(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Rhizodus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Rhizodus, the largest ever freshwater fish that had so much rizz it lived for 30 million whole years. Rhizodus-dizz, thanks for all the rizz! From the Early Carboniferous, this 20-foot sarcopterygian was actually more closely related to us humans than other fish, although it wasn’t necessarily a direct ancestor, just related. I will personally leave no descendants, so the birthing line from LUCA to me ends with me. Four billion years, and it stops here. You’re welcome, Earth.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://makerworld.com/en/models/767570-shantungosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Shantungosaurus, a big big BIG duckbilled dinosaur, and in fact the biggest non-sauropod dinosaur ever! Then again, I’m the biggest guy named Matthew who’s written a book called Megazoic. Probably, anyways. From the Late Cretaceous, this 56-foot saurolophine hadrosaurid dealt with its own Chinese version of T. rex called Zhuchengtyrannus, making it a prequel of sorts to the T. rex and Edmontosaurus dynamic of North America. That’s what the best follow-up installments of classics do; take the original characters, and put them in Asia.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: http://bit.ly/4kjy8Dk)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Catactegenys, a type of night lizard, which is a group still alive today BUUUUT there’s a really big and exciting study about them involving the big meteor that killed the dinosaurs so it counts. I make the rules! From the Late Cretaceous to the Late Holocene (i.e., right now), this family of squamate reptiles might have been the only terrestrial vertebrates to survive in the vicinity of the Chicxulub impactor in Mexico. Like, right next to it, when everything else got vaporized. How did they do it?! Life is crazy, yo.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Shuvuuia-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jaymes Buckman and their boyfriend Toby discuss Shuvuuia, the tiny, quirky desert-dwelling dino-bird-thing that proves you don’t need claws, wings, or teeth to be iconic, just a good sense of direction and a thirst for termites. Yum. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot alvarezsaurid scurried through the Mongolian night with killer hearing and night vision like the prehistoric version of a goth owl. Meanwhile, I had to scurry through the editing process this week because life threw me a boss battle and I’m still waiting on my power-ups. So if you hear any swears without Velociraptor screeches to bleep them out, call it the director’s cut! But at least Paleo Bites’ perfect weekly release streak continues, because when everything else feels chaotic, dinosaurs are the constant. Even though they’re dead. At least the non-avian ones.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/gallimimus-paleoart-by-me--236087205460103553/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gallimimus, a classic dinosaur and pioneer of the visual effects industry… at least for us humans. I doubt it dabbled in any visual effects work itself. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithomimosaur had its big scene in Jurassic Park where it ran in glorious early 90s CGI and revolutionized filmmaking to the woes of anti-CGI film bros everywhere. Also the animal itself was pretty cool too. Sorry, I probably should mention that.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/676736281530757612/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Enhydriodon, a giant species of otter that you really otter avoid. That’s the kind of humor you should expect on this show. I truly can’t believe we’re nearing 300 episodes. From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot mustelid was believed to be mostly terrestrial but very comfortable in the water, akin to the tigers of today. So it’s an otter not in the water? What’s the otter with this thing? Again, let me reiterate: THREE. HUNDRED. EPISODES. Of this show. Or at least close to it, anyway.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/megantereon/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Megantereon, a fairly typical saber-toothed cat with one major claim to fame in that we have direct evidence of it hunting early humans, so any time you think there’s danger in the darkness, you can thank this guy for instilling that instinct into you. Thanks, Megantereon! I really appreciate running upstairs after turning off the basement lights so the Shadow Figure doesn’t get me; that’s peak childhood right there. From the Late Pliocene, this 6-foot machairodontid felid has a name that really isn’t indicative of its actual stature. This thing may be a slightly larger than normal cat, but “giant beast” it ain’t. Unless I also am a giant beast, which I suppose I am. I certainly eat like one, anyway.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Scleromochlus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Scleromochlus, a cute little dude with absolutely nothing remarkable about it on its own and is more interesting in what it evolved into; this guy was in fact an early ancestor of the pterosaurs! Celebrate, all ye boring people, in that eventually you might have more interesting descendents. From the Early Triassic, this 8-inch pterosauromorph archosaur had freakishly long legs and might have hopped all about like a demented frog. I dated someone with freakishly long legs who also hopped all around, it didn’t last long. Ugh, I swear, it’s only a matter of time before these descriptions will be written by ChatGPT.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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 (image source: https://medium.com/@smartap3s/luca-and-fuca-our-great-great-great-grandmas-7880b0950e53)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jennifer Grossman and Matt’s niece Logan (against his will) discuss FUCA, the original, original life before even LUCA was a thing, which I also covered with Jennifer about two hundred episodes earlier. From the Early Precambrian, this non-cellular entity was actually quite different from LUCA, in that while the latter had cells and enzymes and other biology that makes it more akin to a living organism, FUCA is just a glob of aimless amino acids. We really can’t go back much further than this on this show, which hey, thank God there’s a limit.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dromaeosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dromaeosaurus, the namesake of the dromaeosaur family that are more commonly known as “raptors.” Which means Velociraptor is more the namesake of the family, but I’m talking scientifically! “Uh, actually, they’re not raptors, they’re dromaeosaurs.” Gee, thanks, Kyle. From the Late Cretaceous, this 7-foot coelurosaurian theropod had a much stronger bite than Velociraptor by a factor of three and could theoretically take down even bigger prey solo than it too. Poor Dromaeosaurus, always upstaged by Velociraptor not because it was better, but because it had the movie deal. Your big break will come too someday, Dromey.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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