We go Pac in time to review the Pac-Man games of 1983: Pac & Pal, Professor Pac-Man, and Jr. Pac-Man. Namco and Bally/Midway are not happy with each other and it's leading to a messy divorce. Pac-Man gets a pal that is either a ghost or a dog (but sadly not Forest Whitaker), receives a doctorate in annoying image quizzes, and leaves the missus to care for their first born. How did GCC contribute to the rise and fall of Pac-Man? Why did a stolen concept turn into the worst Pac-Man game? What makes Jr. Pac-Man's mazes thicc? Can it really be a Pac-Man game if it has no stick? Also discussed: art appreciation, the necessities of clearing your search history, Romeo + Juliet, and a tease for our upcoming Insert Coin commentary.