our pod

Everyone wants to be a Scarlett, no one wants to be Dr. Plum. At the end of the day, Taylor Swift, you may be gay but let us tell you something…. You will never be queer. The moon was full and bright on the night of Addison Rae. The Family Stone reminded Ivana of the Christmas movie that her and Bella wrote, except theirs is so better. We’ve talked a lot of shit about Libras on this pod and now it’s like, yeah, Ivana’s eating crows pie. And some bad news: two of Bella’s loved ones doubted that she could successfully dress up as a knight...

Can you believe Ivana’s already on her third fairy book? She’s reading fast. The girls discover that at the centre of their Venn diagram is having a crush on Bad Bunny. Ivana making a TikTok is a bit like Taylor Swift making an album. Bella hates to be gendered on the pod but do you think One Battle After Another is a boy movie? We heard from our communities about scissoring. In a fully platonic way, it actually *is* a bit yummy to see Addison Rae so in their body. And are you guys ready to talk shit about Taylor Swift? If you don’t wanna do it, log off now.

The last time that Bella went to Medieval Times, Ivana wasn’t her Best Friend Forever yet. But she saw the stories. First and foremost: Fuck You J.K. Rowling. Ivana has a very exciting update about the Azerbaijani village family that she watches everyday on YouTube. Scissoring does exist in the sense that anything is possible between two human bodies. Bella doesn’t like fan service to gay people and Ivana doesn’t like dream sequences. And if you guys think this podcast is long, try Trisha Paytas’.

For listeners, Ivana’s hair is positively 1920s and her shirt is positively ribeye. Bella thinks it’s incredible to have a t-shirt with both Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande on it. Ivana didn’t know what the movie Snow White and The Huntsman means to Bella. If the makers of S3 Traitors Canada were interested in making a compelling season of television that would disrupt Canadian Media forever, they would’ve just centred the whole show around Ivana and Bella. And when this is out, everything will be different. Rah rah.

Update from last ep: Bella was haunted. Both the girls have Barenaked Ladies stories? Oh, I’m sure. Random but Ivana was shocked at Eve Babitz being good. Bella hates to take it to a place of toilet but she’s made a huge mistake. Ivana can't wait for Dua Lipa's theatre concept. Bella’s high school yearbook quote was “Mischief Managed” which sucks because she wasn’t in the year book at all. What mischief? How gay people will go to a JLo show, straight people will go to Oasis. Oh wait, we forgot to shut the tennis off.

Most conversation-starting card decks are made for people who hate each other. Question: do you guys think Bella is being haunted rn? Taylor Swift announcing her new album on a football podcast is oracle that Trump will be elected third term. And if you need Bella to explain that, she can’t even help you. Ivana receives a prophecy on a wedding dance floor. In Bella’s 2AM scrolling, she stumbled upon a card trick artist. They call it “cardistry.”If the girls managed to switch places “Freaky Friday” style, the only thing they would do is just keeping podcasting.

So basically what we’re gonna do is dance. And that’s an order. The girls can’t believe that Santana Lopez never got to do Sneaker Night. Basically Ivana went to Vancouver and Bella went to creek. Ivana will wear elf ears to the Ren Faire to reconnect with her ancestors. Meanwhile Bella is dead serious about making chainmail because "how hard can it be"? Ivana was finally exposed to the show that's sweeping the nation by storm and was shocked to learn they call this girl Belly. Bella fell off during “Dancing with the devil, the Art of Starting over” but previous to that, she’s off book on every single Demi Lovato song. Sorry, Ivana forgot her water bottle. And she has to fill it up.

Bella embraces Ivana and all of Ivana when she posts a thirst trap. The girls are doing "can I say?" about Justin Bieber this episode. Because guess what, a Pisces can be an asshole and a true romantic at the same time. Play by JLo is the original mother that the apple fell from the tree of that is Club Classics by Charli XCX. Bella poses a new age old question: today do you feel like Coconut Man, Moonhead or Pea? One might think Ivana is a Moonhead, but she is Pea through and through. It would make total sense for Andy Sachs from Devil Wears Prada to have become a power dyke after her transformative experience with Miranda Priestly. The girls have a hot take about Fifth Harmony: ALL good.

When it comes to Bella’s new post-surgery voice, it’s important to remember: a diva’s register is never low. Everything else is simply high. The girls shiver at having both interfaced with one Jax Taylor, and even manifest his firing. Hey, before we get the Biphobia Alarms going, remember that Ivana has the bi sticker! By the way, it’s OUR pod. So if you want to come on, you have to ask us. Anyways, Ivana is the economy, doll, and Bella is the substance. Oh, and Lorri’s here.

Bella’s not saying that LA has changed Ivana, but it’s a bit LA has changed Ivana. Prayers for Jojo Siwa, always. And guess what? Prayers to everyone. Even those who Ivana hates. Addison Rae’s whole brand is kind of, you would love her to be your older or younger sister. Or crush. The Fifth Harmony song “Squeeze” was formative to Ivana’s queerness. And Bella has had an imagination for as long as she can remember...