The Bible describes David as “A man after God’s own heart”, yet his life got sideways and there was a season where David lived a double life. David wasn’t the only person on the planet that has lived a hypocritical double life as a child of God. No doubt there are some of us that are currently living a double life. We may be compartmentalizing our own sin and trying to manage our own darkness while projecting a different image towards others. Our guest Alan Chan joins the podcast this week to talk about the process of overcoming past shame and embracing the transformation of walking a new path with Christ.   DISCUSSION GUIDE If you could put together the perfect fast food meal what would it be? (Ex. Entree - Chick-fil-A chicken Sandwich, Side - Arby’s curly fries, Drink - McDonald’s diet coke, dessert - Cookout Milkshake) What was your first full-time job? How did you connect with the other employees? An invite to volleyball and Thursday night dinner connected Alan to the church. Who helped you connect to the church? Is there anyone you could invite to a church-related group or event? Alan talks about how he lived a double life for a season. He went to church events but still partied throughout the week. Has there been a season where you have lived a double life? Are you living one now? What effect does living a double life have on you? What effect does it have on people around you? Read John 10:10. What areas of life are you letting the accuser steal from you? How can you step into the full life Jesus wants you to have? Have you ever been confronted by a Christian brother on sin in your life? How did they handle it? How did you respond? Read Psalm 32:1-5. What does this passage teach us about God’s grace and how he wants us to be honest with our sin? Alan talked about rededicating his life, getting baptized, & being transformed by Jesus. Share about your baptism and how God has transformed you from your old life. What else from the podcast spoke to you? What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?   NEXT STEPS    Join a Group at southland.church/groups   For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church        

Overcoming Shame & Embracing Transformation, with Alan Chan

Locker room is a men's podcast from Southland Christian Church in Kentucky. When you think about the kinds of conversation that happen in locker rooms you probably think about vulgar, childish and demeaning language. In this podcast we are redeeming men's conversations by talking about the right things in the right ways.

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

We’ve covered a lot of ground together this season on the podcast. This week Scott is joined by Ian Schweitzer to review and expand on some of the biggest subjects we’ve tackled this year. We’ll also talk about an important event coming up in the fall specifically for men, 18 years of age and up, from any of our campuses—our first Men’s Retreat. October 18-20. Locker Room will be back on August 30 for season thirteen. Have a great summer! DISCUSSION GUIDE What have been the episodes from this season that you learned from the most? Who can you think of that you can send episodes to from this season? Let us know, how are you using Locker Room? Email lockerroom@southland.church Scott and Ian reviewed the whole season. Did you have an episode that you think every man needs to hear? If so, please share it with them! NEXT STEPS    If you’re wrestling with Christianity, would like to become a Christ-follower, or need help figuring out your next step, email us at lockerroom@southland.church.     Join a Group at southland.church/groups   Men’s Retreat October 18-20, sign up at this link https://southland.church/men   Fight Club starting at Lexington Campus August 26th    Season 13 of Locker Room will kickoff August 30th   For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church    

Season 12 Wrap Up

In our world, sex before marriage is normal, hooking up is normal, funky sex is normal, and pornography is normal. Normal is: sex is casual and inclusive, not exclusive and monogamous. In college, having a “body count” is normal. Normal is riddled with shame and regret. Normal is broken. Normal is living in guilt. Normal is unchecked and distorted desires that make us more like animals than God’s prized creation. Normal is struggling dating relationships. Normal is struggling marriages. Normal is divorced. Normal is habitual sexual sin and sexual addiction. Let’s not be normal! Let’s stop being normal, like everybody else! God made you for love—don’t settle for lust. The gospel is about freedom in Christ—don't settle for crippling addition. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:2(NIV) Join us this week on Locker Room as we talk about a subject that is eating men’s lunch: pornography.   DISCUSSION GUIDE Scott shared a lot of startling statistics about pornography. Which stood out to you? What do these statistics reveal about our culture as a whole? “And it’s not just the people in the world—it’s people in the church.” What do the stats about Christians using pornography reveal about the church as a whole? “Sin will take us farther than we ever wanted to go, keep us longer than we ever wanted to stay, and cost us more than we thought it would cost us.” How have you seen this statement prove true in your life experience? Read James 1:13-15. The Enemy is real and you will be tempted. How have you effectively fought temptation? Where do you need help? Read Galatians 6:7-8. What are you currently “sowing” (planting) in your life? How have you seen that produce what you “reap” in your life? Read 1 Corinthians 10:12-13. We have to leverage God’s promise of strength in the face of temptation. Do you really believe he will provide a way out of temptation? What tools does God give us to escape? What is your “why” for fighting temptation? Read John 14:13. We have to leverage the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit’s activity in our lives. Have you been baptized and received the Holy Spirit? If not, that is your first step in fighting temptation. If yes, how can you practically utilize prayer and the Spirit to fight temptation? Read Romans 6:1-7, 11-18. If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to understand our new position in Christ. If you are a Jesus follower you are no longer a slave to sin. Do you believe that? How can you believe that truth? Read 1 John 1:8-9. If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to confess our sin and not conceal it. Is there sin that you have not confessed to a fellow believer? Why are you holding onto it? Who can you tell? How can this group help? If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to hate sin! What steps can you take to truly fight this sin? Do you need to sign up for Covenant Eyes or something like it? Be honest and answer, “Left unchecked, what could your sexual sin cost you?” Based on your answer what do you need to do NOW? What else from the podcast spoke to you? What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down? NEXT STEPS    Sign up for accountability with covenanteyes.com   Join a Group at southland.church/groups   For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church    

Quit Porn

If you are a parent and have kids in your home, you are passing on something to them. Whether you’ve been intentional or not, well-meaning or not, you are building a legacy. The question is, will that legacy you are giving them be good, healthy and eternal? Or is it something else? John Sampson joins Scott on the podcast this week to talk about leaving a legacy for our kids of loving God and others, and preparing them for life as an independent adult.   DISCUSSION GUIDE We started off with some fun in the podcast, which of the Chuck Norris lines did you like the most? The role of parents is, “teaching and training our kids to love God, love people, and leave home.” After hearing that, does it change your view on what it means to be a parent? A couple of acknowledgments have been made. 1. Parenting is the hardest job on the planet. 2. There are no perfect parents, no perfect children, and no perfect families. Does that reminder release any stress you have about either being a parent or potentially being a parent one day? Part 1: Teach and train our kids to love God. Read Ephesians 6:1-4. What sticks out to you about that piece of scripture? What should be implemented into your role as a dad to help your kids grow in their love for God? Part 2: Teach and train our kids to love people. Read Mark 12:30-31. With that verse and many others mentioned about how important it is to love others, what sticks out to you about that piece of scripture? Scott and John talked about how important it is that parents know their kids' friends’. Also, about how important it is to know where those friends are in their “circles” of friendship. What are the best practices you’ve seen in this happening? What are the bad practices of this? Part 3: Teach and train our kids to leave home. Scott talks through two critical actions: 1. Reinforce through training. 2. Cut ropes to prepare them for independence. What are the hardest parts of helping your children become prepared to leave home? What else from the podcast spoke to you? What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?   NEXT STEPS    If you’re wrestling with Christianity, would like to become a Christ-follower, or need help figuring out your next step, email us at lockerroom@southland.church.     Join a Group at southland.church/groups   For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church    

Parenting: Love God, Love People, Leave Home

Phones, technology and social media are simply tools for communication. The effects of using a tool depend on the purpose for which it is used, but the tool itself is neutral in origin. It’s similar to having a hammer. You can build something with a hammer. You can also destroy something or hurt someone. The tools are not the problem. How something is used is the problem. The same is true with social media and smartphones. In this episode we’ll discuss how to use technology appropriately and navigating when and how to introduce technology safely into the lives of your kids. Our guest on the podcast this week is Scott Harvey. Scott has 20 years of experience in law enforcement, specializing in hostage negotiations and communication. He is also a husband and girl dad, and author of the book, Silence Kills: Communication Tactics to Speak with Confidence and Build Your Influence.   DISCUSSION GUIDE What was the first cell phone you owned? What year did you get it? What did you primarily use it for? Which tool (literally or figuratively) do you find most valuable? What makes it so important to you? Technology like a smartphone is a tool that can be used for good or bad. How has having a smartphone been good for you? How has it been bad? Scott mentioned two points for determining when your child should get a smartphone: 1) Point of need. 2) Point of responsibility. What are good things to consider when making this decision? Did your parents utilize similar rules when giving you responsibility like this? It can be easy to default to buying the newest, nicest thing. What are some healthy questions to ask yourself before you add any new technology (newest phone, VR, Gaming system, etc.) to your life? In what ways have you used social media? What apps do you currently use? What do you enjoy about the apps you use? What issues have come about from social media? Scott mentioned how we handle our kids’ minor screw-ups will affect how they approach major mess-ups. How do you react when your child disobeys? How can you start healthy lines of conversation now so that they can come to you in times of need? What boundaries, time limits, etc. are healthy to set for your children’s phones? What about for your phone? The episode discussed the dangers of pornography, sexting, and sextortion. What do we do with the information? How do we communicate this well to our kids? How do we provide space for confession when our kids make these errors? What else from the podcast spoke to you? What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?   NEXT STEPS    Join a Group at southland.church/groups   For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church    

Parenting: Smartphones and Social Media, with Scott Harvey

Parents work really hard to be intentional when their kids are young. In those early years we teach them so much: how to walk, talk, eat, have manners, to say they're sorry, to learn to play with others, to be grateful…all these things. But the decisions our teenagers make in middle and high school have bigger consequences. The stakes are higher; the fallout greater. The decisions they make in these seven years set up their lives in college or young adulthood, and in turn can set the tone for the next forty years of their lives. So we want to do our best to take advantage of these seven years in middle and high school. In today’s episode of Locker Room, we circle up with members of Southland’s Student Ministry: Connor Hall, Casey Whitehead and Peter Sohn to talk about some of the unique challenges facing our teens as they navigate our current culture.   DISCUSSION GUIDE What were you like in your teenage years? “Parents are primary, student ministry is secondary.” What encourages you about the partnership between you as a parent and the church’s role in ministry to your son or daughter? This age range is where so much happens in a students’ life. How do you think you’ll react or how did you react to your son or daughter being in that age range? Scott and the student team went through “dysphoria” specifically “gender dysphoria” and “transgender” and the definitions of those. Obviously a lot is going on in terminology for teenagers today but also for everyone. What has helped you as a Christian man to combat these topics? There’s a lot of truth from the bible about what God says about who we are and what God says about life and who we are made to be. What can you do practically to share this with your teenager? Scott and the student team talked about sex, dating, and marriage and how important it is to “not be late to the game.” How can you encourage a friend or yourself to do this before it’s too late to speak biblical truth? Asking good questions was mentioned. What does it look like to really take intentional time to ask the right questions to your teenager? What else from the podcast spoke to you? What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?   NEXT STEPS    Join a Group at southland.church/groups   Go to southland.church/volunteer to sign up to volunteer in student ministry   Resources    Parenting by Paul David Tripp   Irreversible Damage: The Transgendered Craze Seducing Our Daughters, by Abigail Shrier    Holy Sexuality and the Gospel:  Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story, by Christopher Yuan.      Out of a Far Country:  A Gay Son’s Journey to God.  A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope. By Christopher Yuan & Angela Yuan.   Gay Girl, Good God, by Jackie Hill Perry.     For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church    

Overcoming Shame & Embracing Transformation, with Alan Chan

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