Outnumbered

What is a dream destroyer? Simple. 

A deep HURT that made you UNKNOWINGLY or KNOWINGLY give up on your dream. You  have a GOAL. You have this big vision for your life, yet things (or people) happen and all of the sudden everything you ever wanted is thrown to the side. 

Dream destroyers wear the disguises of our parents, teachers, spouses, best friends, strangers. This can come down to a couple different things. Fears and doubts, discouragement from others, and circumstances.

In this episode, we will dive into all three of these things and help you recognize what's truly holding you back from going after your dreams. 

Today is all about moneyyyyyyyy. Cue song: Moneyyyy. Money Money Money.

I have the most incredible guest speaker today that is going to teach you how to take CONTROL of your FINANCES. That’s right homeslice, this is for YOU. The person in thousands of dollars of debt, the person with ambitions to be rich one day, the person who doesn’t want to worry about where their next meal is coming from. This podcast was recorded with you in mind. And the truth is, I AM you. Money has been a sensitive subject for me my ENTIRE life.

This interview with Chris Hogan completely changed everything for me and gave me such a new and exciting perspective on how we can completely take control of our financial situation. 

Chris Hogan is a two-time #1 national best-selling author & dynamic speaker and financial expert. For more than a decade, Hogan has served at Ramsey Solutions, spreading a message of hope to audiences across the country as a financial coach. He challenges and equips people to take control of their money and reach their financial goals, using The Chris Hogan Show, his national TV appearances, and live events across the nation.

His second book, Everyday Millionaires: How Ordinary People Built Extraordinary Wealth—And How You Can Too released in January 2019-- and you should 1000% read it-- and is based on the largest study of net-worth millionaires ever conducted. If you’re ready to hear this man change your mindset around money- then lets dive in to our interview. 

Want to hear my biggest trigger and the excuse that makes me want to bash my head into a wall? The TIME excuse. Now before you bite my head off, allow me to explain.

I get it. You have a lot on your calendar this week, month, year? Just don’t have the time? When anyone asks more of you, you quickly respond with your various reports of busyness, too much to do, and not enough time. Well it’s an excuse. And I know what you’re thinking: 

"Kelsey, you don’t know my life. You have absolutely NO idea what my day consists of. I have this to do, the things need me, I work 2 jobs, I barely sleep, it takes everything in my power to get food on the table, im in school, I am MOVING this month, I am renovating the house… YOU HAVE NO IDEA."

You’re absolutely right about one thing here. I don’t know you personally, and I don’t know what you have on your plate. But I’m still correct in saying that “busyness” has become your excuse- and people are tired of hearing it. You want to know why? WE ARE ALL BUSY. We live in a world of BUSY. Every single one of us do. But there is NO SUCH THING as too busy.

Busy is a time filler. It is the quick response to portraying yourself as too productive to participate in something. It’s the response we give when we really don’t want to do or commit to something, instead of just saying NO. Busy is the answer we provide when we want to avoid something or someone, instead of just making time another day or telling the truth.

Busy is a decision. It’s a choice. We do the things we want to do. Period. End of story. Too busy is short for not important enough. It means you would rather be doing something else that you consider more important. Simply put, you don’t find the time to do something. You make the time to do things.

In today's podcast- we dive into how to figure out what you prioritize to TAKE back your time. 

CHANGE is a control freak’s nightmare. Believe me, I get it. There is no worse feeling than watching everything around you start to change and you feel like you’re spiraling out of control. You so badly want to press pause on life, figure it the hell out, put things in order or back where they used to be. But the truth is, it’s impossible. You can rarely prevent change from happening, and the one thing we fail to remember (because we are so busy panicking) is that life is happening FOR us, not to us. 

It can feel paralyzing. I have friends facing change and they find themselves so worked up and in tears over something they can’t control. In fact, I am going through the most INTENSE time of my life in the change department right now. Ready for the damn truth bomb? Tune into this episode to learn the three stages of transition and how to come out of a major change on top.

In this episode, we are talking about how to be a better spouse. That’s right ya’ll. How WE can be a better spouse, NOT- how to change your significant other, get rid of his or her bad habits and turn them back into the person you first met six years ago. We are talking about how we can be better and why that alone will translate into a better marriage in general.

So allow me to introduce you to Dave Hollis. If you're familiar with the books, "Girl Wash Your Face or Girl Stop Apologizing" by Rachel Hollis, then you probably know who this guy is. He is the husband to Rachel, father to four children and the CEO of the Hollis Company. You may follow him on social media, take part in he and Rachel’s weekday morning chats on social media, listen to their podcasts, or even heard him live. Regardless, he is a VERY busy human being but he was kind enough to give me 30 minutes of his time so I could pick his brain and ask a TON of questions about a subject so many people ask me about. RELATIONSHIPS!

Spoiler alert: You'll learn in this podcast- that there is very LITTLE that you can control. The only thing you can control, is YOU. But with that being said, you can always be doing BETTER to give your relationship 100% every single day. Today, Dave talks about his relationship with Rachel and how it’s evolved over the years- a tough ultimatum he was given, and what he does every single day to ensure he is the best husband he can be.

And don’t worry, he leaves you some incredible tactical steps to begin taking control of your OWN personal relationship TODAY. 

A huge problem that so many babes face is they are going through so much inner turmoil and NEVER speak up about what they are going through, how they are hurting, etc. I'm not if society taught us that or what, but it can impact our lives so much more than we could ever realize.

Whether thats in a career, relationship, or a friendship, or someone hurts them, something doesn’t feel right, etc- they stay SILENT. They go on as normal, trying to make themselves adapt instead of standing up for themselves and what they believe is right.

The problem is, staying quiet does nothing but make it worse. In fact, sitting back and being silent is the perfect recipe to become a ticking time bomb. It begins to eat you alive and then before you know it, it gets SO bad that you can barely face the person or the situation without wanting to scream your lungs out. 

In today's Freestyle Friday, I want to share an example from my past that honestly shaped me and taught me so much about this subject. I hope it inspires you to speak up.

Entrepreneur Kacia Fitzgerald and I chat about controlling your ENERGY. I asked her to come on the show because as you’ll quickly see, she is HIGH energy, happy, inspirational, and motivational ALL THE DAMN TIME. Life doesn’t come easy to ANYONE and not even a Disney Princess always has the best days. But the reality is that so many of us just crash and burn the moment a day starts the wrong way, or you get an email that throws you off, or someone is rude to you. 

Kacia talks to you about how she not only transformed her energy, but her life by choosing to see the positives. In the next 30 minutes, we just TALK and laugh and go unscripted into a conversation about how to keep your energy UP and positive despite whatever life throws at you.

I’ve had a quote written on a post it note for since I started my business that says:

"You’re responsible for what you say and do, you’re NOT responsible for whether or not people freak out about it."

In today's Freestyle Friday, I'm going to get into a REAL life example that sparked this podcast- but the point is clear. A majority of our lives are based around the single thought of “What will people think of me?”  At the end of the day, it’s a trap and the biggest reason so many of us hold ourselves back from being the person we KNOW we are capable of becoming.

Luckily for me, I learned this a while ago and while I can’t openly declare to the world that I am suddenly at peace with what others think of me (because words STILL hurt), I can say that because I put myself out there on so many platforms- it’s just something that’s going to happen. I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and friend- you won’t either. But we have to go after what we want, speak OUR truths. We can’t hide our opinions, our true selves just because not everyone is going to be happy with it. 

As long as you have integrity and good intentions behind what you say, you'll learn in this episode that reactions have nothing to do with YOU.

A lot of you having been asking for me to share about our infertility journey. While I have began to open up about it and share our experiences on social media, I realized this is something that’s still really raw and tough to talk about. 

Until I did a team meeting last week- I realized I’ve never actually shared the ENTIRE story and the emotions with it ever.  So after praying on it- I realized it was time. You need me to share this with you, you need to hear that I feel pain too, that I’ve been there. The reason you need it so much- is to also help you realize you’re not alone. 

So because I know that a lot of you that listen may NOT be dealing with infertility, this podcast does share my story-- but I want you to identify the overarching theme of this entire message. Every single one of you are going through something. Every single one of you are feeling pain in some way. And today isn’t just to share my story with you- it’s to help ANYONE who is dealing with any situation move through it, move past it, and heal. 

A nasty attitude is more contagious than the flu and who are you to ruin someone’s day because YOU decided to have a bad one? Yes, the word DECIDED is supposed to be in that sentence. In today's Freestyle Friday, I will share my experience with a woman at the nail salon who taught me a lesson I wanted to pass on to you. 

Are you making someone BETTER or MISERABLE?

Self CHECK.