Guest Ashley Jefferson joins Annie Friday and Candis Ogilvie once again. This time they're talking about the work it takes to root into relationships and provide high quality support for self-directed learners. This episode covers the obstacles that educators are up against when walking away from the conventional ed system. The challenges range from the personal work of shifting away from power and control; wearing multiple hats to support the business; and even supporting our own kids alongside other people's children.

Annie and Candis discuss how children get labeled the "bad kid" sometimes even before they ever start school. Inappropriate expectations, testing, and the pushdown of academics have all contributed to public shaming and calling out those kids who may not be the perfectly still, quiet, attentive students. We challenge all educators in conventional school, progressive school, and self-directed learning environments to really pay attention and ditch the labels by asking yourself: could a stranger listening in identify your challenging one? Center the child, follow their interests, create the yes space for them to flourish.

Maria Montessori created a system of schooling that centered the child and pushed back against oppressive, reward-based systems that focused on testing and grading. It was meant to be accessed by the general public and yet somehow it seems to have landed in the laps of society's more privileged set. Ashley Jefferson joins Annie and Candis as they reflect on self-directed, play-based learning as well as the effects of the drill-and-kill approach of many elementary schools today. This episode starts with Montessori, takes a few loops around youth liberation, and then ends back at the topic of how we support families in our community today. One recurring theme: How can we extend the high quality early learning that is steeped in enriching play and exploration up into the later years of schooling too?

Annie and Candis dig into some common practices in discipline of young people in schools these days. Education professionals often turn developmental issues into moral ones. Young people face double jeopardy of being punished at school and home for the same infraction. Public shaming tools like behavior charts, naughty tables, and timeouts have become normalized. This is skewing expectations and challenging children's ability to "suceed." Listen to Annie and Candis explore the idea of turning relationship-based learning into the norm.

In this episode, Candis and Annie are joined by Karla the Unschooling Mama. Karla shares her secrets that have come from over 10 years of unschooling with her family. As a parent to 6 unschooling teenagers, Karla talks about what has worked and what has flopped for them. Karla will let us in on her strategy of finding the right pace for her own family. Hint: there is no right or wrong. Nobody else can tell you what will work for you and your family. Listen along to hear Karla's tips on low or no-cost options to find the passions of your young person. Find more directly from Karla on social media through her handle @KarlaTheUnschoolingMama

Annie and Candis giggle as they talk out what professional clothes look like for the hands-on, play-based educator. Do you really want to break the bank on leather pants when they could limit the activities you're able to engage in? Is it cute leather pants or standardized tests keeping finger painting out of the kindergarten classroom? Spoiler alert: wear what works for you! Heather Bernt-Santy of That Early Childhood Nerd is referenced in this episode as a resource on finding less restrictive dress codes for educators.

Candis and Annie explore what happens when we turn every interest our children have into a heavy set of expectations, a trap that many educators and parents fall into. The jumping off point for this chat is Psychology Today article titled Relieving Our Children of Their Potential.

Annie and Candis dive into the balance of actively deschooling while creating a consent-based, student-centered, self-directed learning space. Practices like seeking collaborative solutions, sharing mutual respect, and focusing on relationships are a few of the ways education spaces can find more "yes spaces" for young people. Referenced in this episode are "yes space" thought leaders Jeff Johnson, Lisa Murphy @ooeygooeylady, and Kristen Peterson @kristen.rb.peterson.

Annie and Candis take a closer look through the lens of Akilah Richards' definition of deschooling: "shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other people's agency over our time, body, thoughts, and actions." They discuss what it really means to stop behaving in the ways society wants you to behave in when you throw away the framework of school. Find more from Akilah through her podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and her book titled Raising Free People.

Candis and Annie discuss the motivations to walk away from the school system and begin to work toward something new. This work begins with deschooling, the ongoing deprogramming process to shed the expectations and beliefs internalized through being part of the school system. As we set out on this experience of letting go of our schoolish ways, we share the raw and vulnerable steps we'll encounter along the way. We mention many of the wise guides who have already helped us along the way. Here are some of them along with their Instagram accounts: Dr. Rema @drrema; Akilah Richards @fareofthefreechild; Iris Chen @untigering; Maleka Diggs @eclecticlearningnetwork; Fran Liberatore @bigmothering; Agile Learning Center @alc_network.