Ownit! Powercast

In this episode, I'm joined by Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out, for an important conversation about coercive control and high-conflict divorce. Together, we explore the critical difference between typical divorce conflict — which usually de-escalates over time — and controlling behavior that escalates, creating ongoing fear, instability, and exhaustion.

Lisa is a high-conflict divorce strategist and a certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances. Her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal and is now being used as legal precedent...something that's incredibly rare for a self-represented litigant.

Her live testimony also helped pass Jennifer's Law in Connecticut, making it the third state in the country to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control: a form of abuse that so many people experience, but often struggle to name or be taken seriously around.

Lisa and her partner, Chris, now coach people navigating high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and what many describe as co-parenting hell — helping them have the best possible outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters.

Lisa explains how coercive control can include manipulation, financial abuse, and legal abuse, often carried out in quiet, passive ways that are easily misunderstood or minimized. The episode sheds light on why some individuals never "cool down," how the legal system can be used as a tool of control, and why patience and better communication are not enough in these situations.

Domestic violence doesn't

always leave bruises.

It can look like creating fear

through quiet control,

financial strain, or legal pressure.

Find out more about Lisa here:

https://beentheregotout.com/

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Many people feel emotionally drained not because they care too much, but because they carry too much. In this episode, I explore why empathy often turns into exhaustion, especially for those who learned early to manage emotions and prevent conflict. We talk about how over-carrying impacts the nervous system, boundaries, and sense of self, even when relationships appear 'fine' on the surface.

This conversation looks at what healthy detachment actually is — and what it isn't. I break down the difference between empathy and emotional fusion, explain why emotional ownership matters, and share how staying grounded allows for deeper connection without self-loss. This episode is an invitation to stay compassionate and self-respecting at the same time.

Respect means

trusting others

to meet themselves

where they are.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

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As a new year begins, many people feel the pull to reset, and at the same time, notice how hard it is to protect their energy, time, and emotional space. In this episode, I explore why boundaries can feel especially tender right now, particularly when the world feels uncertain or overwhelming. We talk about how stress and fear impact our nervous systems, and why this context matters when we're trying to show up with clarity and self-respect.

I share insights on recognizing when boundaries are being tested in subtle ways, how to respond without guilt or defensiveness, and why healthy boundaries don't damage relationships — they actually make them safer and more honest. This episode is an invitation to practice clarity with compassion, especially when it feels uncomfortable or new.

Their repeated confusion

about your boundary

is rarely confusion.

It's avoidance

of accountability.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

January isn't about reinvention. It's about re-orientation.

Many people come into January feeling scattered, tired, or strangely disconnected…and assume they should be further along by now. In this episode, I talk about why that experience makes sense, especially after a year that asked so much of our nervous systems. Rather than pushing for motivation or clarity, we explore what's really happening underneath the surface when life has been overwhelming for a long time.

I share why re-centering begins with boundaries that define the self, not pressure to perform or fix anything. We look at how small, anchoring choices help restore a sense of agency and safety - and why self-trust is rebuilt through consistency, not intensity. This conversation is an invitation to slow down, reconnect, and begin the year with steadiness instead of urgency.

Sometimes what we call

lack of motivation

is really a need for safety.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

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The holidays often come with unspoken expectations to overgive, overexplain, and override our own needs. In this episode, I introduce the concept of a Holiday Bill of Rights: compassionate reminder of what we are allowed to honor during a season that can easily pull us back into old roles and patterns. Rather than focusing on "doing more self-care," this episode centers on self-loyalty, emotional honesty, and boundaries that protect our nervous system, energy, and well-being. If the holidays tend to stir guilt, grief, or pressure to perform, this conversation offers language, permission, and relief.

Three Key Takeaways

1. Boundaries are not about control, they're about self-respect. Honoring your limits doesn't require agreement or approval from others. Feeling guilt doesn't mean you're doing something wrong; it often means you're doing something different.

2. You're allowed to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of tradition. Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn't mean it still fits. Growth often requires renegotiating expectations, especially during the holidays.

3. Your nervous system matters more than appearances. Emotional safety, rest, and clarity are not luxuries. When you listen to your body and honor your needs, you create a more grounded and authentic holiday experience.

Tradition

should create connection,

not obligation.

If it costs you your peace,

you're allowed to opt out.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

In this episode, we're continuing our holiday self-care series with one essential truth: real peace begins when we're honest about what we can actually handle. The holidays tend to pull us back into old roles and emotional patterns, leaving us overwhelmed, overextended, and disconnected from ourselves before we even realize it. Today, we explore why this happens, how to recognize the subtle moments of self-abandonment, and what it looks like to care for yourself from a place of truth instead of pressure or performance.

Three Takeaways

1. You'll learn the surprising reason holiday stress often has less to do with events and more to do with old emotional patterns we slip into without noticing.

2. We'll talk about how to identify the quiet, subtle moments where you start abandoning yourself… and what a small shift toward honesty can do for your peace.

3. You'll walk away with simple, practical questions that help you stay grounded, connected, and true to yourself no matter what the season brings.

You can't set a healthy boundary

if you aren't willing to

tell yourself the truth first.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

This week, we're pulling a good one from the vault…

Welcome to Episode 191 where we dig into how real self-care means following through on what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

In this episode we dive deeper into the idea that TRUE self-care is when we make it real. When we follow through on both holding the line on our boundaries and taking responsibility for what we have promised ourselves we would take care of. Self-care involves following through with actions that nourish your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. We talked last week about some of the good things and not so good things to have in our life. If you haven't had a chance to listen to that yet you might want to do that first…and come join us back here when you're done so this episode will make more sense.

When you commit to taking care of yourself, it means setting boundaries, saying no to things that drain you, prioritizing rest and relaxation, and making time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Following through with these actions not only benefits your own well-being, but also supports your ability to be assertive and advocate for yourself in all areas of your life.

Key Elements:

· Explore the some of the consequences of not following through on self-care

· Identify how taking care of ourselves is the best way to feel more confident.

· Identify ways to make it easier to commit and follow through.

You don't have to

prove anything

this holiday season –

not your worth,

not your patience,

not your strength.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

This week, we're looking at how our families shaped the way we think about boundaries and why holiday gatherings like Thanksgiving tend to reactivate old roles and survival strategies.

This episode explores how to show up differently this Thanksgiving — grounded, prepared, and centered — instead of slipping back into the versions of ourselves we've outgrown. You'll learn how to notice old triggers before you walk in the door, create invisible boundaries that protect your energy, plan resets and exit strategies without guilt, and stay connected to the adult version of you instead of the child who learned to self-abandon. This is about creating safety inside yourself so you no longer trade your peace for approval.

Three Things to Think About:

1. Why family gatherings often reactivate old roles — and how to stay anchored in the adult you are now, not the child you used to be.

2. How to prepare your nervous system before you arrive so you can stay present, grounded, and connected to yourself throughout the day.

3. Simple ways to protect your peace quietly and confidently even when others have big emotions, expectations, or reactions.

The adult you are today

gets to make choices

the child version of you

never had.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Boundaries aren't just about saying no - they're about finally seeing clearly. In this episode, I break down how boundary work forces us out of fantasy and into reality, and why this shift brings up grief, sadness, and confusion before it brings peace. We explore what detachment actually means (loving without carrying), why acceptance always asks us to grieve the illusions we've held onto, and how seeing the truth opens the path to emotional freedom, self-respect, and grounded decision-making.

Three Things to Think About:

1. Why clarity feels uncomfortable before it feels freeing — and how boundaries shift you from potential to reality in ways you may not expect.

2. What healthy detachment really looks like — and why it's not distance, coldness, or giving up, but something far more grounded and compassionate.

3. How grief and acceptance quietly shape boundary work — and how these emotions help you stop carrying what was never yours to hold.

Sometimes the hardest goodbye

is to the version of someone

you hoped they'd be.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

When you start communicating with boundaries, the tone of every relationship begins to change — sometimes in ways that surprise you. In this episode, Mary Baker breaks down what it really means to speak from emotional honesty and detachment, and why this combination completely shifts the emotional climate at home, at work, and in your friendships. You'll learn how calm, grounded communication builds trust and respect while reducing drama and confusion.

But this kind of growth doesn't always feel peaceful at first. Mary walks listeners through what happens when you stop rescuing, overexplaining, and cushioning your truth — and how to stay steady when others aren't used to your new clarity. If you've ever wondered why honesty and boundaries go hand in hand, this episode will help you find your footing and your voice.

Three Takeaways

1. Grounded truth changes the room. When you communicate from honesty instead of fear, people can feel the difference — and so can you.

2. Discomfort doesn't mean you're wrong. Early tension often signals the system adjusting to your new clarity, not a mistake on your part.

3. Calm is the new power. You can speak directly and stay kind without rescuing, fixing, or losing yourself in the process.

When you learn to

communicate from truth,

not fear,

everything changes.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour