Outer Circle Inner Stillness

First, apologies that there is no week 1.

Recently I hosted a study of the book From Object to Icon, by Andrew Williams.

    Andrew Williams is an Orthodox Christian, and a graduate of Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology, and Oxford University, and the host of the podcast "Finding the Freedom to Live in the Image of God."

            Williams says, "The icon is central in our relationship with God; it is a source of healing and sanctification, and through it we can transcend the 'Things and facts of an objectivized and naturalized world.'" He also points out that veneration of an icon is a way of actively participating in the divine graces of God. Icons are not limited to just the wood and paint, but include each of us made in the image of God. Veneration, therefore, is not just kissing a painting, but is a way of seeing(really a way of living in) all of creation. As Christians, we ought to see all creation, especially its people, iconographically.

            The counterpart is to see the world pornographically. This certainly includes sexual pornography, but is also in fact its own way of living, that being a way that fails both to see others and to allow ones self to be seen in the healing and transformative way that each of us need.

            So then, in our study, we will explore the following big ideas:

            What are the spiritual realities present in the icon, and in the incredibly powerful spiritual encounter that takes place every time we practice veneration?

            What is pornography and what does it mean to see the world through this lens?

            How ought we to see people?

            How ought we allow ourselves to be seen, and why?

            What is a proper response to pornography(sexual imagery, internet pornography, etc)?

            For us in the care of children, how ought we to speak to our children about sex, pornography, the unforgiving risks of the internet, and the proper way to see themselves and others?

             William's writing is beautiful and compelling, just as the icons which have so captivated his vision, and sustained our faith. I encourage you to join me in reading through his work, and through our conversations, hopefully connect more deeply with each other.

          I hope you get to read along! Even if not, please let us know your thoughts in the comments!

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through⁠ ⁠⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠ and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at ⁠www.newpatterncounseling.com⁠, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

We started with the internet and a question about how to best prepare our kids to navigate the online world.

Now, we talk about pornography. Central to all of our concerns about our kids is the very present reality that kids get hurt, exploited, disconnected, and overwhelmed by digital and online content every day. It's not just about pornography...but we recognize that porn and sexual content has a particular prominence amongst the dangers to our kids found on the internet.

So then, we who are dads, and counselors, and most of us specifically trained to address porn addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors offer up our perspectives. We talk about what we do it our particular families to protect our particular kids.

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Stephen Black can be found through Fircrest Behavioral Health in Vancouver, WA at [email protected]

Trevor Winsor can be found through Pure Desire Ministries in Gresham, OR, www.puredesire.org and [email protected].

Ben Poling can be found through A New Day Counseling Center in Portland, OR at www.anewdaycounseling.org 

Keaton Kleiner can be found through City Care Counseling, serving all over Nebraska, at www.citycarecounseling.com. 

Other Resources Mentioned

https://fightthenewdrug.org/

#counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #sobriety #porn #pornography #pornaddiction #sexaddiction #kids #children #family #fatherhood #parenting #internet #technology #devices #safeguards #filteringsoftware #christianity #christian #faith #spirituality #church #religion #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #protestant #evangelical #brain 

Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes, by Voddie BauchamDopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, by Anna Lembke

How will you talk to your kids about the internet and devices? What kind of parameters will you set and why? What do you see are the benefits and risks of giving developing humans access to the maelstrom that is the online world?

In particular, how will you equip your kids in preparation for inevitable exposure to pornography?

I asked these questions of a group of dads who are also counselors, most of whom also specialize in sex and porn addiction. And thus, this conversation was born!

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Stephen Black can be found through Fircrest Behavioral Health in Vancouver, WA at [email protected]

Trevor Winsor can be found through Pure Desire Ministries in Gresham, OR, www.puredesire.org and [email protected].

Ben Poling can be found through A New Day Counseling Center in Portland, OR at www.anewdaycounseling.org 

Keaton Kleiner can be found through City Care Counseling, serving all over Nebraska, at www.citycarecounseling.com. 

Other Resources Mentioned

https://fightthenewdrug.org/

#counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #sobriety #porn #pornography #pornaddiction #sexaddiction #kids #children #family #fatherhood #parenting #internet #technology #devices #safeguards #filteringsoftware #christianity #christian #faith #spirituality #church #religion #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #protestant #evangelical #brain

Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes, by Voddie BauchamDopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, by Anna Lembke

All couples have problems, and sometimes they are problems the couple cannot solve on their own.  How can a couple begin to thrive when they are feeling stagnant? How can a couple survive the very difficult times? How can a couple heal after lethal wounds such as infidelity and betrayal?

Some couples go to counseling because they are doing well adn want to go from good to better. Others go to counseling because they need(and are able to use) some good tools.

Then there are the couples who have deeply wounded each other, often many times, and are on the brink of relationship collapse. 

Jeremiah Peck is a licensed professional counselor specializing in high conflict couples. He is also the founder of Ally Christian Counseling in Vancouver, Washington. In our conversation we talk about common mistakes that couples make when approaching a healing process. We also talk vital steps that most couples can and should take when they need to heal from something. We explore the balance of having “The right technique for the moment,” and just generally being nice to each other. 

And because we like philosophy, we take a stab at defining “love.” 

In all of this, we find that there are indeed ways to heal. The process is very difficult, but there is hope for the couple who chooses to take it. 

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Dr. Jeremiah Peck can be found at www.AllyChristianCounseling.com , and www.Allyacademynw.com , and on Youtube at Allyacademynw.

#marriage #couples #highconflictcouples #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy #addiction #betrayal #infidelity #trauma #intimacy #emotions #love #whatislove #skills #tools #relationships #community #conflict #conflictresolution

Matt Droguett is a Life Consultant and Self-Sabotage expert who is passionate about encouraging men in living whole and healthy lives, and who firmly believes in the importance of doing his own inner work.

Hailing from the Hawaiian islands, he brings his experience, expertise, and attention to men caught in patterns of sabotaging their marriage, particularly through use of pornography. His dream is to see emotionally healthy people go viral.

As is our custom, we talk about recovery - Matt’s passion is not about helping men quit using porn; what he wants is for them to be able to live whole and healthy lives! Porn just happens to often be one of the biggest obstacles.

We further discuss the challenge of the Spiritual Bypass and why you can’t just pray away your addiction problems. We explore at some length the difference between a thriving spiritual practice that builds a strong connection with God and doing all the same religious behaviors as a way of avoiding yourself.

Along the way, we talk about men and leadership, and the balance of “owning and leading your ship,” with humility.

Drawing on his coaching background, and me reflecting on running men’s recovery groups, we talk about a very practical issue - how much should a person in recovery tell their partner about slips, lapses, relapses, wayward thoughts, or other means of acting out? There’s a balance to strike between overshare and deception, and we aim to articulate what that is. The important thing to remember if you have lied to and betrayed your partner is that your partner’s biggest need is for safety.

Finally, we talk about the necessity for community, for spiritual practices, and for regularly doing spiritual practices in community.

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Matt Droguett can be found on Instagram at @mattdroguett and “The Matt Droguett Show,” on every podcast platform and on Youtube. He is further developing the ap “Uplift,” which is meant to encourage men by reminding them of what they already know about how to live well.

Contains explicit content - language, brief descriptions of war

Sobriety is challenging, even in the best of times for well-resourced civilians. Some folks struggle more, among them, our armed forces.

Soldiers in all branches of the military face a kind of stress that can only truly be understood by another soldier. Returning veterans carry unique burdens that can seem frightening and mysterious to those observing. Imagine what they are like for the people carrying them!

We can observe that addiction, particularly compulsive sexual behavior, is common among the armed forces and veteran population. One can wonder why this is. We know that war changes people. But how much? Does war cause a person to be more likely to develop an addiction? Or is it that people more pre-disposed to addiction are also more likely to join the military? How do traumatic brain injuried(TBIs) factor into the problem?

Most of all, how do we help our soldiers come home and heal?

Conrad Lipic is a veteran, an individual in recovery, and a recovery counselor and coach with specialization in treating compulsive sexual behaviors. He offers insights from his experiences, and invites us to consider hard and necessary questions. Finally, he provides suggestions and considerations for those helpers who want to support our armed forces as they learn to heal, connect, and thrive.

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Conrad Lipic can be reached at www.mindaligned.com and is currently accepting new clients.

Please do reach out! We’d love to hear from you!

#military #soldier #war #veteran #civilian #sobriety #recovery #addiction #compulsivesexualbehavior #sexaddiction #trauma #traumaticbraininjury #tbi #armylife #conradlipic #mindaligned #rhyspasimio #newpatterncounseling #csat #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy

Christian Gonzalez and Rhys Pasimio bring together clinical expertise, a shared love of Internal Family Systems, and the traditions of the Orthodox Church into one conversation about how to cultivate a healthy inner life.

Our center is on the person of Jesus Christ, but we talk about the difference between an intellectual understanding that may or may not make sense, and a tangible daily lived experience. 

Orthodoxy offers a “Beautiful healing way to live, versus just a right way of thinking. When we consider Orthodox spiritual practice, combined with the best of reflection skills from the psychotherapy world, we discover a way to experience healing, transformation, and the goodness of God here and now, in the body!

We again compare and contrast the language of “Parts” language Internal Family Systems and how Orthodoxy talks about the Passions. We reflect on our own experiences of learning to be gentle with, even praying for our wounded parts, and in this way finding more freedom than by endlessly criticizing ourselves.

Overall, we emphasize that Christianity is a way of life, one that is practiced daily. As counselors, we have access to even more tools to help us sustain the life giving practices. And all of this becomes possible in compassionate relationships with each other, and with a clear focus on Christ.

In discussing Lenten practices, we examine how asceticism factors into a spiritual practice, and caution against “The fourth taco.” 

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Christian Gonzalez can be found at [email protected], or with the Orthodox Youth and Young Adult Ministries on social media and at www.theoym.org .

#lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #christianity #monasticism #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #Addiction #reflection #meditation #family #marriage #parenting #counseling #psychology #internalfamilysystems #ifs #parts #allpartswelcome #nobadparts #mentalhealth #therapy #newpatterncounseling #oym #orthodoxyouthandyoungadultministries #christiangonzalez #rhyspasimio

Kevin Roberts is a husband, father, business owner, and a sub-deacon in the Orthodox Church. 

In today’s conversation, Rhys and Kevin discuss the meaning of commitment in the spiritual life. We reflect on how a person is shaped by the commitments the make, the relationships they maintain, and the life-long vocations they undertake. We reflect on being drawn to monasticism, but learning to know the presence of God in the midst of hectic family life. We talk about how submitting to authority, and allowing our most important relationships to impact and shape us is life-giving and centering. 

Our conversation happens in the midst of Great Lent - a season of fasting and extra spiritual rigors. In light of this, we reflect on seasons of desert and struggle and feeling lost in the spiritual life, the sobriety life, family life, and life in general. We reflect on how being in a desert does not mean you have failed…it’s just part of how you grow.

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Kevin Roberts can be found at [email protected], or reading the Epistle at the Divine Liturgy.

#lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #christianity #monasticism #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #Addiction #reflection #meditation #family #marriage #parenting #laity #readers #tonsure  #blessedsacramentleague #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling 

If Bible College was the crucible, then monasticism is daily crucifixion…and we’re glad to be here.

Sister Lisa’s journey has taken her from Protestant Bible College, to Roman Catholicism, to becoming a nun, to founding a new monastic order in the wilds of Arizona. 

Here, she and Rhys discuss the spiritual life, the sobriety life, and what we can learn from the monastic traditions. We explore how silence, the inner life, mindfulness, the nous, and daily entering a silent pause are all concepts that offer us clues about how to anchor our lives to something healing and meaningful, even in the midst of a very strenuous vocation. We talk about daily sacrifices, and why we need clear goals in order to continue making them. We talk about the importance of consistency, and of community, in developing the spiritual life. We talk about how a daily pause begins to reorient our whole lives. 

When embarking on a long spiritual journey, we need anchors, to be grounded and to remember why we make the sacrifices we do. We find that the anchor is the pause - the daily slowing down, entering the silence, and listening.

We are driven by our loves, and our loves are shown by the things we actually do every day.

In all things, we remember that no matter how we struggle, we are not alone.

Sister Lisa offers the sobriety tip - “When we say no something, we automatically say yes to something else.” Therefore, we must be very intentional about directing our “Yes” to something good.

Listen along, and let us know what you think!

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Sister Lisa can be found on Tik Tok(until the government shuts it down) at @SisterLisaH, or through her work with The League of the Blessed Sacrament at www.sacramentleague.com

#lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #catholicism #catholicspirituallife  #catholicmonasticism #romancatholic #christianity #monasticism #monasticwisdom #nun #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #monasticism #Addiction #reflection #meditation #blessedsacramentleague #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling 

How should “Creatures of the senses” manage their appetites? Here I talk with Abbot Tryphon about sobriety. We talk about the relationship between a person and their drug, the dangers of too much free time, the influence of our family systems upon us, and why running is good for sobriety. We talk about the importance of beginning the day focused on the faith, why men need bond with each other, hugging redwoods, and the time Abbot Tryphon was mistaken for John Lennon.

So then, what can we learn about sobriety from a monk? Healing and growth center on a full-life transformation. Sobriety, just like faith, is a life-long journey, that’s meant to be undertaken in close fellowship with others. Our bodies matter, therefore we should get outside, exercise, eat well, and not waste away on a screen. Above all, we should never lose hope, never give up, and always keep our focus on the Heavenly Kingdom and the One who heals our souls.

Listen along, and let us know what you think!

The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. 

Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Abbot Tryphon can be found at abbottryphon.com. There you’ll find links to his Facebook, Youtube, Telegram, and other platforms. And if you can, try to visit him in person at the monastery! - https://vashonmonks.com/

#abbottryphon #monk #monks #monastic #monastery #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #easternorthodoxy #vashonisland #spirituality #religion #sobriety #community #relationships #healing #psychology #technology #church #family #sobriety #reading #spiritual wisdom #recovery #sobriety #addiction #addictionrecovery #drugsandalcohol #pornography #mentalhealth #innerlife