Have you ever made choices or decisions in haste, anger, while confused, or while intoxicated, and at the time you thought they were the right decisions, but found out it was in fact a mistake? Now your're trying to find your way forward, but the mistake has you bound to that choice you made. It could have been 30 years ago, 2 years ago, or it could be something as recent as last month. Now, your left with trying to find a way out, not knowing where to start or how to start.

First off dealing with life is hard at times, especially as a christian. You are trying to navigate life utilizing your new relationship with Christ, but you still have some worldly views and you have to learn how to become selfless and not be selfish. If you only concern yourself with what you feel and not about others, then you are selfish. Jesus concerned himself with the world, and though he may not have sat with you physically, he died for you on the cross at Calvary and paid the ulitmate selfless act for your redemption. He gave his life as a ransom for you to be free. 

This christian walk requires selfless behavior, an attitude of servitude, and it requires forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you've made, any regrets you may have about decisions and choices, learn from those mishaps, don't allow them to affect or control who you are becoming through Christ Jesus. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us trapped in a box, bound to failures, pain, hurts and disappointments, he doesn't want you to experience the freedom you can have in Christ. He doesn't want you to move forward, but in fact wants to keep you down so that you will give up and continue living a life that is not fullfilling your full potential.

Most struggles in life are designed to mature us spiritually on how to deal with people, jobs, friends, family, and your enemies. The key is learning the lesson while going through the struggles gaining wisdom while in it, gain strength from it and move forward. Instead of holding your head down hiding because you are disgusted with outcomes from choices you made, we have to recognize the teaching. Pray asking the Lord what am I supposed to learn in this lesson? What am I missing or what am I lacking? Ask for wisdom on how to move forward and what steps need to be taken in order to get clarity for your own life and the directions that you need to go to fullfill where the Lord is leading you?

I know that while your in the middle of a struggle all you notice is the turmoil it's causing, the damage you are sustaining and you just want it to end. It's as if you've been boxed in and there's no way to escape. You're alone or it seems as though you're alone, but I can truly tell you, that as long as you have Christ, you'll never be alone, he is always with you.

We have to learn how to surrender our whole life to the Lord. I mean every aspect of it. I remember just giving him one part of my life, and not wanting to give it all, because I thought I knew what was best for me. When I matured, I realized that I was missing out on what the Lord was preparing me for, it was his plan of redemption for my life, to give me hope, peace, love, joy, and the freedom from the bondage, that I was keeping myself in. I had to escape the box that kept me captive to bad choices and decisions.

I'm free now more than ever and I refuse to be placed back into a box of captivity, designed to rob me of the blessings from my heavenly father. I refuse to become stagnant and not working for his kingdom, or doing his will, it's not about me, it's all about what he wants me to do, and I am a willing vessel. Freedom is so exhilerating, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding now and my life is able to go forward, because I chose to let go of the guilt, shame, disappointments, unforgiveness, and pain from past struggles, mistakes and bad decisions.

My prayer for you is that you surrender your whole life, give it all to the Lord, Your hurt, pain, frustrations, your marriage, kids, jobs, friendships, enemies, your past failures, finances and your health. Allow the Lord to free you from your burdens.

As always I thank you for listening to open the wound and pray that it's truly healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul. Don't forget to leave feedback on any episode you've listened to and hit that subscribe button.  If you are in need of prayer please do not hesitate to send a request and I will go into prayer on your behalf. 

Is peace truly attainable? 

Having peace is something that everyone should strive to have.

After the storms of life, peace should come right?

The concept of peace is primarily, wholeness, total health, total welfare. It covers the person as a whole. The mind, spirit, body and soul of a person. 

When I was going through my struggles in life, I had no peace, no emotional peace, physical peace, no mental peace, my spiritual walk was all over the place. I was confused, and did not know which way was up. When I started reading the word of the Lord, it began to show me the peace that I was seeking. The peace I was seeking no man could give it to me, and no man could take it away, but it could be given away if I allowed it. 

I recall many times just sitting in my room crying asking the Lord to help me with my anger, help me with loving people that don't mean me any good, to help me see what it is that I maybe doing wrong to deserve this treatment? I asked the Lord to help me and to comfort me, to help me to feel better about myself and others, to help me to forgive so that I can be forgiven. I read the word of the Lord and John 16:33 says I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. Okay, Lord, but what does that have to do with what I am feeling? This is what was revealed to me. If I Tabatha stop looking to the world or for the world to give me the peace, love, joy, and comfort, and look to the Lord who says he will keep me in perfect peace, my life will get better and I will become content in any situation that arises. 

Isaiah 26:3 says You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. So, here I had to learn who to put my trust in, in order to have the peace in mind and emotional state.  I asked the Lord to show me how to trust, how to have faith in him when I don't see him physically.  

Psalm 4:8 says In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Hebrews 12:14 says Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Romans 15:13 says May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

I had to start looking at things differently, not from a fleshly perspective, but from a spiritual perspective. My mind needed to be transformed, and it only could be done by the reading of the word of the Lord. I had to search the scriptures for the issues of my life to see what advice it had for me. Any problem you have, you can find it in the concordance of your bible. I didn't know that until I started searching for the peace of life that I so desired.

You know that during the holiday season, it is the most troublesome for people with hurts, because they face family members and friends that may have been the cause of some pain, or ridicle and it was never addressed. 

Now back to my earlier questions: Is peace truly attainable? my answer to it is YES, if you want peace, you will have to do what it takes to get the peace you so desire. That may mean you face those that have harmed you, let them know that you have an issue with something they may have said or done, let them know that you want to reconcile the issue. That is if it is possible. I know for me, I had a situation where I couldn't talk to the person, because they were deceased, so I wrote a letter and then I burned it. There was another situation that someone brought to my attention, and that was if a person is hostile towards you and can't handle conflict, then in that case you go to the Lord in prayer asking him to help you with the forgiveness, I always tell people, before going to anyone dealing with offenses that you should always pray asking the Lord to bridle your tongue and to give you the words to say so that you will not offend or cause angry outbursts or a fight. We have to learn to use Godly wisdom in solving problems, or conflict resolutions. Just because you apologize for something, doesn't make you the villian, it just means that you are taking accountability for your part in the problem.

Next thing was...having peace is something that everyone should strive for. The truth about that statement is that everyone doesn't strive to have peace no matter what they may say. If you have been around someone that has fault or issue with everyone, that person does not have any peace within themselves. They find fault with everyone no matter whether a person walks on water and parts the red sea, they will say it's a lie or find some other crazy thing wrong. I know we all have someone like that in our lives that we have run across or they could be a family member or friend. 

After the storms of life, peace should come right? If you are tired of being sick and tired and you truly want that peace that surpasses all understanding, you will have it. I know that once I started searching for the peace, it took me on a journey to healing, I had to face some issues and hard facts about Tabatha that I really didn't like. It showed me that I was my worst enemy and I needed to make changes in my thought processes, the way I viewed people, who I put my trust in and the life that I was living needed to be transformed. So once you bump your head and fall on you rump a few times, prayerfully you will find peace after the storms and struggles in life. You have to put your trust in the Lord.

Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

You're basically putting your trust and faith in our unseen Lord. That's where I found my peace, and that is where you will find yours. 

How many of you have experienced relationships that ended badly? How many times did your significant other blame everything on you, your faults, your mistakes, and made you feel like the lowest person on the totem pole? I mean truly made you feel like you were the scum of the earth.  We make mistakes in relationships, we have flaws, and yes sometimes we can make people feel bad, none of us are perfect. The guilt that I'm referring to is, guilt that comes from wounds of failed relationships. Those wounds cause you to feel as though you failed to do what needed to be done to make the relationship successful. You begin to evalutate what you may have done wrong, especially if your significant other always told you that you caused them to be angry, and that's why they hit you, or that's why they called you out of your name. You tend to believe that things are your fault, and that you are a burden in life to others. This is a form of emotional abuse, it's used to control you and to destroy your self-esteem.

I had a relationship years ago, and initially it started out very pleasant, I thought, I had someone in my life that was good for me, and, I thought they were from a God fearing loving family. Well, not so. I didn't think I was being controlled, nor did I feel as though I was being emotionally and physically abused, until I got out of the relationship. He would tell me not to walk to the store and they he wanted to take me where ever I needed to go, he would slap me if I was looking in the direction of men so I had to turn my head or look down while riding in the car. I couldn't converse with anyone of the opposite sex, not even if they spoke just saying hello. If I did it would be an argument or fight. Eventually as time went on I started realizing that he was the one that was stepping out and trying to make me feel that I was the problem. He began to put me down about my weight, and tried to get me to use drugs so I could lose the weight. I had always been small, until I got pregnant with my son, and once I had my baby, he wouldn't let me go anywhere unless he drove me, so I couldn't leave the house until he got back home. I was always active, I walked just about everywhere or rode the bus, so naturally I gained more weight due to being a prisoner basically. I began to feel guilty for not being who he wanted me to be, I was guilty for making him feel as though I was looking at other men, I felt guilty about being over weight. Its amazing how emotional abuse can cause feelings of guilt in your mind and you're the one that is the victim. The sad thing is that you don't know you're the victim. I really did not know I was a victim.  

Guilt can make you stay in situations longer than you should, and cause you to change your whole outlook on who you are or who you were. I didn't know who I was, I felt guilty and ashamed from perceived offenses that I never made. I began to think that I was the cause of all my problems and the problems of others. How did I even get to this point? My self-esteem was so low, I had no hope. But, one day a light bulb came on, I realized that I needed to get away from the abuse, the ridicule, the sadness and I got angry to the point I fought for my freedom as if I was an animal in captivity. The last straw for me was on July 4th of 1992, we were riding in the car and he started arguing with me, he hauled off and backhanded me right in the face, I proceeded to fight back as I always had done, but this time I decided to jump out of the moving car to escape from him, my two year old son was in the backseat of the car and he jumped out after me, I had to catch him.  There was an older gentleman sitting on a porch who witnessed all of this and he came to assist me. He asked if I needed a police officer and I said no. You would think that after all of that I would at least call the police for help, but my mental state was so jacked up. I started feeling guilty thinking that it was my fault. I told the man that it was my fault. He just looked at me and said, no sweetheart, no man should ever put his hands on a woman no matter what, and that I didn't deserve to be treated in the manner to which he witnessed.  

He helped me get myself together and I called someone to come get me to take me to my family. That was the end of that relationship. It took me years to get to a place to feel comfortable looking at men or woman. I was still being emotionally controlled by someone that was no longer in my life, guilt and shame of what I had been through made me think that people could see my scars. I wouldn't go out, I was afraid to talk to people, I was nervous all the time looking over my shoulder as if I was going to be captured.  Guilt made me feel like I was a loser, a failure, I was everything that I was told, I was nobody. 

How to deal with guilt from past wounds. First realized that as a human being we will make mistakes. Guilt is a part of our lives, because we all have done something or said something to someone and had remorseful feelings. You may feel guilt for lying about something, or guilt from breaking something and blaming your sibling for it, or maybe you cheated on an exam and you knew it was wrong. Guilt is a part of our moral code that helps us determine good and bad behaviour and helps us to not keep making the same mistakes over and over again. 

My guilt came from an irrational thought process that was derived from past wounds in relationships. I assumed that I was the problem, and I needed to be fixed. What does your guilt come from? Is it rational from perceived or imagined offenses? Are you feeling as though everything you do is a burden because of what someone has told you? Is your guilt coming from an emotional abused state that you are unaware of? 

Take a deep breath and focus on where the guilt is coming from.  Ask yourself if you caused an offense? If you find that you did, then by all means apologize, we all make mistakes, but do not allow guilt to make you feel like you are the worst person in the world. We learn from mistakes, make amends for them and we move on in life. Don't beat yourself up constantly thinking about past mistakes, it can cause you to take a trip on guilt boulevard and you'll find yourself down in the dumps again over something that happened years ago.  How I deal with guilt may not be how you or anyone else deals with guilt, so if you find a healthy way of dealing with guilt that gives you peace of mind, then do that. Just remember that mistakes happen, guilty feelings will happen, but don't allow someone to guilt you into doing something that you would not normally do, and don't allow people to manipulate you using guilt tactics to control you.

In life what do you follow, your heart or your mind? When you make important decisions, what do you follow your heart or your mind?  The reason for these questions is to point out a few things that I really didn't know until I read the bible. One thing that I learned is that, if we have wounds, past hurts, bitterness, anger, unresolved or repressed issues, we tend to make decisions based on our heart, disappointments, bitterness, and fear. Sometimes those decisions are the wrong decisions. Our heart has been broken and naturally we don't want to be hurt again, so we follow the emotions from the heart. The problem with that is this: Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? How do I know by following what my heart is telling me is right, is it from brokenness? It could very well be, and in that case I really need to evaluate what the enemy is trying to set me up with. You know the saying, that we are our on worst enemy. Yes, it is true, we listen to a heart that has been broken, and it makes us so fearful that a wall is built up, we push people away, or we miss opportunities and blessings. 

Ecclesiates 10:2 says this: A wise person's heart directs him toward the right, but the foolish person's heart directs him toward the left. We have to examine ourselves, our way of thinking to make sure it lines up with the word of God. Are you being wise in your decision making or are you being foolish in decision making? Be honest with yourself, that's the only way you will be able to grow. You will need to ask yourself these questions, get to the root of your thought process's, what is guiding you and why? 

If our decisions are made from a wounded heart then can we honestly say that those are sound decisions? Are they based on what's best for us, or is it based on fears from past wounds? I know for myself fear caused me to make some foolish decisions that eventually caused me more heartache than you could imagine. I had to start over, evaluate what was going on in my life and determine a course of action. Some outcomes were okay, but they could have been a lot better had I not been led by my hurt feelings or emotions that were truly all over the place.  I should have sought advise from someone that I could trust and knew they would give me sound advise instead of telling me what I wanted to hear or telling me something to stroke my ego. You know, those friends that are afraid to tell you the truth about your messy situations, and will go along with anything that you do. I had to learn that a true friend is someone that loves you and wants what is best for you. They will tell you things to encourage you, they will tell you the truth about yourself, and they will not allow you to live in a fantasy world letting you believe that you are doing things the right way especially if you're not.  I need advise from those that have overcome adversity and are on the healed side, not walking in bitterness and anger. 

When I read about our hearts being desperately wicked, and who can know it, that scripture showed me that my heart couldn't be trusted, and, I needed to seek the Lord in every aspect of life. I have always heard people say follow your heart, I have said it to others, but now I know our hearts can mislead us. We have to truly seek guidance in everything dealing with life. I have gotten to a place now, that I pray seeking guidance from the Lord, and I ask him to direct my thoughts, my footsteps, give me clear instruction so I may go the path that he has planned for me. I ask him to put the words in my mouth so that I may not say the wrong things. 

Spiritual maturity will cause you to seek the Lord and acknowledge him in all things pertaining to your life. This includes decisions about finances, jobs, marriage, children, conflicts, love interests, and your christian walk. The mind according to James 1:8 says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. What does this mean? It simply means that if you or someone you know goes back and forth about any given situation then they are double minded. An example of this is someone has decided that they are going to focus on school and not worry about finding a love interest, and the next day they phone you saying that they just don't want to give up on love, they are tired of being lonely, and they just want a good relationship.  Then a week later there back at focusing on school or work.  Check out the instability throughout their life and compare it to James 1:8.

Psalm 19:14 says Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O, Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Simple, meditate on the word of the Lord, allow the word to transform your heart, and it will also transform your thinking, everything will align itself to the word of God. You just have to study what the word says, get it on the inside of you. Transformation will take place and you'll find yourself in a place called healed.

Once I realized that my heart and mind needed to be renewed by the reading of God's word, I started making changes gradually. Romans 12:2 says Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  I made the decision to stop leaning unto my warped sense of thinking from wounds that had been leading me down a road of emotional destruction. Many times I made the wrong decisions, and they caused more turmoil, but now I seek the Lord, and I try not to be overtaken by emotional thoughts or fear. I try not to overthink, but I do try to weigh different options for the best outcomes.

Ask yourself the next time you need to make an important decision, Am I following my heart or mind from a place of brokenness or a place of healed?  Wounds of the heart affect every part of our lives, if left untreated. It affects our decision making skills, our thought process, emotional state and mental state. Seek the Lord and allow him to direct you in all areas of your life. In order to be the best version of you, allow the heart and mind to go through transformation by the word of God.

Why is it so hard to believe that you are a jewel in the eye's of the Lord? Is it because, you don't feel worthy? The enemy of our souls will make us believe that we've done so much wrong that the Lord doesn't have the capacity to forgive us, and we begin to believe the lies.  Lies that we're not worthy, we're not loveable, we're not forgiven, we're doomed to hell, we're doomed to fail, and we're not overcomers. We will never amount to anything, we should just give up, your not important to anyone, and nothing ever goes right, just give up. No, all of that is lies to keep you in bondage. 

Here's what the Lord thinks about us when we choose to follow him, and strive for perfection on a daily basis, when we repent of our sins and pick up our cross to carry it. 

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

You are so important to the Lord that he paid a ransom for your life before you were formed.

Psalm 139: 1-6 says You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6. Such knowlegde is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 

Psalm 139:13-17 says For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!

The Lord knows you, he sees the potential in you before you were formed. He knows your thoughts before they come to your mind, He knows the words before you form them upon your tongue, He sees who you are before you can imagine it. He cultivates you through trials, struggles and yes even heartache. He wants to get the best out of you for the use of his kingdom.  I remember being at a point in life that I was confused about where I was supposed to be. I didn't think highly of myself. One day I just prayed asking the Lord, who am I destined to be? Who am I Lord when you look at me? What is it that you, Lord see in me that I don't see in myself? I had so many doubts, my self-esteem was low. I didn't want to be useless, I began praying the Jabez prayer for the Lord to broaden my territory, to open doors of opportunity that he had for me, and to close doors that would hinder me in my walk with him. I asked him to show me the schemes of the enemy, and to show me the way of escape. When you realize that the Lord is guiding you; you begin to trust the unseen hand of God that gives you a push in the right direction, your spirit will agree to the pushing, and instead of going left you'll choose the right road.  

As a parent teaches their child about life they want what's best for them, and they don't want to see any harm come to them. The same with the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God sees us as precious and honored according to Isaiah 43:4

The Lord sees each of us through eyes of unconditional love, and it doesn't depend on looks, wealth, race, or educational background. He sees our heart. 

Ist Samuel 16:7 says But the Lord said to Samuel, " Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

What is it that you see of yourself in the mirror? Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror, and do you like what you see? I ask this, because; when I was so wounded, self-esteem so low, confused about my life, I couldn't look at me, in the mirror. Of course I'd style my hair, put on makeup, but I never looked at me. I felt disappointed, because of who I turned into.  A person with emotional scars, lacking confidence, I felt damaged beyond repair, I felt ugly and unworthy of what the word of God said. Wounds can keep you emotionally imprisoned, you walk with your head down avoiding eye contact for fear that someone would see how damaged you truly were. You are ashamed and disconnect from others, you don't want anyone to see you at your weakest point. It's as though you feel that you are a failure, but that's just another lie from the enemy. Just because you make mistakes doesn't deem you as a failure, it means that you have another chance to get it right. If you'd look at mistakes as a lesson and not a judgement of impending doom, it will help develop you in spiritual maturity, there is growth from it. 

I'm here to tell you that what you believe resonates to your inner being and directs the course of your life. You have to reject the negative thoughts of past wounds; and build a wall against wounds that try to penetrate your new mindset. Once you start thinking positive the enemy will always try to bring up negative thoughts to keep you bound to the past.  Your positive thinking and standing on God's word will help you stand against any negativity that comes your way. You will believe the truth of God's word instead of the lies of the enemy. You will reject negative thinking and stand on the truth through the word of the Lord.

Once you see yourself the way the Lord sees you, your wounds will heal, you'll become victorious over low self-esteem, negative thinking, and you'll be able to hold your head high, walk in confidence and be able to look at yourself in the mirror. Keep praying, ask the Lord how he sees you? Ask him to show you yourself? When I asked those questions he showed me things I needed to change about myself and he showed me how to walk in love, kindness, joy, peace, forgiveness, patience, and confidence in his word. 

Numbers 23:19 says God is not a man that he should lie, nor son of man that he should repent of his word.  God will not go back on his word.

Romans 2:11 says for there is no respect of persons with God. What the Lord does for one, he will do for another. He does not show favortism.

Everyone's situation is different, I know, but if you go to the ultimate problem solver,  Psalm 55:22 says cast your cares on the Lord, he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

I pray that this episode of Open the Wound has blessed you, and has given you new found hope, strength and confidence in the word of the Lord. That it will dwell in your hearts to build your self-esteem, your walk with Christ and will give you the peace and joy that you desire. Walk in victory and see yourself through the eyes of God by studying his word. As always I thank you for listening and subscribing, please comment, send feedback via email to let me know your thoughts, opinions and any victories you've overcome by listening to this podcast. I look forward to hearing from you and will keep you lifted in prayer. Remember you are not alone and it is healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul.  Have a great weekend. 

Good day everyone, I hope and pray that you all had a beautiful weekend. I just celebrated my 53rd birthday, and am so excited to see what's next on my adventure called life. I am so thankful to everyone of you who have subscribed to my podcast. I truly appreciate you all, as I do this for you and prayerfully it is helping you deal with some of your past hurts, and even learn how to deal with present situations in life. As I stated before, I am not a licensed Psychologist, but I am an Ordained Minister and through the word of the Lord, I have learned that it is healing in the word of God, if you would just trust the word of God and read it for yourself. 

Life situations happen and sometimes we just don't know how to handle things in life, we need a guide. If I hadn't picked up the Bible for myself, there is no telling where I would be at this point in my life. I shared with you some devastating experiences, not to have a pity party, or to get sympathy, but to show you that there is someone that has gone through and overcame adversity. To show you the listener that there is hope on the otherside of your adversity. Many people are going through hurts from past wounds, and current wounds now, and they need to know that they are not alone.  Today, I walk in victory from the bondage of past wounds and even the new wounds that are to come. I had to learn how to deal with adversity in life, it is a life skill that should be taught, but the only way you get educated on it, is to live through it. Fortunately, those of us that have had some hardships in life, are willing to share our stories with you, either through books, podcasts or testimonies in church, or motivational speaking. Whatever, your story is, know that you can help someone and possibly save lives. There is so much turmoil out here in society today and people need to hear a story of victory, it will give them hope in the midst of their adversity.

Today, we will talk briefly about What's next on your healing Journey, although the title says What's next on my healing journey? Make this personal for you and your healing journey. 

Take a leap of faith, get to know people without trying to have an instant love connection. Try talking about different interests you may have, ask probing questions to see if they are compatible to your likes and dislikes. Take one step at a time, most importantly dump your baggage from old relationships before trying something new, it could end badly, especially if you hadn't healed. We don't want rebound relatonships to happen it just compounds the past hurts. It makes the healing take that much longer.

When starting over seems to be too hard, it's just the wounds keeping you in a place called fear. We have to push past the fear of the unknown, take that leap, you may find out that what you were afraid of was just an over active imagination derived from fear. We talked about fear last week, it's false evidence appearing real. 

II Timothy 1: 7 ESV states: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self control. or the king james version says a sound mind.

Fear tries to keep us bound, it hinders us in our walk with Christ, and in relatonships, it also keeps us from the destiny that the Lord has predestined for us. 

To heal you will have to face some fears, some truths about yourself, and this is where you have to be honest with yourself. What are you willing to face? What are you willing to let go of in order to be healed? Some wounds are designed to stagnate you, to keep you imprisoned, to cause you emotional paralysis to the point you can't move on from the pain, it causes mental anguish, and despair, and some can cost you, your life.  Fear is derived from a past wound of the heart or mind, we don't like to feel pain, noone does, but the truth of the matter, is that we will in some way feel betrayed. It doesn;t have to be in marriage, it could be in a friendship relationship, or a work relationship, it could be family portrayal, no matter which way it comes pain is a part of life. It doesn't have to render you helpless and as a wounded bird waiting to be destroyed as prey. We get up and learn from experiences called life, and we try our best to move on to a place called healed. That's why it's a journey to healing. 

Don't get attached to people that it makes it hard to let them go when they disappoint your expectations of them. Learn what matters to you and stay focused. Find a purpose, your purpose. Just because you priortize your life and the things that matter to you, doesn't mean that you are being arrogant, or that you're putting yourself on a pedestal, it just means that you are searching for what makes you happy and complete. Once you realize the lessons from life experiences, you will be able to look back on them and thank the people who caused you the pain. Why? Because they helped you become the strong individual you have become today. You may not see it now, but I know by first hand experience. 

I pray that this episode of open the wound has helped you, given you some clarity in whatever your situation may be. I pray that you find healing, for your mind, body, spirit and soul.

Thanks for listening and subscribing.  Have a beautiful rest of your week.

Lets talk about fear for a moment. I recall hearing Joyce Meyers talking about fear and she stated that it's simply false evidence appearing real. I always remembered her saying that, and I really had to learn how to put that into use for fears that I had in my own life. As a child one of my uncle's chased me with a lizard, so needless to say I have a fear of lizards. Well, today, I made up in my mind; that I was going to face that fear, and not be afraid. A lizard did get into my house, I screamed, my husband already knew what was going on and he came running to me prepared to save me from the menacing dragon. I had broom in hand and ready to shew the lizard out of the house, but my hero handled the task at hand. Today was my first time trying to handle it for myself, I believe I handled it well. I didn't run out of the room or jump on furniture. That's progress!

Now, you first have to know that when a lizard, spider or a frog is in my presence, I will pack up and leave the house until proof has been showed to me that the alien invader has been evicted from the house. As my husband says he doesn't play around with peoples fears, because a person can be so afraid that they can run into traffic, or do bodily harm to themselves or another trying to flee from what they deem to be danger. 

I have realized that fear can paralyze us from doing the will of God, if you are afraid of public speaking, some people have been called up to speak and they would lose their voice, they would become paralyzed and some would actually lose consciousness. 

People can be so fearful, that it would keep them from trying new things in life, it could keep them from traveling for fear of flying, driving on a busy highway, traveling by sea, or just taking a short drive across a bridge could leave someone catatonic. I remember hearing people say that they were afraid of elevators, heights, small rooms because of claustrophobia, or fearful of the pool because they couldn't swim even if the pool was waist deep, they still wouldn't get in for fear of drowning.

Fear arises with the threat of harm, either emotional, physical or psychological whether it be real or imagined. Most of our fears come from childhood, or from adulthood or somewhere inbetween. For me a lizard no matter how small, or how big they are huge iguana's, and I feel like they will jump on me, and bite. Now, I know they don't have teeth, but it's just my fear of it jumping on me.

When I went through a period of domestic violence, I found myself being afraid of people talking loudly, yelling, screaming, crying, being in crowds  and things of that nature. I remember getting really upset one evening, when I overheard someone speaking aggressively to another. I retreated to another location for fear that it would be an altercation, and I didn't want to see anyone get hurt.  

Fear can have you afraid to deal with life, work, your mental health will suffer, and sometimes it will cause you to be a homebody so to speak. You can develop anxiety and start to isolate from family and friends, functions that you use to attend, you will avoid. 

Fear can place you in an invisible prison, and one day you will look around and, ask how did I get here? Wounds from your past can creep up on you and cause you to think about different instances in life, such as if you were a victim of a robbery, mugged, raped, you may have had a bad experience with law enforcement, and when people seem to get to close it causes fear to rise up and you get in defense mode, when there actually is no threat around, its imagined. Your fear caused you to feel like you were going to be harmed. I know for me I really hate when someone walks to closely behind me, the one thing that I do when that happens is I turn to look at them and either I will speak or just make eye contact to make me feel more at ease and to avert a possible attack. 

Fear can cause so many invisible walls, and bars to be placed in your life that you don't see them, but others do. They will say things to you like why don't you go out with us anymore, or why do you stay to yourself all the time, you're isolating from your friends and family.  It's fear that has gripped you and now is taking over every aspect of your life.

One of my biggest fears was flying. So to overcome my fear, I went on vacation and decided to fly to Jamaica, this was back in 2002. The flight wasn't that long and the flight took an hour and 30 minutes at the most. Once I conquered that fear I found that it was a pleasant flight and I had imagined all the worse scenarios that could happen and never ever stepped foot on a plane until 2002, and now I enjoy flying. I actually just went on a helicopter ride this year and enjoyed it as well. I was able to conquer the fear of flying. I felt that wall fall down and a sense of freedom came upon me. It was like a breath of fresh air surrounded me. 

When you're trying to face your fears, take it one step at a time, don't do it alone, have someone with you, and if you need to talk to a professional about your fears, do not be afraid to open up to them. There are lots of people that have fears, that we may take for granted, but one thing I would say to anyone is please do not play with peoples fears, it could cause them to hurt themselves or others trying to flee from what they deem to be a dangerous situation.

Fear of speaking was another area in my life that I had to overcome, and it was crazy, because I had a job that required me to conduct orientations of anywhere from 15 to 50 people at the most I had to speak in front of 75 people on the job, and I was terrified, but it was my job and I had to do it. Fortunately, I was able to sit in on another co-workers orientation and found that if I organized myself the way she did, I would be able to get through it without any problems and that is what I did. I developed my own style of presenting the orientation. I overcame the fear of conducting orientations, and once I got into ministry, the work I did with orientations, helped me to be able to speak at church functions, and present sermons to the congregation. 

My experiences and facing some of my fears elevated me to this point of speaking on this podcast, it's hard to speak to people you don't know or to present a work that the Lord directed you to do and then not know if it is helpful to others, but I had to overcome my fear of failure as well. I overcame that by stepping out onto this platform and asking the Lord to direct me every step of the way. 

I have to follow my Heavenly Father's instructions, its my service to him, and he has brought me so far in my christian walk, he has delivered me and set me free from so many things that kept me bound to an invisible prison, he set this captive free and now I just pray that with these podcasts, you the listener will be set free as well.

Scripture tells us in Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

If you would just seek the Lord in prayer for answers you need about what is holding you back from going forth in what the Lord has spoken to you about doing for his kingdom, trust he will answer you and he will begin to take you through the steps to break down that invisible prison.  

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous, do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you He will not leave you or forsake you. 

Allow the Lord to lead you to the place he has predestined for you, you may be that Preacher, teacher, motivational speaker that helps millions of people in their walk with life, in Christ, into freedom from their bondage. Just trust the Lord with your fears, give them to him and allow him to heal you from them. 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

How many times have we tried to work a situation out, you know the relationship issues, workplace drama, confusion at the church,, different relationship dynamics, only to find out that it was misperceived notions. You lost valuable time nursing a wound that was perceived in error. You chose to remain silent and the enemy had you believing something that was made up in your mind. The enemy has a way of twisting things around making you believe that you're being victimized, but in fact both parties are affected by the delusions.  The enemy is on his job to create havoc, discord, divisions in families and discontentment on jobs to get you off of your assignment, and he is doing it well.

The body of Christ is being fooled by deceptive practices and they are not coming prepared to fight against the fiery darts of the enemy. The left the truth for the lie. Believers need to study the word of God in order to rightly divide the word of truth.

Lets work this out together using scripture to show us how to handle adversity when it comes our way. 

Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makies one slow to anger, and it is his glory to over look an offense.

Ecclesiates 7:21-22 Do not take to heart all the things that people say lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.

Proverbs 17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

If we would all take a moment to evaluate the reasons that caused us to be angry, upset, frustrated or disappointed, we'd find it was due to misinterpretation, I learned a few years ago that communication takes two actions. The 1st is to speak clear and concise, not beating around the bush so to speak. To be as factual as possible, not going off of hearsay.

2nd be a good listener, ask for clarity if something is unclear, and reason with one another. Sometimes, you just have to settle for a happy medium. You agree to disagree and move on to the next topic. We have to realize that we're all made different we all have different ideals, cultures, thoughts and opinions. It's just the differences that make us unique so we build on it and respect each others input. We all have value, we just have to learn how to work it out.