OPEN GRAVES

Welcome to Open Graves After Dark with Rocky Slaughter, an alleged recovering goth who keeps getting pulled back in. We jump right into the darkness with discussion of growing up a feral latchkey child and loving it, family tragedy turning metalhead anger into goth depression, and a deep desire to be different from a young age, but once finding community, no longer feeling the need to perform this difference. We talk about his start DJing in 1998, being so goth he got girls by rolling around on the ground, storytelling through setlists, and making Vesta miserable at Bar Sin. Tune back in for part two in which we address the cliffhangers: Rozz Williams, empathy, and The Other Gargoyle.

We apologize for literally talking about the weather, but we are on the porch talking #summergoth and what this time of year means for us. Between kayaking, beach and lake bathing, and all of the goth pool parties, this time of year brings some behaviors that might seem incongruous with our usual identities. We talk about how we adapt (and don’t), how we are really not that different even though it looks different, and how the journey toward spooky season feels like its own often overlooked rite of passage. Happy Augtober. 

In our most literal Open Graves yet, we are recording a mini-sode in the cemetery. Heather and Vesta catch up after what we will politely call a hiatus, due to chaotic personal lives. Chill with us until we get kicked out of the cemetery. Please bear with some wind interference sounds around 8mins. As Heather cannot stop saying, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. Smoke ‘em if you goth ‘em?

After a brief recap of Obelisk’s one year anniversary party, we are joined by fellow valley-goth DJ, Randy LeoDragon. He discusses wrangling goths for the film industry through the Bat Pack and being an ethical goth consultant to oblivious casting directors, he shares what songs he won’t play, and some basic human condition questions (like how do you load a TP roll?). You can find Randy DJing Studio 84 on even weeks and The Alternative (along with Heather!) on the odds, and hit up Lotus Events for your alt wedding needs! This episode is dedicated to the memory of Tim Sinn.

We are back to talk about the neurodivergence of it all: the prevalence of ADHD, Autism Spectrum, synesthesia, and “hautism” in the goth community. People who are drawn to subculture seem to be having the human experience a little differently, but what exactly is that difference? We talk about the relationship of CPTSD to neurodivergence, the difference between capital T and lowercase t T/trauma, the intersection of hyper-vigilance and empathy, and generally having no chill. When everything is everything, meaning that we don’t have the ability to compartmentalize to the degree that is valued by a productivity obsessed society, overwhelm might be the unifying feeling that pushes some of us to the margins. But really, are neurotypicals even real?

Depression gets all the stereotyped attention when it comes to diagnosing the goth community, but it is not news that we have higher than average proportion of neuro-spicy members, specifically Autism Spectrum and ADHD (your hosts have a bit of both!) We discuss why people whose brains experience the world differently are drawn to subculture, and more specifically to this one. This can be a desire for routine and repetition, synesthesia, how the baggage of the “gifted child” plays a hand, and what happens to the psyche when your best self feels inaccessible. We also talk about what it means to be “Hautistic” (Vesta thought she coined this but Urban Dictionary says otherwise), meaning how attractive people, especially women, go undiagnosed given access to a different form of masking. Oh, and we end up diagnosing Wednesday and Gomez Addams as on the Autism Spectrum.

As we get deeper into the hospitality rider’s worth of wine, Matthew Setzer tells us more about getting into flesh hook suspension, playing a Skinny Puppy show right after getting his vasectomy, balls in general, and not over-identifying with the label of goth. We also discuss making music with biofeedback, creative frailty, a love of being on the road, productive hyperactivity vs. dissociative hyperactivity, changing your relationship to your art once it’s out in the world, and learning about racism only after moving to LA from Montana. Catch Matthew playing with  Front Line Assembly and Gary Numan, April 7th at the Fonda!

We are honored to be joined by Matthew Setzer, who you may recognize from such projects as Skinny Puppy, London After Midnight, and most recently Front Line Assembly, but also from around LA nightlife. He talks with us about growing up a small-town outcast, finding goth and industrial music through the guidance of his older brother, joining a band that they both loved since their youth, becoming a successful guitarist who shirks guitar culture, and we get a brief live acoustic rendition of Stagger Lee (but not that one). From tennis to flesh hook suspension to publicity through music being used as a literal torture device at Guantanamo Bay, there is a lot to unpack over a hospitality rider’s worth of wine. 

After a holiday hiatus, we’re back in the graves! This topic comes up in some capacity in almost every episode, so we decided to focus on it intentionally: mental health in the goth community. Depression, anxiety, substance use - our community is full of these, but are they actually more prevalent in our subculture or just more visible? The sad girls talk interventions, therapy, crying in public, and sparkling sadness. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Libby Parham. 

Trauma takes a front seat in part two of our conversation with Bob Gardner, and from there it’s a whole journey (content warning: the darkness circles back at 1:01:40 - 1:03:20 with discussion of childhood sexual abuse). Darkness as our copilot, we also hear empowering stories about the 7 hour train ride to Slimelight in London which he then wouldn’t leave until 7am, sex and drugs and bodily functions, differences of heteronormativity and gender nonconformity in the UK and US goth scenes, and the oasis that is Whitby Goth Weekend. Bob shares his experience with adult ADHD diagnosis and its relationship to past self-medication, some shared hot takes on how access to therapy and diagnosis in general has effected and potentially reduced rampant drug culture in our heavily neurodivergent scene, and the value of empathy over pity. It’s an articulated lorry of baggage and we’re here for it.