our pod

7-and-a-half minutes spent on Bubly flavours and Bella’s girlfriend’s incredible hat. In Ivana’s mom’s world, the Italian pop star Elodie is on par with Lady Gaga. Bella gets really smart about language and queer inclusivity in the Lucy Dacus video. Ivana says YES! Bella loves Jesus Christ Superstar but she does NOT want a Mario Magdalene.  It would be amazing to Ivana if they cast Janelle Monae as Mary Magdalene. Bella knows everything about her sister. She did not know about Irv. This is a new segment: Ivana has to do Jackson Maine impression once per episode. Listen, Bella has fucking cancer. You don’t want us to go for an hour and a half? 

Sometimes when God closes a door, he goes ahead and opens a window. And that’s basically what happened when Bella soaked Ivana’s podcast equipment with PC Blue Menu sparkling water. Regardless... it's finally Abracadabra time. Mayhem’s pronouns are she/her. Ivana’s pronouns are May/hem. But no matter what way you split it, if Ivana had been the One Less Lonely Girl, she would’ve ended up straight. Trust Bella when she says she’s not coming for the Child Reporter as a PERSON. Just the energy with which we’ve allowed child reporters to exist. Ivana will say it again and and again: dancers should get paid more than doctors. Bella thought her snail died but guess what? It was just impregnating itself. And brood, you’ll never hold anything against us again after you hear what's wrong with Bella.

Okay, off the top, Ivana wants to know, do you guys like that? (inconsistent posting, poor sound quality). Bella did comedy in little fucked up comedy spaces with two of the biggest girls in the world. Ivana thinks every short film is a miracle. She just hates them so much. Bella's art form is Instagram stories. When you see "Dolce," you think of Ivana. And when you see teal, you think of Dolce. Something happened this Aquarius season where everyone is speaking to Bella in riddles. And let’s just be honest about the fact that this is going to be a Housewives episode. Even though nobody in the Brood wants or gives us positive feedback about that. So if you don't like Housewives and Ivana chomping on Haribo Zings while she talks about them… Go to the next podcast, doll!

Happy 2025. We’re so off our game that… we’re on our game. Bella knew Ivana was capable of Yahtzee so that’s why she felt comfortable abandoning her. When it comes to a wedding ring, Dua Lipa wants to be twiddling that fucking thing and seeing it shine on her finger. Ivana gets intense Wednesday scaries thinking about having to go into an office tomorrow. Bella wonders if Ivana will wear a pencil skirt. Ivana hates to tell a beautiful woman that she was hysterical but she’ll do it. Bella was preoccupied by how disgusting Nosferatu was. Ivana was really concerned about how he transported his coffin to London. Cynthia Erivo almost died for Wicked promo in a cave with Bear Grylls. Are you hearing the words Bella is saying? 

We’re not even gonna explain where we’ve been but Pluto is responsible for a lot of what’s going on right now. Everyone is either bitchy or annoying. Ivana is bitchy. Bella? Annoying. Kristin Chenoweth and Idina…. CHRISTINA! Ivana has some questions about Conclave and it’s just like, what did you think the whole movie was about? Anyways. Back to Wicked. Let’s just talk quickly about Cynthia Ariana Gay. There are girls in Toronto that have podcasts, but not everyone is going to meet Angie Katsenevas. With their tits out. The mystery of what Christmas movie Bella is talking about comes to light. And when it comes to Luigi, violence only begets more violence and we’re the violence that’s been begotten! You understand?!

Well. It’s going to be a hard November for any listeners who don’t like Wicked, we’ll say that. Bella says we only have one hour because her brand new girlfriend can’t see us podding. Ivana was enchanted by herself in long, blonde ringlets. In terms of New Years…. That’s something everyone is talking about. Meanwhile, Beyoncé dares to ask the question, “You know Christmas?” Bella kink shames proudly. Ivana would be the tallest nun in the world. Bella went to Buffalo for a $20 snippet of Defying Gravity and now Ivana understands about Cynthia Erivo. The snippet gets played twice and no, the girls did not cut it out. 

Our pod makes it’s triumphant return. Within moments, Bella is singing Wicked. Noor says Ivana has bad habits. Bella’s update is that she interviewed literal Lady Gaga and people are saying that real journalism is back. Ivana’s updates will come in weeks. And just know, they are hard and mighty. Bella has a neural link with Ivana and Ivana has one with Dua Lipa. The girls went to SWEAT Tour and it was even funner than they imagined. The comp het master doc gets brought up. The “B” in LGBTQ stands for Bella. From now until November, the pod is on official Wicked watch. Ivana and Bella are yin and fucking Yang. And THAT will never change! 

Produced and edited by Noor and Ivana 

After two weeks of Bad Audio, the girls are lezzing out with Producer Noor and little Pepper. In honour of soccer summer coming to a close, Ivana is gonna get together a team of queers so good at soccer that we win. Bella will be the mascot. When Ivana was a little girl, she remembers watching Sex and the City and wondering why everyone wasn’t more horny for Charlotte. Dyke Halloween is going to a party and there’s two Jo Calderones. One short, one tall. Ivana’s sister is NOT a sir. But Bella WAS living her non-binary tea at the Habbo Hotel. And with Our Pod, if it’s not one thing, it’s the other.

Produced by: Noor

Well, well, well. Mercury retrograde strikes the Our Pod studio once again, forcing us to release a short episode this week. But still, the girls are back and they have a whole new outlook. After all, when something is lost (i.e. half an episode), something else is found (i.e. Bella’s weed pen). Not to be a sex pest but, Bella was disappointed when Ivana didn’t sleep under her weighted blanket. If you want to know what Bella looked like in the dress she wore to a wedding this weekend, go to Instagram right now and type in “graciebon.” You’ll know when you see her. When it comes to Chappel Roan, all Ivana really has to say is it goes back to Greek times. And it’s really important for Bella to have a crush because crush fuels earth. Or at least two girls like us…. 

The girls are 9 joints deep but still lucky, grateful, thankful and abundant. Ivana’s special interest snack is just: banana, crunchy peanut butter, chocolate chips. We don’t have to dwell on it. But big rice cakes are not Ivana’s culture at all so she needs to visualize them. Bella saw about 14 hundred movies this weekend. Oklahoma is essentially having a level-5 twister every day but what Ivana can’t figure out is why that actress was blonde. How everyone remembers Paul Blart for the Segway, everyone will remember Bella for the scooter. Channing Tatum technically saw the ourpod studio and he said he’d love to kick back there. Bella shaving her legs is her Charlize Theron shave head moment. And the girls implore you to make sure that your SPIRIT is leading your way through Letterboxd…