Old Souls and Seekers

“Stop trying to make yourself feel better. Instead, get better at feeling.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

We want to achieve certain milestones.

So we write down these goals, and then make the daily efforts to hopefully achieve them one day. But typically that doesn’t happen, and we find ourselves in the same spot that we started in. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are reframing our understanding of goal-setting. Often times, the personal development space will put great emphasis on the importance of setting goals. However, if we take a step back and acknowledge how we truly move through space and time, we see that this method doesn’t help us achieve our dreams.  Tune in to this conversation to learn how to initiate forward progress through energy, and not goal-setting. 

“You are limiting yourself when you write down goals.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

The Cliff Notes:Hope disappears the moment you step up to perform the taskDon’t create goals out of a place of lackingThe waves you emit manifest and mirror the energy inside of youExternal goal-setting is like putting a band-aid on a cut that’s never going to heal itselfAsk yourself: am I safe right now? Then, take note of how you feel answering that questionThe buffers you’ve placed between you and the world are killing your ability to feelGive your anxiety space to be, instead of reaching for external things to fix itSay thank you to your triggers, for they remind you of the things you’ve been avoidingLet the river move you instead of trying to figure out how to move the river

“The body is so much more connected to soul than the mind ever will be.”  - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“You can either be right or I can be in love.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet)  

In theory, relationships should be effortless.

When two people unconditionally love each other, there are no moments of setback because love conquers all.

But we all know this isn’t the reality. The obstacles and hurdles of life often face us with great force, and our anxiety gets the best of us.

That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing how to save our relationships. During the most difficult times, it’s easy to lose sight of our commitments and fall into the trap of ego.

 Tune in to this conversation to learn how to defend against the internal explosion of anxiety, so you can stay with what’s important.

“Everyone’s point-of-view is 100% accurate and valid.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

The Cliff Notes:

Catch the energies inside your body before they lead to thoughtsRelationships are a commitment to love, connection, and intimacyRelieve headache by understanding that everyone’s point-of-view is validTap into compassion by trying to understand the perspective of those around youSeek out the uncomfortable conversations where you can own up to your mistakesReframe your relationships by understanding the hurdles that were required to go throughRealize that the incident is a highlighter for a much deeper, more meaningful issueEgo is driven by protectors we create during childhood

“Realize that the incident is a highlighter for a much deeper thing.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“The breakthroughs that one seeks are very rarely inside the arena that they’re having the breakdowns in.”  - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet)  Scheduling complicates our lives. 

We wake up every morning, go to work, maybe hit the gym, and then spend time with our loved ones. This segmentation of time tricks our systems into believing this is how life works—that a problem during work hours is caused by something during work hours or stagnation in a relationship is because of something inside the relationship.

When we zoom out, we can see the real mechanics at play. More often than not, an issue in one arena of life is caused by something in a completely unrelated place. 

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing how to achieve these breakthroughs. By stepping outside the logical realm and accessing the energy within ourselves, we can transcend the constraints our scheduled lives put on us.  Tune in to this conversation to hear how to breakthrough your roadblock, so you can have it all!

“The way that you judge yourself is the way you judge others.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

The Cliff Notes: 

Very rarely are your breakthroughs in the arenas you are having your breakdowns in. Understand that you’re focusing on a question, not so much a problem.Recognize when you are getting angry at yourself, not the externalities.See how the circumstances are shining a light on inside yourself. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Feel instead of trying to band-aid your problems with positive thinking, hypnotherapy exercises, etc. There is no cause and effect, instead all affects all.Reprogramming the subconscious comes from working with energy, not logic.You can only create more safety by expanding your system, not your mind.Identity traps you in a needing to verify that you are right. 

“Mindset can change the story.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman

(click to tweet) 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Everybody has a right to their own soul.” - Peter Smith

(click to tweet)

Most people have a finite understanding of life.

Society drills this into our heads—the idea that we’re born one day and we die another is something most of us never question. But what happens when we look inward and challenge this simplistic notion of life?

We start to invite the ideas of afterlife into our consciousness. And when we do this, our  day-to-day changes drastically. Those triggers and moments of anxiety no longer have weight, because they are a fraction of our infinite existence.

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Peter Smith. Peter is the President of the Newton Institute, and in this conversation—he dives deep into the worlds of existence that we typically don’t look at.  Tune in to this conversation to reframe your understanding of death, so you can live a more meaningful life.

You can learn more about The Newton Institute here

 “Fundamentally, we are spiritual beings having human experiences.” - Peter Smith

(click to tweet) 

The Cliff Notes:

Read Journey of Souls by Michael NewtonActivate the immortal soul within yourself to transcend the human conditionChoose to perceive conflict as an opportunity to learnRaise the vibration of humanity to new eras of human consciousness Research shows 70% of the U.S. population is on some sort of pharmaceutical drugThere is a use-case for anxiety, we’re not supposed to walk down a dark alley at 3AMRecognize when struggle is the source of your connectionUnderstand that the people around you chose to have their experienceFind the balance between letting something be and administering guidance“Magic becomes more real the more you believe in it.”

 “We have a responsibility not just to humanity, but what goes beyond that.” - Peter Smith

(click to tweet)  

 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“You’re most likely living a reflection of what’s around you.” - Ajit Nawalkha (click to tweet) Success is difficult to achieve. That’s because we grow up in a society or family that tells us a specific definition of it, and then our adult life has us steering the ship toward that target point. During the journey, we think about the destination, which entirely removes us from the moment (where success lives.) So the question becomes: how do we reorient our definition? On today’s episode of Personal Development  Without The Fluff, we are joined by entrepreneur, speaker, coach, and author—Ajit Nawalkha—to discuss success. Ajit co-founded the company Mindvalley and is the author of Live Big.  In this episode, he debunks some myths around success, and why we must separate our passions from our interests or what’s exciting us in the moment.   Tune in to this conversation, so you can more purposefully pursue your future! You can learn more about Ajit Nawalkha here and order his book Live Big here “Purpose is not where you get to. Purpose is where you are.” - Ajit Nawalkha (click to tweet) The Cliff Notes: Distinguish between external success and the feelings of internal success Nail down your definition of success before pursuing any specific way of life Don’t fall into the trap of listening to the highlight reels of external messaging Start your side business while you still have your job Let your dream build you instead of trying to build your dream Separate passions from interests or things you’re excited about Find the things that have stuck with you for a very long time Understand that not all passions are profitable Research shows higher depression rates in entrepreneurs Set long-term goals - life is not year-to-year     “A highlight reel is not your life.” - Ajit Nawalkha (click to tweet)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Bringing a spiritual response to loss is about keeping your heart open.” - Uma Girish (click to tweet)  Nothing compares to the pain of loss. When someone we love dies, we feel the ache coursing through our entire bodies. We are convinced that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But if we take a moment to look at the impermanence of nature around us, we can understand that the human soul is designed to deal with loss. It’s our society that creates ideas, like having to deal with it by yourself, that complicate our relationship with the inevitable grieving we all experience. That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Uma Girish to discuss grief. Uma is a grief guide & author, and in this episode—she shares her insights on the best methods for dealing with loss. Tune in to this conversation to learn how to approach grief in the most healthy way possible. You can learn more about Uma Girish here “People have a great need to tell their story of loss.” - Uma Girish (click to tweet)   The Cliff Notes: The first step to grief therapy is venting, or telling the story of your loss Learn how to handle your emotions with journaling, breathwork, and letter writing Understand how the ideas you were exposed to as a child shape your views today Nature lives under the law of impermanence, everything that is living will die Trauma will be passed on generation to generation until someone stops it Recognize when you’re using guilt as a way to beat yourself up Sit and cry instead of jumping straight to positive thinking and gratitude journaling In eastern cultures, grief is more of a community experience than individual The American ideals of individualism prevent us from seeing offers and opportunities of help   “Grieving is a form of self-care.” - Uma Girish (click to tweet)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“It’s not about feeling good in life. It’s about getting better at feeling.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman (click to tweet) It’s easy to say no. All you have to do is find something else to do, and over time you will forget about the moment you submitted to your anxiety and fear. However, the next time that situation presents itself, the same feelings will resurface and you won’t have the built skillset required to transcend the challenge.   That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Jenny Taylor to discuss the importance of saying yes. Often in our lives, we run into challenging situations that trigger our reflex to turn the other way. When we do this, we validate our anxieties, making it more difficult to conquer them. Tune in to this conversation to hear how to reverse this habit, and create a more forward-thinking approach to your day-to-day! You can learn more about Jenny Taylor here “’I’m not worthy’ is the largest epidemic of human beings on planet earth.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman (click to tweet)   The Cliff Notes: Be careful of slipping into other abusive relationships after removing yourself from them Most have not spent the time to look inside themselves, even the most successful people The only way to stay in victim energy is to have a villain We wear masks and play roles because at the root, we are scared and fearful Most people’s anger is attached to something that served and protected them Approach parenting as an opportunity to learn about yourself Recognize when an attachment to work becomes unhealthy Just because something produces a result doesn’t mean it’s the best method For self-care, take the time to meditate and journal Understand if fear and sadness lie at the root of your anxiety Ask yourself whether alcohol consumption is doing positive or negative things  

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Asking questions about being puts you further away from it.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman (click to tweet)  We think there’s a fix for all of our problems. But sometimes, we meet our match. Maybe it’s a work deadline, or a relationship issue—something that ultimately tips the scale. In these moments, we fish for our mantra or breathing exercise, anything that will neutralize the anxiety. But what if instead of searching for a solution, we surrendered to the problem? It turns out that there are times when this is the best answer, when letting go letting go is the only solution. That’s why on today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are discussing the neverending game of surrender. In today’s anxiety-filled world, it’s difficult to find silence and being with so much external noise. Tune in to this conversation to learn how to surrender, so you can find peace & calmness inside yourself. “Your opportunity in sadness is as great as your opportunity in happiness.” - Guy & Ilan Ferdman (click to tweet)

The Cliff Notes: Reframe the feeling of being destroyed as being “de-story-ed” Our culture is shifting from individualism to a tribal framework Don’t label your states as positive or negative, they are a constantly swinging like a pendulum Watch if the mind reacts differently without creating too much story around it Focus on the auditory while meditating to make the act of being easier Distinguish between whether you want money or safety and support Understand that inside the chaos is what pushes evolution forward When it comes to mastery, the people at the front are all seeing the same thing Shift your awareness from reacting to curiosity for why we are you reacting a certain way

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“It’s always about how they feel, rather than how they think.” - Poppy & Geoff (click to tweet)   A relationship can be difficult   Often, we find ourselves sitting on the couch bickering when all we want is to exist in peace and  harmony. When the reality doesn’t align with our hopes and wishes, we become frustrated and fall deeper into the wormhole of negativity.   So the question becomes: how do you create a relationship that facilitates the good emotions: happiness, excitement, and motivation.   On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by Poppy & Geoff to uncover the secrets. Poppy & Geoff’s story is a unique one—at college graduation, they broke off their relationship, only to be reunited 37 years later. They share their insights on the importance of communication and fostering a deeper connection with your partner.   Tune in to this conversation to learn how to reframe your relationship, so you can approach it with a more positive outlook.   You can learn more about Poppy & Geoff here “Share what you’re thinking. Don’t fill in the blanks.” - Poppy & Geoff (click to tweet)

The Cliff Notes: Research shows that tactile tools help you sort thoughts from highly charged emotions. Seek out solutions that make you feel better, not just think better thoughts. Take the Myers—Briggs to get a personality assessment based on preference. Extroversion/introversion is defined as how people get their energy. Create an overarching context of: nobody can do anything to you. Gunnysacking is when a person stores grievances to share at one time. Share your worst fears to open the door to the other person. We perceive people will respond in the way we would operate. Studies show when your heart rate goes over 100 BPM, you lose your ability to hear. Ask your children what they think the consequences of their behavior should be.   “Cognitive bypass is when you don’t censor your words.” - Poppy & Geoff (click to tweet)

   

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices