system by telling yourself that everything is going to be OK.Reframe when your body gets hijacked as an opportunity of parts yourself to be highlighted.Because humans are social creatures, a loss of connection feels very close to death.Differentiate between connection and drama masquerading as connection. Most people are in-pattern so much that they forget they’re even in-pattern.It doesn’t matter how much money you’ve spent on self-development—you’re still a human being.

 

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“A life driven by the ego is a life not worth living.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet)  Your ego has devastated your life.

We might not be aware of this simple fact, but it’s the truth. The voice inside our head is the thing that inflicts all of our emotional pain—it’s our ego. 

To free yourself from its hold, you must learn to differentiate between it and you. This separation is often difficult because the ego clouds our perception of reality. 

That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing how the ego functions, what it’s robbed you of in your life, and what tools you can use to bring an awareness of it to your daily life.  Tune in to this conversation to hear Guy & Ilan unpack the mechanics of ego, so you know its tendencies next time it tries to corrupt your well-being!

“A negative experience is a contradiction to the ego’s opinion.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:

Plot point: a significant event within a plot that spins the action around in another directionTry to differentiate between reality and your perception of it. People think their ego is their best friend because it talks to you all day long. While it’s not easy to hear, understand that all emotional pain is self-inflicted.Ask yourself: if today was your last day on earth, how would you assess if your life was well-lived? It’s much more difficult to drive your own life than to just be a passenger. Understand that the ego can drive you to have a very successful financial life. Take the oath of living a life 100% committed to full abundance.

“The world of the ego is a world of constant agony and suffering.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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“Your system has to be met with an open heart or else it just collapses.” - Guy and Ilan Ferdman

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Parenting is uncomfortable. 

Those with children say it’s like constantly holding a mirror up to yourself. While that might be flattering when your child shows kindness or listens carefully—often times, they reveal the parts of us that we don’t want the rest of the world seeing.

When this happens, it’s easy to lose sight of our parental responsibilities. We get triggered, and the heat of the moment takes over. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are sharing the parenting strategies on how to deal with our emotions in these high-pressure situations. By sitting back asking our children how they feel, and sharing our own vulnerabilities, we can alleviate the pressure and resume to a state of peace. 

Tune in to this conversation to hear Guy and Ilan unpack these mechanics in a live-coaching call!

“Be with what’s so—instead of trying to change what’s happening because it’s uncomfortable.” - Guy and Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:

Try to be with the fact of feelings instead of adding to or rationalizing them.Differentiate between aggression and sadness covered up by anger.Solve others problems by sharing your own vulnerabilities.Provide language for your children by asking them how they feel.Reframe OCD-like behaviors by asking: are you choosing to be rigid or flexible? Recognize whether you’re truly out of control, or if there’s actually safety in your state. As a parent, relieve yourself of the responsibility to be infallible.Your children want you to be happy, so try to understand their behaviors through that filter. 

 “Humanizing yourself to your children levels the playing field and allows them access to come for support.” - Guy and Ilan Ferdman

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“The majority of us are clouded in programming and cultural conditioning around our sexuality.” - Jaiya

(click to tweet)  We don’t want to look at our shadows. 

Instead, we look at what’s ahead, focused on the next task at hand or ‘to-do’ we need to cross off our list. Doing this works well—we’ll build the business of our dreams with the relationship and family we never thought was possible. 

But inside, it’s a different story. Our shadows still scream for our attention. That is until the one day that we decide to confront them head on. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Jaiya to discuss how we can use our sexuality to promote internal healing. By approaching sex with this mindset, we open up new floodgates of awareness that can permeate to all aspects of our life.  Tune in to this conversation to hear how we can use sexuality to turn suffering into transcendence. 

You can learn more about Jaiya here

“Orgasm is a moment of oneness.” - Jaiya

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The Cliff Notes:Surveys show that 76% of women have faked their pleasure.Think of existence as creating a vessel for others to seem themselves through.Awakening and enlightenment is hidden in our shadows - the places we are least likely to look.There are many types of sexual blueprints: energetics, sensual, sexual, and shape-shifter.Separate your experiences from the label, so you can enjoy the sensations as orgasmic.Even in your most accomplished checklist of life, you can still find yourself depressed. Research is starting to show high treatment of PTSD with drug trials of MDMA and psilocybin.Instead of spiritually bypassing, understand that suffering leads to transcendence.Research shows that children in traumatic situations release DMT to experience different worlds. 

 “It wasn’t about what I do. It was about what I am being and reflecting.” - Jaiya

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“The #1 condition on the planet is a lack of self-worth.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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Personal development can become complicated. 

The more time we spend on the journey of growth, the more we learn how much room there is left to grow. If we’re not careful, this paradox can become crippling. 

However, the antidote to this anxiety is closer than we think. Just by being invested in the space of personal development, you are asking the right questions, which means you know the answers you’re looking for. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing the essence of self-improvement. Often times, we get tunnel vision and become so focused on the mission of bettering ourselves that we forget to zoom out and applaud our efforts in the first place.  Tune in to this conversation to learn continue the pursuit of personal development!

 “When you ride a bicycle—there aren’t enough books in the universe that can teach you balance.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:

A lack of self-worth is caused by the avoidance of sensation in the body.The first step to abundance is reclaiming the ability to feel. Understand that most problems are rooted in generations passing them down.Your world is just a reflection of the energy that is inside of you. Shift the frequency of your energy instead of changing the way you think. Making headway doesn’t work because you’re using your head; instead use your heart.Read The Talent Code by Daniel CoyleResearch shows that the brain can operate up to 3000x faster when wrapped in more myelin. 

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“The quality of your life depends on the questions you’re asking.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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Many of us are sensitive.

An offhand comment at work from a boss, or a challenging look from a significant other—these are the things that can often set us off course.

But are these moments actually doing what we say they’re doing? Or—have we just told ourselves that we’re sensitive, and we’re choosing to hold that identity to support the narrative.

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, Guy & Ilan pull back the curtain behind identity. When we attach labels to ourselves, we lock into a mode of thinking, closing off the doors to what’s possible.

Tune in to learn how to bypass this cognitive error we all make!

“All that’s required for resolution is: awareness.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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The Cliff Notes:There are 2 types of people: those who emit energy and those who take on energy.Uncork your problems by asking what part of me is being triggered right now.Be aware of when you’re validating your thoughts by selecting the experiences to remember.Don’t be committed to a single outcome.Choose to perceive sensitivity as a strength; vulnerability is what drives success. Look out for when your actions throw you back into survival patterns.All that’s required for resolution is awareness.Personality comes from the word “persona” — which means mask.Every 7 years, your cells have regenerated to form a completely new being. 

 “The outside world is there to serve you, to help you see the things inside you that you’re not willing to see.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

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“There’s a difference between intellectually understanding something and embodying and truly knowing it.” - Jason Prall

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  Everybody is talking about alignment. 

From yoga to organic eating, it seems that everywhere you turn—there is another business or person trying to sell alignment. 

When we begin to make the strides toward centering ourselves, we learn that alignment is not something you can acquire from the outside world.

Rather, we must look internally to find our true center. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Jason Prall of the Human Longevity Project to discuss alignment, and how we can find it. Jason Prall is a Longevity and Optimal Health Practitioner who works with individuals to provide solutions for those struggling with weight loss or suffering from complex health issues that their doctors have been unable to resolve.

Tune in to this conversation to learn how to gauge your center, so you can make the necessary adjustments everyday to stay aligned! You can learn more about Jason Prall here

“Looking outward is part of the path inward.” - Jason Prall

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The Cliff Notes:

It’s a Western idea to have a purpose—instead, seek and find meaning.The capitalistic division of labor makes us forget that everything is connected.No matter what you master, you will learn the same thing.Read Mastery by Robert Greene.Define your central axis of alignment so you know when you’re out of it.The body is here to express the subjective. Be aware of when you are judging the judger.The pain will not go away, but you can stop the suffering.Differentiate between reality and the talking points that major news/media outlets are serving to you.Look at how the Internet is proving what connection isn’t.Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to do anything to be loved. When you find the edges, you then know where the center lies.A mother will read the baby’s immune system through saliva and provide nutrients through breastmilk 

“Right now we’re in an era where scientists aren’t talking to each other.” - Jason Prall

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“I’ve had the biggest breakthroughs in my life when I’ve just stood still.” - Amina AlTai

(click to tweet)  We’re told busy is better. 

Wake up, workout, hustle all day, burn the midnight oil on your side hustle—this is the routine for success. Or, that’s at least what we’re told. 

But it turns out when we follow this protocol and frantically run about town, the money doesn’t cannot find us 

When we instead choose to sit with our thoughts and breathe through the anxieties—we can more swiftly navigate the puzzles and challenges of our day-to-day. And that is when the true wealth comes flowing our way.

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by brand strategist, wellness consultant, and speaker—Amina AlTai—to discuss the mechanics behind this mindset.  Tune in to learn how to achieve abundance without the frenzied demeanor the world tells us we need. 

You can learn more about Amina AlTai here

“We think we need all of these tools and frameworks, but you have to meet people where they need to go.” - Amina AlTai

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The Cliff Notes:

Take stock of what you need to celebrate in yourself and what you need to releaseRelieve yourself of the need to constantly be in motionWhen we are authentic with ourselves, we create the conduits towards clarityIf you are constantly moving around, then money cannot find you  The rise in mid-life crises is due to core beliefs changing and the rising collective consciousnessnessThere has never been an easier time for you to create a business from your giftYou can only see the benefits of meditation after conducting a 30-day meditation challengeAt the end of the day—humans just want love, connection, and peaceUnderstand that preparedness comes from a place of ego 

“We are never done. We have never arrived. We are never done peeling back the layers.” - Amina AlTai

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