If your boundaries feel “mean,” that’s not a red flag—it’s a sign you’re finally breaking your good girl conditioning.

The bold truth: Boundaries only feel selfish when you’ve spent a lifetime abandoning yourself to be liked.

In this episode, Dasha unpacks one of the most uncomfortable—and liberating—parts of recovery from people-pleasing: giving yourself permission to set boundaries that don’t feel nice at first. When you grow up believing that saying yes makes you lovable, any form of “no” feels like betrayal. But what you’re actually betraying is the old identity built on guilt, fear, and self-abandonment.

Dasha shares her personal journey from chronic overgiving to building boundaries rooted in healthy self-interest. She breaks down why women often confuse people-pleasing with kindness, why guilt shows up the moment you set a limit, and why pushback from others is not a sign you're doing something wrong—but a sign you’re rewriting the rules of engagement.

She also offers practical boundary scripts for work, family, and friendships, and explains the emotional resilience required to hold the line when others react. This is the episode every recovering overachiever needs to hear.

• Why boundaries feel “mean” when you’re unlearning people-pleasing
• The difference between self-interest and selfishness
• How guilt and pushback show up—and why they’re normal
• Practical boundary scripts for real-life situations
• Why your “yes” becomes more trustworthy when it’s no longer driven by guilt

“Boundaries aren't punishment. They’re information.”

Join the waitlist for Soft & Strong, Dasha’s signature program for women who want to be both deeply spiritual and unapologetically boundary:
👉 Soft & Strong Waitlist

You can also grab Dasha’s free guide:
👉 Recovering Good Girl’s Guide to Setting Boundaries

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

People-pleasing looks generous on the surface—but underneath, it slowly drains your energy, integrity, and self-respect.

The bold truth: Saying yes from fear isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment wearing a polite smile.

In this episode, Dasha pulls back the curtain on the real cost of people-pleasing—the exhaustion, resentment, and self-silencing so many high-achieving women normalize as “being a good person.” She shares the story of a client who stayed up until midnight baking for a school fundraiser during one of the most demanding weeks of her career…and how no one even noticed. Because that’s how people-pleasing works: you pay the price, and no one else even knows the debt exists.

Dasha reveals how these patterns chip away at self-trust and keep women in cycles of overextending, overfunctioning, and earning love instead of receiving it. She explains how your body signals the moment you cross your own boundary—the tightness, the resentment, the silent scorekeeping—and how honoring your bandwidth can transform both your relationships and your self-respect.

This episode invites you to pause, reconnect with your truth, and practice giving from overflow instead of obligation.

• Why people-pleasing masquerades as generosity
• The emotional, energetic, and relational cost of saying yes from fear
• How your body signals boundary-crossing
• The difference between sustainable generosity and self-abandonment
• How to rebuild trust in your own “yes”

“People-pleasing isn’t love. It’s a form of self-abandonment dressed as kindness.”

Join the Freedom From Guilt & Obligation Bootcamp—a 14-day transformation to unwind people-pleasing, honor your bandwidth, and rebuild a self-respecting “yes.”

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

What does it actually look like to stop people-pleasing—and live from self-interest instead of self-abandonment?

The bold truth: Recovery from “good girl conditioning” isn’t a checklist. It’s an identity shift.

In this episode, Dasha shares a deeply personal story about what recovery from people-pleasing looks like in real life—not as a concept, but as a lived transformation. Most successful women can’t imagine what life would be like if they didn’t constantly earn their belonging through overgiving. Dasha reveals how she used to believe her generosity was a virtue, when in truth it was tied to an unconscious agenda: buying love, safety, and acceptance.

Through her own journey, she explores the invisible beliefs that kept her overfunctioning, the disorienting transition of relearning how to receive, and the moment she realized she no longer collapses under someone else’s misperception—including those of her own family. She explains how giving has changed—not less giving, but cleaner, more honest, without strings or self-sacrifice.

This episode is an invitation to notice your own reactions, your own conditioning, and the places where your “yes” is still coming from fear, habit, or obligation—not from truth.

• What “good girl conditioning” looks like beneath the surface
• The unconscious agenda driving people-pleasing
• Learning to receive without earning
• Shifting from self-abandonment to self-respect
• What real recovery looks like inside relationships

“Giving isn’t bad. But giving from depletion is self-abandonment.”

Join the Freedom From Guilt & Obligation Bootcamp—a 14-day transformation to unwind resentment, overcommitting, and the invisible rules that keep you living for everyone but yourself.

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

If your energy feels “overdrafted” by noon, this episode will hit home.

The bold truth: Most successful women budget everything except the one thing that matters most—our energy.

In this episode, Dasha breaks down the skill no one ever teaches high-functioning women: how to ration your energy with the same intention you use to budget money.

Overachievers often give 100% to tasks that only require 40%, leaving nothing left for what actually matters. Dasha explains how to track your energetic spending, recognize where you’re leaking power, and make smarter decisions based on when you’re at your best—not when the clock says you should be.

Through real examples and the familiar rhythms of a workday, she illustrates how perfectionism, reactivity, and unconscious overgiving drain high-achieving women long before the day is over. She invites you to notice where your energy naturally rises and falls, what deserves your prime-time attention, and what only deserves “good enough.”

This episode offers a compassionate but honest reframe: you don’t need more energy—you just need to spend it differently.

• Why overachievers consistently overspend their best energy
• Energy budgeting vs. time budgeting
• How to identify energetic “withdrawals” and “deposits”
• The difference between 100% effort and “good enough”
• Using self-awareness as decision-making data

“You only have so much energy today—use it wisely.”

Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

Are you protecting your energy… or accidentally stealing it from other people?

The bold truth: Most successful women don’t realize how often they regulate their nervous system through other people instead of through themselves.

In this episode, Dasha breaks down a pattern most high-functioning women fall into without knowing it: using other people’s nervous systems to feel better. Whether it’s venting, gossiping, or amplifying a small moment into a dramatic one, these energy-grabbing behaviors are often unconscious attempts to climb out of a low, frozen state.

Dasha shares why this happens on a nervous-system level, how you can recognize the instinct in real time, and what it means to protect—not leak—your own energy. She also tells a personal story about nearly being in a car accident and feeling the urge to “borrow” energy from others, and how catching herself changed everything.

This episode is not about guilt. It’s about discernment. When you stop outsourcing your regulation, you start reclaiming your energy, your clarity, and your power.

• The difference between protecting your energy vs. stealing it
• How the nervous system “ladder” drives your reactions
• Why venting, gossip, and drama feel good temporarily
• Self-regulation vs. outsourcing your regulation
• What it looks like to reclaim your energetic boundaries

“Protecting your energy isn’t selfish. It’s essential.”
“You don’t need to steal someone else’s spark to feel alive.”

Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

When “good vibes only” becomes a weapon against your own humanity, something’s off.

Toxic positivity isn’t healing — it’s self-abandonment dressed up as being “high vibe.”

In this episode, Dasha breaks down how spiritual-sounding advice like “just forgive,” “focus on the good,” or “let it go” can actually keep recovering good girls stuck in resentment, burnout, and victim mentality. If you’ve ever shamed yourself for still being upset, this is your permission slip to stop forcing yourself to rise above what actually needs your attention.

Dasha walks through how resentment is not proof that you’re unhealed — it’s data. It’s your system saying, “A boundary was crossed. I gave my power away. I’m not taking good care of my energy.” Instead of circling the drain in toxic positivity, she shows you how to use that data to step back into authorship of your life.

You’ll hear how a simple scenario (a friend repeatedly showing up late) becomes a portal into radical responsibility: naming what didn’t go your way, seeing where you minimized yourself, and choosing a different response that protects your time and energy going forward.

This isn’t about never getting angry. It’s about letting anger and resentment guide you back to your values, your limits, and your power.

Key topics:

• How toxic positivity keeps successful women stuck and resentful
• Resentment as boundary data, not proof you’re “low vibe”
• Moving from “this happened to me” into “I’m the author of my life”
• Using your needs and values to guide honest conversations and limits

Signature Dasha quotes:

“Your resentment is not low vibe. It’s data.”
“You don’t need to smile and fake your way out of pain.”

Stop forcing high vibes and start honoring what you actually feel.
Grab the Recovering Good Girl’s Guide to Dropping Toxic Positivity — a practical, no-BS guide that shows you how to stop abandoning yourself, use resentment as boundary data, and move toward real healing instead of spiritual bypassing.
Download it here: http://coachingbydasha.kit.com/toxicpositivity

Connect with Dasha

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

If your boundaries feel mean at first, you’re probably doing them right.

Most high-achieving women were raised to believe that being helpful, agreeable, and available made them good people. The result? Saying yes when they mean no, giving when they’re empty, and showing up when they need rest. In this episode, Dasha reframes boundaries—not as selfish, but as a radical act of healthy self-interest.

She explains why so many women equate boundaries with rejection, and how “people-pleasing isn’t kindness—it’s fear.” Through personal stories and practical scripts, Dasha shows that boundaries aren’t walls or punishments. They’re information—clear communication about what you are and aren’t available for.

You’ll learn how to identify when guilt is running the show (“I should,” “they’ll be upset if I don’t”) versus when your decisions are rooted in self-interest (“this isn’t aligned with my values,” “I don’t have the bandwidth right now”). She also prepares you for the pushback that inevitably comes when you stop overfunctioning—and reminds you that discomfort isn’t proof you’re doing it wrong; it’s proof you’re growing.

When you stop saying yes out of guilt, your yes becomes more meaningful. Boundaries don’t make you less loving—they make your love more genuine.

Key topics:

• The difference between guilt-driven giving and healthy self-interest
• Why “if your boundaries feel mean, you’re doing them right”
• Scripts for saying no at work, with friends, and in family dynamics
• Building disappointment tolerance and handling pushback
• Why boundaries preserve relationships instead of ruining them

Key Quotes:

“People-pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s fear.”
“Boundaries don’t make you less loving—they make your love more genuine.”

Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun?
Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.

Ready to be both boundaried and loving?
Join the Soft & Strong Waitlist — the 12-week group experience for women who want to be both firm and kind, strong and soft.

Connect with Dasha:
Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

You’ve done everything right—and still feel flat. Here’s the truth about the hidden shame behind “having it all.”

You’ve built the life that looks perfect on paper—career, family, success. But inside, you feel restless. Flat. Guilty for even wanting more. You tell yourself you should be happy, but gratitude doesn’t cancel out desire.

In this episode, Dasha unpacks the hidden shame of high-achieving women who have everything they thought they wanted—and still feel unfulfilled. She shares the real reason “enough” always moves farther away and why your craving for more joy, meaning, and aliveness isn’t selfish—it’s sacred.

Through stories from her clients and her own journey from therapist to transformation coach, Dasha reveals the three truths every recovering overachiever needs to hear:

• “Enough” isn’t a finish line—it’s a moving target.
• Desire isn’t greedy—it’s the voice of your life energy.
• You don’t have to prove your worth to deserve peace.

If you’ve ever whispered, “Shouldn’t I be happy?”—you’re not broken. You’re evolving. You’re simply waking up to your next chapter.

• The secret shame behind “having it all”
• Why gratitude and desire can coexist
• The myth of “enough” and how it keeps you chasing
• The invisible “good girl” rulebook
• Living from authenticity instead of exhaustion

“Gratitude grounds you. Desire expands you.”

“You’re not unhappy because your hormones are out of balance—you’re evolving, and your life just hasn’t caught up yet.”

Feeling like “good” isn’t enough anymore?

Download Dasha’s free guide, It’s Okay to Want More, and learn how to release the guilt that keeps you stuck in “I’m fine.”

Because a good life isn’t supposed to look perfect—it’s supposed to feel true to you.

Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

These leaks can shape your whole identity if you let them, but they can also be closed with the right mindset and habits.

In the final part of our energy leaks series, we're tackling the hardest ones—the patterns so deeply embedded they feel like who you are. But here's the truth: perfectionism rooted in shame, resentment that poisons only you, and emotional reactivity that hands your power to everyone else are not your identity. They're leaks you can seal.

Perfectionism isn't about high standards—it's about covering up feelings of inadequacy by chasing an unattainable goal. Whether you wear it as a badge of honor or disguise it as "high standards," you're exhausting yourself trying to avoid judgment instead of healing the underlying shame. Resentment feels like it punishes the other person, but as the saying goes, it's like taking poison and waiting for them to die. And emotional reactivity? That's victimhood in action—making your peace dependent on what everyone else does.

The deep fix for all of these isn't surface-level boundary setting. It's taking responsibility for everything that happens for you, not to you. It's learning that adults can't be abandoned, only children can. It's understanding that most people are on their own path, not targeting you personally. When you reclaim your power through personal responsibility and stop taking things personally, you shift from powerless victimhood into agency and intentional decision-making.

Key Topics:

• Perfectionism as shame-based behavior disguised as high standards
• Resentment as poison that only hurts the one carrying it
• Emotional reactivity and the victimhood stance that drains energy
• Taking responsibility for everything that happens "for you," not "to you"
• Learning to pause, stay in your lane, and respond with intention

"Your energy is your most valuable resource. Guard it like it's priceless, because it is."

Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.

Connect with Dasha:

• Website: coachingbydasha.com
• LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia

These emotional leaks feel like such a part of your personality, but they're not—you can change them one small decision at a time.

In part two of our energy leaks series, we're diving into the emotional drains that might be so familiar you don't even recognize them as leaks. These aren't the obvious time-wasters—they're the sneaky patterns that keep you stuck in loops, chip away at your confidence, and leave you feeling depleted without knowing why.

Today I'm breaking down three major emotional leaks: living in the past (replaying old conversations and dwelling on regrets instead of preparing for your next opportunity), negative self-talk (including that self-deprecating humor that erodes your self-trust), and overcommitting through people-pleasing (the fastest path to burnout and resentment). As someone who used to do a lot for other people at my expense, thinking that's how I'd earn love and acceptance, I know firsthand what a damaging fallacy this is.

The solutions aren't surface-level boundary setting or time management techniques. We're talking about healing old wounds through therapy or coaching, replacing self-criticism with self-compassion using a simple formula, and learning to tolerate other people's disappointment when you protect your limited energy. Remember: no amount of people-pleasing will replace true self-love and acceptance.

Key Topics:

• Living in the past and breaking cycles of replaying old hurt
• Negative self-talk and the erosion of self-trust and confidence
• Overcommitting and people-pleasing as paths to burnout and resentment
• Self-compassion formulas for breaking shame cycles
• Learning to tolerate disappointment when protecting your energy

"Who would you be without this repetitive thought?"

Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.

Connect with Dasha:

• Website: coachingbydasha.com
• LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia