One Poem Only is a daily ritual: one poem, center stage, just for now.
This is How I DieKris AzizThis is how I dieGlass reflecting moonlighton the pavementMetal and gasoline mixing withBlood in the airA paramedic holding my hand
Except, wait-- rewind.I chose to get Taco BellBefore getting on the highwayAfter all.I don't worry about the caloriesOr how a dress will fitAfter all, I have a coupon forA free soft tacoThat says "you deserve it".I am not dead, I am eating aNacho fry Baja blast chalupaIn standstill traffic.
No, this is how I die:An empty bottle with one undrunkDrop of poison drippingOn the floor, mixing with theSweat on my blanketsShivering through my last feverWith nobody to hold my hand
Except, wait-- rewind.This time I chose to text my friendTo speak my pain into existenceAnd arm myself with herwords of love and worry.She brings me a Chicken Enchilada BurritoWith extra Diablo sauce.I am not dead,I am sleeping soundlySafe in my bedWith many dreams to come.
No, this is how I die:In a hospiceBreathing life throughan oxygen maskI am surrounded byThose who love meEnough to sneak inA Mountain Dew Baja Blast.
I am telling my grandkids aboutThat one time in the Himalayas.They don’t understand what I’m sayingUntil I pronounce it“Him-uh-LAY-uhs”.Their overbearing AmericanizationIs too much for my impatient heartI love them dearlyAnd am only leaving for a short time.
This is how I lived:Flirting with Death and cursing GodHeld together by soft tacosAnd nicotineTesting the limits of existenceWith recklessness andScraped together wordsEmbracing the joyEnduring the hurt
Now this is how I live:Pouring words on a pageEven though I am just aBoy/Girl/Ghost/Person,Not a poetShowing my heart to strangersHolding my own hand.
More from Kris Aziz ↓
- @tacobelltrauma on Instagram
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Write After: National Poetry Month with One Poem Only
Write After is a way to encourage poets to listen and write, and use National Poetry Month to highlight how listening to poetry makes us better poets. I know I write the best when I’m surrounded by beautiful poetry–it’s part of the reason I created this podcast, and I want to encourage others to share this practice.