your heart will never break again
once you realize the absence you grieve
is a presence within asking to receive
the magic you perceive is but you staring
into yourself
I wish I could see you from as many
perspectives as your mind composes
I wish I could be the words you write
see from their vantage
to feel your smile as I'm pulled
by your immersive gaze and melt into
meaning
blister into belonging and never scab
every time you hit the right note
your eyes are a slow light ablaze
glimmering through every disappearing dusk
I wish I knew what it was like to be the pen you hold
the way your grip tightens when a line makes you bleed
smearing black ink like a painting touched with a new feeling
the keys you type on with fervor and passion like you mean it
I wish I could be a feeling
to cleanse in the scent of your tears
to not need a sea but dive in the current of
your name
and purify the body that carries you
I want to be the lone freckle in your right eye
to know how it feels to be submerged in a
vision
breathing
never coming up for air
never needing to in order to feel alive
as the rest of your vessels contract
your eyes remind me of another way to breathe
you're so hot
even though you've been silent most of your life
how I wish I could feel what your lips felt
the moment they spoke
feel the way they quivered before separating
the rush of your release
I want to exist as the air they press upon
collapse between their symmetry
and fall into its shape carved by your exhale
you're so hot
I wish I could see you without a mirror
know what it is to really see you
then write a poem about the way I do
what other choice could my body bear to
seep
without a barrier that only shows your reflection
I want to undress the glass as it shatters between us
feel you reach for me like I do when I reach for my voice
you're so hot
when you believe in a dream
let reality retract
until you're refracted in a realm of your calling
how I want to hear the volume of your cords raise arpeggios in the heat of an answer please always keeps answering
I want to be the floor you walk upon
feel the whole of you without fracturing
I want to be the fragment of the imagination you extract
be inside its prism that directs the sun where to shine
I want to feel the sun when its rays devour you
only your silhouette remains
I want to know what she feels
in her knowing of how only she can unearth
your red highlights
through your hair the shade of burnt cocoa nearly black
translate your DNA strand by strand layer by layer
until I'm stripped inside your particles
I want to dive deeper inside your depth
you taught me how my oxygen dissolves if I stay on the surface
I want to be the silence that enters you
feel the electricity of your insight
what it is to be let in through you
let me be your iron
the blood that moves you
let me be inside your veins
when your heart starts racing
like a river that knows where it flows
and how it will never empty but overflow
to move me like you tend to love's motion
is to know me in a nestled notion
in the ache of devotion
you're so hot
you're more than human
poetry written by a god you recreated
living inside you
resurrecting me
no wonder so many angels surround you
it's your essence that penetrates the tincture
pulling heaven down around us
you hide behind metaphor until you're
prompted
to tell me why you're so hot
it was never a secret
you wanted to be seen
your truth transparent
of what you've always been trying to say
I believe first you had to love yourself
become intimate with the muscle that knows more than your pain
the way you glow when you can command grief where to go
to make the vow to never bathe in concealment
for you have always known on the other side
you're so hot
the way you walk through your fears of open spaces
how bodies of water breathe you into the timing of their waves
to permeate your lungs with verses of vitality
the way you feel the panic despite
so you can live enough to write the poem
to write the poem is why you are alive
you're so hot when you think of me
thinking of other women
the way you look at them
in a transfixed glaze
you knew there was no coming back to any other
after the eye contact of the solvent of your spirit
you're so hot
the way you show me how to
keep coming back
keep me from missing you
after you became the first to never leave
keep me listening as your body whispers
indelible ink on fabric so delicate
delving into the geometry of your core
the truth is
how will I ever know another
the way you see me and I in you
I hope you always remember
I know I’m never alone
for you alone exist
- Jacqueline McCoy
More from Jacqueline McCoy ↓
* @kaleidoscope_eyesx0 on Instagram
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