Our Better Half

Just in time for the holidays. If you're feeling kind of down, grieving a loss, or sensing a bit of skin hunger, this episode may give you some reprieve. We discuss research on sexual bereavement, when you're mourning the loss of sexual intimacy. We offer tips on dealing with loss of a sexual partner. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

Here are some good online sex toy retailers (1, 2, 3) – but you should also check out our favorite local store!

Opening music by Kabbalistic Village. Segment music (Tips & Treats) courtesy of bensound.com. All music available through Creative Commons Attribution, Non-Commercial Share Alike 4.0 International.

In this episode, we look at the connections between physical health and sexual well-being. From sexual satisfaction for midlife women (age 45-60) and erectile dysfunction for men, to pelvic thrusts for all, we cover a lot of ground. So check out the show. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

Opening music by Kabbalistic Village, closing music is "Bill Conti – Gonna Fly Now (Instrumental Hip Hop Remix by Sidom)." Segment music (Tips & Treats) courtesy of bensound.com. All music available through Creative Commons Attribution, Non-Commercial Share Alike 4.0 International.

This week, we highlight the work of Dr. Dennis Dailey and the Circles of Sexuality, first published in 1981 in a text on aging, recently updated in a book about addictions, and coming soon to a journal on life planning. And it feels like we're back in the 80s with attacks on Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security at the national level -- start getting active locally. We offer more tips on great sex and the value of good mental health professionals -- search no further for a good sex therapist or mental health professional. So check out the show. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

Opening music by Kabbalistic Village, closing music by DJ Can't Tame. Segment music (Let's Talk Policy/Tips & Treats) courtesy of bensound.com.

In this show, we turn the mic over to Dr. Beverly Whipple, an award-winning, internationally-known sexual health researcher. She's one of our favorite sex researchers and she was very generous about her time so we devoted this entire episode to her and her work. Dr. Whipple is professor emerita at Rutgers University, a sex researcher, co-author of The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality, and a leader in our field. She spoke about her research on female ejaculation, orgasms, spinal cord injuries, and STIs (sexually transmitted infections). She referred to a policy paper, the Benefits of Sexual Expression, published by Planned Parenthood and her book about the G spot which was originally published in 1981 and has been translated into 23 languages. She's written numerous research articles and books and has taken leadership positions in many national and international organizations devoted to sexual health. She has spoken in 98 countries so far -- you can find out more about Dr. Whipplehere. She also referenced Dr. Mitch Tepper's work and one of his books. You can check out the huge array of resources he's published on his website here. If you've got more questions related to Dr. Whipple's contributions to the field of human sexuality, please write us. Check out our show. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening! ​

This was a wild show. In addition to getting lube all over Ashley's arms and hands, we had three exciting segments. For our research segment, we discussed Barry McCarthy's research on sexual satisfaction with older adults and the concept of Good Enough Sex for older adults. Yes, the article is cisgender and yes, it is heteronormative. However, we found that many of the concepts McCarthy and colleagues used would be quite useful to all types of sexual beings over 60. For our tips segment, which was enhanced through invaluable research by educators at Smitten Kitten (a progressive sex toy store in Minneapolis for everyone), we demystified lube ingredients, effects of lube on the body, and common types of lube (in addition to having fun in the studio). You'll even learn what osmolality means. For our policy segment, we discussed the President's latest Tweet banning transgender individuals from serving in the U.S. military. SAGE, which is America's largest and oldest organization serving LGBTQ elders, condemned the Administration for this disservice to all Americans. The Williams Institute estimates that more than 15,000 transgender individuals are currently serving in a branch of the military. The president cites increasing medical costs as his rationale for the ban. The total costs of medical care for all transgender individuals in the military account for only $8.4 million or 0.1% of the entire cost of health care for all military serving our country. We also announced an exciting conference Ashley is hosting, the SHINE Summit on sex and aging on September 14 in Leeds, MA which is beautiful in the fall. To find out more or register for the Summit, click here. Check out our show. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

We're not going to lie, this episode started out with Ashley and Jane taking the whole idea of sensuality to a new level, dipping fruit into warm chocolate sauce with sea salt. That got them thinking about all the ways food can enrich and enliven your sexual life. They started with the ABC's of erotic foods but got sidetracked as the chocolate sauce started dripping. Before they lost consciousness, they started with some of the latest research on sex and aging. NEW RESEARCH. Your sex life is only as old as you feel. In a new study in the Journal of Sex Research, a team of researchers at the University of Waterloo looked at the attitudes on sex and aging in a group of 1170 adults from 45-75 over a 10-year period. The group, from a wide diversity of sexual orientations, reported that the closer people felt to their chronological age, the lower the quality of their sex life. Most people tend to frequency to quality. We like to think of your sexual satisfaction as more than frequency. The biopsychosocial factors that might influence someone's sexual pleasure can be far more important than how often they are having sex. The research didn't necessarily say there was a causal effect between the age you feel and the quality of your sexual life but their findings indicated that feeling older could have a negative effect on the quality of the sex they were having. FOOD AND SEX. Where to begin? Here's just a taste of some foods that are linked to sex. Starting with Avocados, whose shape and texture lend themselves to sex, Dr. Barbara Klein, a professor of food and nutrition at the University of Illinois, found that avocado's high levels of vitamin E could also increase desire because of its role in maintaining youthful vigor and energy levels. Bananas are not only a great phallic shape, but they can also trigger testosterone production through bromelain and boost energy levels through potassium and Vitamin B. Chocolate, or Theobroma cacao, has long been known to have erotic as well as healthful properties, containing phenylethylamines, which causes an increase in dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to sexual desire and pleasure. Chili peppers not only have great color they also stimulate endorphins, speed up the heart, and cause perspiration which Dr. Meryl Rosofsky, a professor of nutrition, food studies and public health at NYU reminds us are the same physical responses of arousal and pleasure. We can't talk about erotic food without mentioning oysters, those bivalves so reminiscent of love. Talk about a shape and texture. Oysters are high in zinc and a team of researchers in Naples found that they also contain rare amino acids that release dopamine. And we can't leave this podcast without mentioning coffee. A recent study in the Journal of Pharmacology and Biochemical Behavior reported that moderate doses of caffeine affected sexual behavior in female rats (we've seen this in coffee shops around our town, not the rats, just the people). There are so many other foods that stimulate sexual desire and pleasure. Let us know what you've learned about food and sex. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Send us your ideas and thoughts. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

​This episode is dedicated to that old faithful term, the Golden Age, which was often use to refer to seniors. Jane remembers taking one of those Zumba classes a few years ago that was called Zumba Gold, and noticed after it began that, not only could she do all the dance steps but she was also one of the youngest members of the class. She also remembered her grandmother going to the Golden Age Club and wondered what it was they talked about while they were knitting and crocheting. We got another great email from a 66-year old man who asked: "My libido is weakening and I am concerned that one of the most important things in my life (sex with my wife of 37 years) will significantly diminish. Will the "passion" in my marriage be gone? Will we just b buddies with some common relatives?" To help this 66-year old man, Ashley talked about one of her favorite sexological terms, limerance, and discussed the need for each of us, as we age, to be more aware of the changes in our bodies, not just our physical appearance but our physiological response. What is the "new normal" for you as you age? Jane reported on a recent research team who studied female orgasm and found that the largest preponderance of women do not experience orgasm with penetration alone (75%) although approximately 30% of men think that women need penetration to achieve orgasm. Their results indicated a "golden trio" of genital stimulation, deep kissing, and oral sex to be highly effective, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2017) by the research team of Frederick, St. John, Garcia, & Lloyd. Ashley discussed John DeLamater's study (2008), Sexual Satisfaction in the Seventh Decade of Life, published in Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy, in which DeLamater reports on the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study of 2156 men and 1955 women in their mid-60's. These participants reported having sex 1.7 times a month and found that physical health, sexual functioning, psychological distress, and relationship satisfaction were all correlated with sexual satisfaction. Most importantly, they found that sexual expression continued to play an important role in the seventh decade of life. Ashley also reported on a recent study by Frederick, Lever, Gillespie, & Grace (2016), What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction is Associated with Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study, published in the Journal of Sex Research that found, not surprisingly that passion and sexual satisfaction typically decline in long-term relationships. But, they said it was not inevitable and identified the attitudes and behaviors from a large group of participants (N = 28,747). More than 30% said their sexual life was as passionate three or more years later as in the beginning. Satisfaction was highest among people who had sex most frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, and incorporated a variety of sexual behaviors, mood settings, and sexual communication. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

The title of our show begins with dandies, a term used in the late 19th century referring to men wearing women's or effeminate clothing. Most of Oscar Wilde's male protagonists were considered dandies and some of them were also gay. We think the term is similar to the term, metrosexual. And we connected this to Jane's latest research on older adults in same-sex relationships countering previous misconceptions about older LGBTQ adults and their sexual satisfaction. Not only is there very little research about this population, the research that does exist problematizes their sexual lives. If you'd like to learn more about her research, just click here or go to Jane's website to learn more about it. We also talked about dildos and other sex toys for older adults. Ashley talked about dildos as a great way to experience sexuality both solo through masturbation and as a couple. As you age, your toy needs might change because of vaginal atrophy, arthritis, or erectile issues. Sleeves, cock rings, and vibrators are widely available and there are a few companies beginning to address older adults' needs. She also mentioned one of our favorite TV series, Frankie and Grace, and their new vibrator for older women. If you're interested in more on this topic of toys for older adults, take a look at Joan Price's book Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. You can order any of Joan's books here. And speaking of donuts, Jane talked about the coverage gap in Medicare Part D, often referred to as the donut hole. The donut hole is a temporary limit on what the drug plan will cover for drugs. The coverage gap begins after you and your drug plan have spent a certain amount for covered prescription drugs. If you'd like to find the best Medicare Part D plan, click here. She then covered her favorite victory of the past few weeks. When House Speaker Paul Ryan pulled the "Ryancare" (or Obamalite) from the House floor just minutes before it was destined to be defeated, Jane cited the overwhelming resistance voiced by thousands of Americans who called, emailed, wrote, spoke out at Town Meetings, and attended rallies to voice their discontent with repealing Obamacare and possible replacements. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

We spoke about a most spectacular day for all who believe in freedom, January 21, 2017. Ashley and Jane were both in Washington, DC. The women's march occurred literally all over the world and has been deemed the largest crowd of any march in the history of the U.S. Latest estimates indicate there were over 600 sister marches involving almost 5 million marchers on every continent in every part of the world. Photos of some of these historic moments of resistance can be found here. One of our listeners wrote to let us know that we had an incorrect price point quoted for Viagra™ and we decided to revisit the issue we discussed back in Episode #34. We learned about a website which helps you compare prices and find consumer ratings for online pharmacies. If you'd like to check them out, just click here. If you're interested in herpes and want some ideas for you and your partner(s) so you can keep having sex (like rabbits), check out these links to find out more about dating with herpes, what to do if a partner has genital herpes, information about herpes in general, or the latest information from the Centers for Disease Control on herpes. We love our listeners and welcome your feedback. Please write to us at this address. And thanks for listening!

In honor of the Women's March and doomsday (AKA the Inauguration), Jane and Ashley get into cats, pussyhats, and the ACA. Here are this episode's sources, as well as some helpful links:

Baun, MM., Bergstrom, N., Langston, NF., Thoma, L. Physiological effect of human/companion animal bonding Nurs Res. 1984 May-Jun;33(3):126-9. Animal companions and one-year survival of patients after discharge from a coronary care unit. Public Health Rep. 1980 Jul-Aug; 95(4): 307–312. Friedmann, E., Katcher, A.H., Lynch, J.J., and Thomas, S.A. Pets and mental health Pet Therapy