Old Wives

We're in Bavaria this week, to meet a prince who falls for a fairy under the river, leaving his existing fiancée in the dust. When he realizes his mistake, the years have flown by, and taken their toll. He lives out his life in quiet isolation, but he deserves it because he's a feet guy. Be prepared for MULTIPLE ripple wipes, as we travel backwards and forwards in time.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

This week, from the Slav Peasants and Herdsmen comes a tale of, well, everything. A princess is left to die on a deserted island. In spite of everything, she thrives, at least until she pisses off her downstairs neighbor, an ogre with sleep breath. Luckily, a prince has assembled a superfluous army and is on his way to save her—with an assist from Baba Yaga and a magic horse inhabited by Keith Richards.

(the ad pans to the driveway where a horse is standing with a big red bow on its back)

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Georgia to meet a kid whose name we can't pronounce and his eight brothers who are dogs. The kid's relationship with his mother is tested by her new boyfriend, and this sends him on a series of encounters that net him a strong bow, a sweet hut, a princess impressed by his jumping ability, and some friends to help him out of jams. Unfortunately, everybody dies.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Join us in Poland, where a strange devil with crab hands has got a king by the beard. The king makes a deal to get free, unwittingly tagging in his own son, and the prince will have to head straight to the underworld to sort things out. With a little help from the devil's daughter, the prince might even stay alive long enough to see some pigeons perform Shakespeare on his wedding day. Yes, you read that right.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Join us in Italy to meet Lionbruno, a fisherman's son with great bone structure who gets engaged to a fairy when a deal with the devil goes sideways. He gets cocky after receiving a magic ring, and his exploits trap him in another betrothal to a princess he doesn't love. Luckily, a wet t-shirt contest between the fairy and the princess will tip things in his favor. He'll have to walk his way back to the fairy's arms—and don't worry, it gets weird.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Italy this week to hear about two women, their two daughters, and two little pizzas. The good daughter shares her pizza at the wellspring, but the bad daughter refuses and is cursed. The king sends for the good daughter and gets the cursed one instead, and it'll take a choir of giant ducks to clear things up. But when the king realizes his error and finds the right daughter? Baby, you might say That's Amore.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in The Philippines this week to hear about a widow and her son. The son steps out for a normal hunting trip, when a wild pig leads him into a cave—and a curse. After consuming an irresponsible amount of wine and wandering into danger, a voice tells the kid to FIGHT, and he'll obey. But when the dust settles and the beat drops, he'll have no choice to wonder: were they ever really his enemies to begin with? Join us for a story of giants, warriors, mysterious third-act wives.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

It's Halloween week, so we've got two Vampire stories for you that go together like pumpkins and pumpkin carving injuries. A girl meets a handsome dancer at a St. Andrew's Day party, but things sour when she follows him to the church at midnight. Then, a Tzarivna's corpse is turning citizens to dust, until a boy with a talking icon of St. Michael shows up to end her reign of destruction. Can our heroes defeat the undead? IS every ghost story a love story? And how many nuts does it take to kill a vampire, anyway? Join us to get spooked!

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in Greenland to meet Qujâvârssuk. He's unusual from day one, born into a family of two loving parents and an old wizard who lives with them. Qujâvârssuk quickly discovers a knack for hunting seals, but that won't do him any good so long as the sea is frozen over. Things get psychedelic when wizards start dueling with golems, but spring will come eventually—if everyone can mind the magic, and their manners.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

This week we're in Croatia to meet three brothers and their grandfather who live in a magical forest. Rage Tzar and King of Hobgoblindom Rampogusto decides to put an end to their cottagecore fantasy life of beekeeping and wood-chopping. But beautiful sun youth All-Rosy has other plans. Join us for a story about staying true to yourself that involves at least one more demon water park than you might expect!

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.