Paleo Bites

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaskacephale)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Alaskacephale, a northern dinosaur that somehow had enough minor differences to escape being lumped into the genus Pachycephalosaurus, but the wildly different and far more spiky Dracorex and Stygimoloch didn’t. Yeah, I’m never letting that go. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot pachycephalosaurid lived alongside the other arctic dinosaurs like Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus, meaning they either had feathers to keep warm in the winter or they just used their inherent size as a form of gigantothermy. But that’s far too advanced of a topic for this dumb podcast, so who knows?

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(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/583708801714650808/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simosuchus, an adorable little burrowing critter that despite its herbivory and cuddly appearance was actually an ancient crocodylomorph. I bet its death rolls would be so cute. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot notosuchian lived alongside some big frogs and mammals as well as dinosaurs in their Madagascar home, which sounds nice. I wager they all got along and there were no killings or predation at all. They just all snuggled each other. That’s my theory, I’ll publish a paper on it shortly.

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(image source: https://alphynix.tumblr.com)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Tenontosaurus, a poor schmuck of a dinosaur whose entire existence seems to be cannon fodder for packs of Deinonychus. Hence why I chose this picture for the episode image, because it’s funny seeing the tables turned. Mwuahahaha. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot basal ornithopod was also notable in having a really long tail, which really would have been useful in fighting off those Deinonychus I reckon. But hey, who am I to judge? It seemed to work out for them. Oh wait, they’re extinct, so I guess not.

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(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Anchisaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Anchisaurus, a long-necked lizard thing of a dinosaur that had far more interesting ancestors and even more interesting descendants. It really was ‘intermediate’ in how mid it was. Boo. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot basal sauropodomorph was the basis behind a familial vow to track the owner of its footprints, a task started by a paleontologist father but completely by his son. Who are these folks? Who cares, they spent their whole lives looking for freaking Anchisaurus.

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 (image source: https://pixels.com/featured/maiasaura-and-nest-phil-wilson.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Maiasaura, a real mommy of a dinosaur in that it was the first one with direct evidence of parental care. A real nurturer, Maiasaura. I could use that. No, I don’t have mommy issues. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot saurolophine hadrosaurid seemingly put leaves on its eggs and fed them with its beak when they hatched, which is nice. Again, I could use that. Imagine a hug from one of these. It sounds nice. Warm. Comforting. …yeah, maybe I do have mommy issues.

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(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simbakubwa)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simbakubwa, possibly the largest terrestrial mammalian predator of all time and the true holder of the title of Lion King. Naaaaaants ingonyamaaaa bagithiiiii baba sithi uhm ingonyamaaaa! Disney, making children scat faux Swahili since 1994. From the Early Miocene, this 10-foot hyaenodont had a slashing bite and could potentially bring down giant elephants and rhinos. The ultimate predator. The one true king. Until it went extinct and turned into grass for the antelope to eat, anyway.

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(image source: https://bit.ly/3T1rkyC)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Australopithecus, one of our definitive ancestors and the first to walk upright, which is kind of a big deal. I don’t think I could handle walking on my knuckles all day, so thank you, Australopithecus. From the Late Pliocene, this 4-foot-tall hominid ate fruit and meat and overall just kinda aped about. You ever watched the Planet of the Apes movies? Then you’ve seen Australopithecus. Please ignore the apes riding horses while wielding machine guns for the purpose of this comparison.

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(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Megalosaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Megalosaurus on this very special day, as exactly 200 years ago on this date Megalosaurus was officially the first described dinosaur, marking two centuries of dinosaur knowledge! Awesome! Oh yeah, the animal is cool too, whatever. From the Middle Jurassic, this 30-foot theropod used to have hundreds of different species in its genus before settling with Megalosaurus bucklandii, which is good. One is enough, I say. No need to hog all the species for yourself, you silly genus. Golly, this show is nonsense.

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(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basilosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Basilosaurus, a ginormous flesh-eating whale with a bulbous body and tiny back legs. Bet you didn’t know your mom was featured in this podcast, huh? From the Late Eocene, this 60-foot cetacean had a dinosaur-esque name due to its serpentine-esque body, which I think shouldn’t be allowed. Only dinosaurs should end in ‘saurus’ just as only mammals should end in ‘therium’! None of this Basilosaurus or Fulgurotherium nonsense, you hear?!

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(image source: https://metode.org/issues/monographs/the-dinosaurs-of-the-maestrat-basin.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Proa, a dinosaur who lived in Spain and is on display in a huge museum there called Dinopolis, a place I have promptly scheduled on my calendar to visit on a moments’ notice! Oh wait, plane tickets are expensive. Damn. From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot iguanodont was chosen by our production team by using a random dinosaur generator because there was no reason to cover this otherwise. Just kidding! We don’t have a production team. LIke we would have the budget here for that, please.

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