Ah, Christmas Day, 1973. Drinking egg-nog, opening presents, playing cards in the back of the local brothel, stroking your Magnum .45, and cleaning up the vomit from your demon-possesed daughter. THE STING, MAGNUM FORCE, and THE EXORCIST are the Christmas Day gifts that keep on giving on Episode 31 of Opening Weekend!

Heads will spin as the boys go back to the year of Dan’s birth to celebrate two Oscar nominated classics and one NRA-nominated classic for “Best Fetish Flick.” The only thing Dirty about this Harry is the way he drools over that big, big, stiff, gun. Mmmmm, yeah, that’s right, make his day. WAIT A MINUTE! Back to the episode: What’s more disgusting: the green bile spewing out of Linda Blair’s mouth or the smell of all those dirty ashtrays in the smoking section of Beefsteak Charlies? What sound does Jason find more disturbing: the noises coming out of Linda Blair’s mouth as she stares down Max Von Sydow or the noises coming out of his wife’s mouth as she stares down Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Swoon much? You said it, Harry! Mmmmm, now go take out that big, big piece of steel…grrrrrrrr.  The Power of Podcast compels YOU to listen to Episode 31 of Opening Weekend!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!  No, not Christmas; Life Day! That’s right, for their 30th episode, the boys stick around 1978 for a deep into one of the most baffling and upsetting episodes of cinematic and television history ever: The Star Wars Holiday Special.  And to close out the shit-show that is 2020 and to celebrate 30 weeks of podcasting magic, it’s the  First Annual “Golden Sheila Awards”©! It’s a Wookie Wonderland on Episode 30 of Opening Weekend!

2020 has been a mind-numbing year, no doubt about it.  But not even 4 years of Trump, a world-wide pandemic, murder-hornets, or raging fires across California can stand up to the bat-shit madness of 1978’s The Star Wars Holiday Special.  In 1977, the biggest question in the galaxy was: will the Rebels escape and blow up the Death Star? In 1978, the biggest question was: will Carrie Fisher pass out drunk before or after she finishes singing to a room-full of Wookies?  And if you thought Jar-Jar Binks was a questionable choice, wait until you watch an elderly Wookie grunt his way through virtual space porn.  And then there’s Maude. No, seriously, there’s Maude.  And Harvey Korman. And Art Carney. And Jefferson Starship. And…oh, crap, Carrie Fisher just passed out.  Once the boys wipe the Bantha poo-doo off of their childhood memories (and Dan stops hiccuping), it’s time for self-reflection, personal inventory, and The First Annual Golden Sheila Awards! If you thought the line-up for The Star Wars Holiday Special was nutso, wait until you hear who drops in on the boys to celebrate their 30th episode together. Shalit be praised, it’s Episode 30! 

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s...three giant nerds talking about superhero movies! The boys head back to December 15th, 1978 to celebrate the granddaddy of them all, SUPERMAN! And Can You Read Their Minds and guess their Top Ten favorite superhero movies? Throw on your cape and take flight with Episode 29 of Opening Weekend! 

Which after-school animated  superhero had the coolest theme song? (Hint: it wasn’t The Sub-Mariner).  Who gives the most heartbreaking performance of 1978: Glenn Ford as “Pa Kent” or the millions of kids crying as they try to make sense of the “Star Wars Holiday Special?” BAM POW THWAP! Dan is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains the transformative powers of venerable character actress, Linda Hunt....or Brad Bird....he’s not sure. Fred is belted by gamma rays and turns into a rage monster any time he hears Margot Kidder ask “Can you read my....” GRRRAAAAH!!!! FRED SMASH!!!! And Jason treks to the Fortress of Solitude where the ghost of Jor El guides him in unleashing his true super potential as.....Nick Nolte?

WHAMO! KAPOW! HANDFART!!!! With great podcast, comes great responsibility. 

Gritty buddy-cop movie? Check. Half-baked sequel to a comedy classic? Check. A kids’ holiday movie with two comedy legends that’s both uncomfortably racist AND stars a future porn actor? Check, check, and CHECK.  48 HOURS, AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL , and THE TOY have it…all? It’s December 10th, 1982 and The Boys Are Back In Town with Episode 28 of Opening Weekend!

Jason, Dan, & Fred have Pac-Man fever this week as they go back to 1982 to grab their Atari joysticks, pop on some Journey and ponder some of life’s biggest questions, like: WHAT THE HELL WAS ANYONE INVOLVED IN “THE TOY” THINKING???  And if you thought little Scottie Schwartz buying a Black man in a department store was crazy, wait until you hear Nick Nolte call in to say hello to the boys on the Time-Phone. YES. WE HAVE A TIME MACHINE PHONE. JEALOUS, TERRY GROSS? Anyways, some other stuff happens with Eddie Murphy movies and Gene Shalit and Garfield cartoons, but, HOLY SHIT did we mention that Jackie Gleason lets his son BUY A BLACK MAN IN A DEPARTMENT STORE? And the guy who directed Superman let this happen? Not even Herve Villechaize’s heavy breathing can drown out the sounds of utter distaste and bafflement on Episode 28 of Opening Weekend!

Ve vill break you. Hearts are On Fire this week as the boys head back to the 80s and up north for the greatest Cold War of all: Rocky vs...Santa?Yo, Apollo, it’s November 27th, 1985, and ROCKY IV and SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE are your Black Friday gifts on Episode 27 of Opening Weekend!

It’s a hormonally fueled episode as 8th grade Fred rounds the bases at The Eagles Nest, 9th grade Jason spins a web of lies about that beautiful Senior in art class, and 7th grade Dan tackles the hardest choice of all: Ginger, Mary Ann...or Mr. Furley? 

Oh, and Burt Young PROBABLY gets a hand-job from a robot. DRAAAGO!!!!!!

Sly battles Communism.

Santa battles Capitalism.

And the boys battle confusion as they try to figure out why any of this is happening. There’s No Easy Way Out, so throw in your snow shoes and leather jacket and get ready for Episode 27 of Opening Weekend!

Chest hair, diapers, road trips, Guttenberg and...wait, those aren’t pillows!!!
It’s November 25th, 1987 and the boys take PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES to see THREE MEN AND A BABY on Episode 26 of Opening Weekend
!If you thought Fred’s questioning of his sexuality reached a fever pitch with Hugh Grant on Episode 25, then wait until you hear him positively SWOON over Tom Selleck! Oh, the swooning!

Which 1987 performance was more moving? John Candy’s ‘Del Griffith’ or Jason’s 85 year old Jewish Superman? Oy, the kvetching!

Who was....wait....hold on....Dan, is that...CORN in your ass-crack??? 

Oh, the humanity. 

And the boys present a challenge to their listeners. 

Three words: Erotic Fan Fiction. 

Go Guttenberg or go home; it’s Episode 26 of Opening Weekend! 

The British prove their superiority once again as the boys revisit November 14, 2003 and the UK imports LOVE ACTUALLY and MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (as well as America’s contribution to the cultural conversation - sigh - LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION)!

Romance is in the air for classic screen couples like Hugh Grant and his secretary, Paul Bettany and an animatronic tortoise, Alan Rickman and his secretary, Brendan Fraser and an animated duck, and Colin Firth and his maid! Love really IS all around!

Which was more harrowing? Russell Crowe’s sea battle with French sailors for the survival of his ship or Dan Matisa’s street battle with the children of Brazil for the survival of his backpack? Which is more surreal? Heather Locklear doing an impression of Britney Spears surrounded by miniature Yosemite Sams or Ron Perlman’s return as niche character “The Sayer of the Flaw”? And who gave the richer performance of “Christmas is All Around”? The great Bill Nighy or Dan’s sweaty palms?

So, if you really love Christmas, come on and let it snow (wtf?), because quick is the word and sharp is the action on Episode 25 of OPENING WEEKEND!

“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you; three, four, Jon Cryer slept with Demi Moore; Five, six, George Burns is one hundred and six…” It’s November 16th 1984, and with A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, OH GOD, YOU DEVIL, and NO SMALL AFFAIR, the boys are sure to haunt your dreams on Episode 24 of Opening Weekend!

What’s that terrifying sound, like blades scraping against a rusty pipe? Is it Freddie Krueger or Dan’s imitation of Demi Moore singing? And speaking of nightmares, Fred’s PTSD-filled recollections of 7th grade school camping trips will make you never want to play trust exercises again (or sleep underneath him on the bunk bed) Will George Burn’s God let Jason off the hook for his hormone-charged property damage in 8th grade, or will his soul burn forever on a pile of of charred Victoria Principle cut-outs? Mondale/Ferraro ’84! It’s Episode 24 of Opening Weekend!

Comics spying! Comics reindeer-flying! Comics getting embroiled in phone-sex scams, smashing windows, buying pudding and crying! November 2nd, 2002’s PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, I-SPY, and THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 had it all and we’re not lying! It’s all here on Episode 23 of Opening Weekend!

Breakups, credit card debt, and near asphyxiation by gold spray-paint; man, the boys were really LIVIN’ back in November of 2002! 

Is Punch Drunk really an old-school musical? Is Tim Allen’s Santa doppelgänger and allegory for modern-day dictators? Did ANYONE think to hire a boxing coach for Eddie Murphy??? While they reminisce about their favorite toys growing up, the boys also receive an interesting manifesto in the form of a future Oscar-award winning monologue. Hitchcockian, Chekhovian, or ARD-WOLFIAN??? 

From Santa’s sack to the Mail Sack to Sandler’s Sad Sack there’s so much to unpack on Episode 23 of Opening Weekend! (Just please don’t disturb Dan, he’s playing with his farm animals). 

“Trick or treat, smell Dan’s feet, give Don Dokken something good to eat!” The boys are back with a super-sized spooooooky Halloween episode where they dive into John Carpenter’s 1978 horror game-changer HALLOWEEN and their very own Top Ten Halloween Movies! Don’t open the door! DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!!!!! Opening Weekend Episode 22 is coming to GET YOU!!!

Slashers, psychos and sweet tranvestites; gore, guts, and Ghostbusters; witches, werewolves, and “there wolves”…the boys cover all things Halloween this week! What’s scarier? The iconic violin stabs of Bernard Herrmann’s Psycho score or a young Fred dressed as Bigfoot yelling “PIXPIXPIXPIXPIXPIXPIXPIXPIX” into his rotary phone? Who haunts Dan’s dreams more: Freddie Krueger or that local newscaster interrupting episodes of “Woody Woodpecker”? And if you thought Michael Meyers cut an imposing figure, then you’ve never seen Jason dressed as Paul Stanley at your door on Halloween! And is there ANYTHING more horrifying than the idea of a “Hocus Pocus 2”? Fred says, “NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”  On a podcast, no one can hear you scream…but they can hear you hand-fart. It’s Opening Weekend Episode 22!