Wait, why are you here? Stop it. Learn to follow directions, okay?

So it is written in the good book. Not to be confused with Prisoner of Azkaban, which is also a good book. Let's talk about bad places to hear "Oops," words that spark joy, the complex navigation of social constructs in regards to children in their formative years, and what exactly Dwight Schrute said in that one Office episode.

Take that, logic puzzles. Let's talk about TV shows that get good later, the worst candy, proper clothing care, and DESTROYING YOUR ENEMIES if those enemies are children.

We're really settling into the new year with some very highbrow humor. Let's talk about bad advice, songs to drive very very fast to, ketchup schemes, and waking up on time for life.

Hey there, you. You're doing a great job. Let's talk about illegal food combos, unrealistic things in movies, stealing cars one piece at a time, and lying to your future bosses.

Sarah comes in with an entirely different life outlook this time, so come on and let's talk about perfect sequels, "nice" things that you wish people wouldn't do, feeding your neighbors, hallway cooking, and how to cultivate charisma.

Triple-dipping, baby! Let's talk about a horrible movie, nostalgic sounds, things only annoying people say, appletarianism, pocket jerky, and burglar-prevention methods.

Back for more, huh? Then let's talk about idiots, god-like powers, embarrassing notes, self-empowerment, and OH NO I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

It's our premiere episode, what'd'ya want? We start everything off with animals the size of whales, cheap foods for rich people, drive-thru justice, and making friends.

Maybe this promo is more your speed! If it's not, we won't judge you. Much. Starting tomorrow.