It seems like it was only last week that Perestroika happened (or was it Glasnost, we find it so hard to tell with these modern haircuts) and One Life Left was made free of the cruel oppressor that took over our airwaves for three minutes every week. Oh, who are we kidding, we still miss you and your constantly self-promoting ways Derek. But Comrade Daria is hopefully a worthy replacement with her Command Market Economy.

Our super-special guest Alex May, tries to hide some exclusives from us and - for the most part - he succeeds, but we manage to get some colours announced for our fans of colours in games. He also has a smooth voice that made at least one person in the OLL chat room go weak at the knees. But that might have been when they saw how much a hotel room in Nottingham costs.

Apologies for the delay in uploading this, there were issues with our caretaker's broadband. We also have the usual apology for anyone offended by Craig's poem, but you should be used to that by now.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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Sad news this week (cue the music from The Incredible Hulk) as someone announces his (or her) (hopefully temporary) retirement from the show (The title gives it away you idiot - ed). The aftershocks of this announcement will be felt for some time, or until Ste finds a way to fill in the spare three minutes.

Away from news that will bring a tear to a glass eye, we have a super-special guest in the form of Nick Cowen, who shows us how freelance journalism works as he not only works in the clean, pristine world of FM radio, but also is prepared to get dirty in the disgusting world of medium wave. Brrr.

There's a bumper letters section that we have to split into two sections. Listen to see if you won a copy of Dark Souls or if you were insulted by Ste when he was drunk.

Not a huge amount of features, but the ever reliable Derek and the reliably Week A Wiki Wah-Wah-ing Duncan are more than capable of keeping you entertained. We hope.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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One Life Left is a radio show about videogames. Prepare to die! This week the team talk about Dark Souls. Prepare to die! They recall the EG Expo and the party afterwards. Prepare to die! They remember how they behaved. Prepare to die, inwardly, on-air. SORRY EVERYONE.

Also in this episode:

++ The longest news story in OLL history!

++ A somewhat laborious analogy for the difficulty in Dark Souls which will only work for people familiar with early 2000s UK pop, i.e. Ste and Ann and other Popjustice veterans

++ An EXCLUSIVE Sabrepulse track! Sort of. It might be exclusive. Let's say it's exclusive

Also more brilliant music, reviews and some fabulous features including the last of the current batch from game designer Ella. Join OLL in thanking and congratulating her. We hope she'll be back for Season 8...

This is the final week without our caretaker so expect a better description and more timely podcast next week. It can't come soon enough, frankly. Real work is exhausting!

Until then,

Team OLL

xxx

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Bonjour! Welcome to a very French One Life Left, or at least a very French first few seconds for no reason that we can determine. Any ideas why Ann's gone Gallic? Emails to the usual address. We'd love some letters next week...

Also on the show:

++ Special guest, GMA Lady-in-Chief Caroline Miller gives OLL the once over before the commiseration ceremony at the end of the month

++ A Zumba-d out Derek Williams makes a special appeal for musicians to lend him a helping hand

++ The team spend a whole song trying to find a rhyme for 'Virgin'

And the usual features, news, reviews and chat. Music this week courtesy of Je Mappelle, Fantomenk, MisfitChris and Victory Road. Tune in on Monday for a new episode or bide your sweet time for another podcast next week. It takes an awful lot to get it up for you these days, you know (no offence). Hopefully we'll manage to get next week's episode on the internet before our beloved Fluffer / Caretaker returns from his much deserved break... 

Until then,

Team OLL xxx

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We feel bad for Techland, the creators of Dead Island. All that work they did on making a really good trailer ruined by them sending the wrong version by accident.

Luckily, we don't do anything as daft here at One Life Left. There's still no super-special guest so it's just Ste, Ann and the Feminist Whore presenting. However, we more than make up for this by providing you with a haunting Glee-style rendition of the Assassin's Creed theme. Except without any twenty five year-old pretending to be cheerleaders.

We also help explain how to make games via the medium of cakes. It's just like that episode of Ace Of Cakes where they made a cake, but about videogames.

Contributors this week are Derek, the doyouinverts' Austerity Pleasures, Ella's Game Design Masterclass and Matt & Steve's Amazing Pokemon Week. Something for everyone, as long as everyone likes either the games chart, cheap games, how to make games or Pokemon.

In other fourth-wall breaking news, the caretaker is going on holiday for two weeks so Ste will be back in charge of uploading the next two podcasts. Therefore do not expect them to be released every Tuesday like the caretaker has almost done every week. And how do you repay him? By tweeting the show or writing to the website moaning about how it was a few hours late or because there wasn't even a show that week. You lot deserve Ste and his poor podcast uploading timekeeping skills.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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It's hard going back to work, even after only one week away. Except because of the sheer professionalism of Team OLL you won't notice that.

You might notice that we're missing some super special guests. Perhaps their Mums were allowing them an extra day off to stay at Center Parcs or to go to Skeggy Beach or something. Either way we'll have some super special guests for next week. Maybe.

As well as our excellent contributors (Derek, Doctor Avatar and Craig this week) we talk about CoDexp and Kanye attending the launch event. We're hopeful of getting R Kelly to come to our rival OLLExp event. What's that, he's cancelled? Ok, Bubba Sparxxx then. MC Hammer? Who can we have then? MC Skat Kat? We give up.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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There's nothing we enjoy more than talking about putting sensors on our body and seeing how aroused games make us. Luckily this week we finally have an excuse to do so as Graham McAllister from Vertical Slice talks to us about - no! but yes! - measuring arousal from a professional gaming capacity. Try to hear the part where Graham applies the sensors to Ste. All we can say is Graham has very cold hands, but a warm heart.

Simon is also back from Canada and Germany and we've missed his amazingly smooth segue-waying ability. It's so smooth that you won't even realise when we move onto something new. Simon also tells us about GDC Europe and the talk he attended that was hosted by The Honourable Lord Sir Charles Cecil.

Contributors this week are Derek Williams, the doyouinverts' Austerity Pleasures, Matt and Steve's Amazing Pokemon Week (and not Mel and Kim as our caretaker originally wrote it), a new Our Game Letter and the always excellent Ella giving more advice to budding (and experienced) game designers.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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First off, we owe an apology to Simon. Last week we accused him of sabotaging our show, but now we've had the time to think it was probably of our our rivals for the GMAs. Especially since we've been the victims of further skulduggery which made us delay uploading this week's podcast. It couldn't have been fellow GMA nominee and last week's guest Jane Douglas could it? No, almost certainly not.

We do have another super-special guest presenter this week in Noodlefruit's Ron Festejo. Will he recognise us after four years away? Probably, once we start making errors. At least he helps us fix broken Nintendo.

And there's our amazing contributors Derek Williams, Doctor Avatar, Ariel Angelotti and Craig 'the Rage' McLelland. So it's another episode of the excellent GMA nominated gaming radio show. And it's on the super-excellent FM radio, not crackly medium wave!

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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Okay London, we hear you. Perhaps Simon being away and forgetting to tip that waitress was too much for you to deal with. But there was no need to riot over it.

Especially as we had an excellent replacement with GameSpot's Jane Douglas. She coped pretty well with our typically hard hitting questions and also with the microphone problems we had. Sorry about that, Simon must have taken the correct leads with him as a form of sabotage.

The doyouinverts keep trying to save us money through legal methods with their Austerity Pleasures, Matt and Steve have another Amazing Pokemon Week and Ella creates a new gaming masterpiece.

Was Derek on this week's show? We honestly can't remember (Note to Caretaker - delete Derek's bit from this podcast. He needs to know his place).

All this and we announce the dates for our GameCity Karaoke Night! So be there or be somewhere else!

Cheerio,
Team OLL x

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We always go on about our super-special guests in these introductions, so for a change why don't we put our excellent contributors at the front for once? In this episode we've got Derek Williams our constantly self-promoting market stall holder, Craig 'The Rage' McClelland our amazing gaming poet in residence, the doyouinverts moving from making fantastic music to helping you save money with their Austerity Pleasures and Doctor Avatar trying his superb best to stop our gaming superstars from dying.

And, of course, there's the listeners. Not only do you treat us with a bumper crop of letters, but you also joined us in our Google Hangout (although we then realised that only 10 people can hangout at once and our useless Caretaker didn't even tweet the link like we asked him too). We even had a special competition for those on the hangout, but you can still e-mail us your entries if you want to.

What else happened? Oh we talked about games for once (it must have been our anniversary or something) and Dave Green sent us some lyrics for Ann to sing to music. As long as she gets within a midge's minim of the start of when she needs to sing it will be great.

Cheerio!
Team OLL x

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