Optophobia

The 1989 Judd Nelson movie “Relentless” seemed like just another bad slasher flick. But director William Lustig included subliminal messages intended to inspire real life, would-be serial killers to begin their sprees.

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Credits:

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

Gilda Graylore runs the Mystic Horse B&B in Corolla, NC. She's also pretty sure an unseen species, Homo inivisibilien, unleashed Covfefe-19 to rid the planet of its destructive human cousin, Homo sapiens.

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Credits:

Kelsey Peters played Gilda Graylore. Kelsey performs with Washington Improv Theater teams Uncle Gorgeous and The Broken Bones, and Dojo Comedy house team Maple Sunday. She also co-hosts the “Heavy Flo with Puss and Kooch” podcast. Follow her on Instagram at @kelspeters.

Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

https://vurbl.com/station/1MDNh9wkjmW/

In his work as a missile engineering studying manager, Master Carmichael Carmichaels made a startling discovery. The liquid that Mars is so famous for is actually a "nuclear desert sun dune," which NASA brought back to Earth in gas form and which has now leaked into the population, causing Covfefe-19.

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Credits:

Darnell Eaton  played Master Carmichael Carmichaels. Darnell performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team iMusical. Follow him on Instagram at @darnellde

Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

Al Windjammer, owner of Windjammer Shoes, has a message that seems to contradict the family business: Don't wear shoes. While Windjammer shoes are made of animal byproducts from the family farm, most shoes are made from untraceable, mysterious chemicals that are harbingers for germs and viruses. And because most viruses enter the body through your feet, a shoe of unknown provenance is an invitation for Covfefe-19.

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Credits:

Stacey Axler played Al Windjammer. Stacey performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and Maple Sunday, a Dojo Comedy house team. Check out her Facebook page at Stacey Axler Comedy.

Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

People are easier to control when they believe their group’s interests are at odds with another group’s. Suzy Johnson, professor of sociocultural anthropology at U.C. Berkeley, believes the U.S. government — nervous that Americans of all kinds have come together to speak as one against racism and racial injustice — is using Covfefe-19 to re-segregate the country.

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Credits:

LAUX played Suzy Johnson. She the author of To All The Places I've Had Sex Before out on Amazon and Kobo. Follow her on Instagram at @lauxtheauthor or find her at lauxtheauthor.com.

Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

Exterminator and Little League soccer ref Jammy Bristol has known hard times. As a young exterminator he lived among a community of mice he'd been hired to slaughter, and watched alongside the rest of the mouse family as the materfamilias was devoured by a red-tailed hawk. But nothing could prepare Bristol for the realization that Covfefe-19 was simply Google taking those of us who are replicants back to Mountain View, CA for routine maintenance.  

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Credits:

Ryan Brookshire played Jammy Bristol. Ryan teaches comedic songwriting and musical improv at Washington Improv Theater. He performs with WIT house ensemble iMusical and An Evening with Georgia Tennessee. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @correctbehavior.

Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

Famed sharpshooter Nate Drysdale was shopping for ammo at Walmart and summoning to mind scenes of Angela Lansbury fighting Nazis when it hit him: Disney had developed Covfefe-19 as a way to thin out brick-and-mortar retailers to give the company better access to our brainwaves...and our wallets.

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Credits:

Alex Kazanas played Nate Drysdale. Alex can be heard each week on the Japanese pop culture podcast Toho Yaro, and the One Piece Podcast. Catch him various Saturdays doing live art at Super Art Fight on Twitch. Enjoy his improv follies with his teams TFA, The Sichuan Pepper Daddies, and IRL. Keep an eye out for a project he is co-directing for the Washington Improv Theater, called And Scene! Follow him on Twitter at @DudeExclamation.

Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

Idaho floral artist Phoebe Shoemaker has seen super spreaders close up. Bees buzz around her store all day, drawing color, vibrancy — LIFE — from her flowers. The danger doesn't come from the bees' sting, but from their honey. Or more precisely, Big Honey executives who have infected the world with Covfefe-19 via their sweet, sticky product.

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Credits:

Aubrey Peterson played Phoebe Shoemaker. Aubrey performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team, The Lineup. Follow her on Instagram at @aubs_olutely

Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

He may have been fired as a top sales associate at Tesla, but Casper Geronimo didn't let that stop his adult film career. In fact, it only enhanced his popularity and gave him a deeper understanding of Elon Musk, who has unleashed Covfefe-19 on this planet as part of a plan to return to his own.

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Credits:

Patrick Slevin played Casper Geronimo. Patrick performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble. Follow him on Instagram at @pfslevin.

Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin. 

In the season finale, Dylan Marshall tells co-hosts Muriel Woland and Clifford Hanger how "Optophobia" producers have been duped by listener Todd Snosh.
 
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Credits:

Liz Sanders played Muriel Woland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.

Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.

Produced by Tim Townsend.

Theme music by Bart Warshaw.

Cover art by Claire Smalley. 

Website by Chance Griffin.