Paragon Marathon

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah straight from the theatre to talk Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey; The siblings cram into their wooden horse of a recording studio to share their thoughts on the newest version of Paragon Marathon's favourite mythical hero. Can the spectacle of practical effects transport a viewer into a raging storm on the wine-dark seas? Can Matt Damon give a performance powerful enough to bring the Trojan house down? Can Christopher Nolan's dialogue live up to the oldest and possibly greatest work of literature humanity has achieved? Probably not that last one, no, but tune in to find out!

It's the Paragon Marathon Millennium Melee! Prepare yourselves for a gauntlet of good movies, a crucible of critique, the finals of film-liking, the championship of changing your siblings minds! All in service of the definitive ranking of the best movies of the 2000s! You already know the rules, because there ArEn'T AnY! Except of course, that each sibling host brings their own curated selection of the best films of that bygone decade, and the Paragon Marathon cannot end until a top-ten for all-time has been decided! As if that wasn't thrilling enough, each Ippen can twice deploy a Secret Technique, which can permanently and without remorse ELIMINATE any movie from contention, in a ruthless Darwinian effort to forge the undisputed, undeniable, unequivocal list of the decade's best movies. Three podcasters enter, but only one spreadsheet leaves!

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah on a biblical New Jersey adventure in Dogma; This 1999 Jay and Silent Bob vehicle asks the big questions, like what would happen if the Catholic god was wrong about something even once? Or how does Kevin Smith get Alan Rickman, Selma Hayek, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck to be in his low budget movie about Gen X sensibilities and comic book hot-takes? Clearly this movie works in mysterious ways . Diversions include Jason Lee's most memorable delivery, timeless stoner comedy (bonnnnnnngggg) and the mystery of Choolie Bob.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they untangle the cable around our hearts in Ben Stiller’s cinematic directorial debut, “The Cable Guy” (1996), a thriller spoof that answers the question, “what if cable was obsessed with YOU?” Starring the completely comparable Mathew Broderick as the heartbroken boring leading man, befriended and tormented by Jim Carey in his most misunderstood role of Chip Douglas, the socially bereft but unstoppable man made of cable. This movie examines the death-grip cable had on our lives and personalities, the frailty of our surface level relationships, and how one man with no social cues can take the whole thing down by “killing the babysitter”. Contained within: A strong desire to visit Medieval Times, karaoke renditions of Jefferson Airplane, and asides aplenty. Cablo Goobla!

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they untangle the cable around our hearts in Ben Stiller’s cinematic directorial debut, “The Cable Guy” (1996), a thriller spoof that answers the question, “what if cable was obsessed with YOU?”. Staring the completely comparable Mathew Broderick as the heartbroken boring leading man, befriended then tormented by Jim Carey in his most misunderstood role of Chip Douglas, the socially bereft but unstoppable man made of cable. This movie examines the death-grip cable had on our lives and personalities, the frailty of our surface level relationships, and how one man with no social cues can take the whole system down by “killing the babysitter”. Contained within: a strong desire to visit Medieval Times, karaoke renditions of Jefferson Airplane, and asides on asides. Cablo Goobla!

MOVIE KNIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they sally forth unto the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS OF JOUSTING in the 2001 live-action sports anime, "A Knight's Tale," the pre-Game of Thrones medieval fantasy that taught us even the lowliest peasant can change his stars, ignore the oppression of a feudal caste system, and make their dad proud if they just believe hard enough. Like a collection of Pilgrim's tales, this movie is greater than the sum of it's parts; this anachronistic period piece uses modern music and The Big Game sports vibes to tap into the melodrama of a rags-to-riches underdog story. Heath Ledger and Paul Bettany give it their all, screaming their passion at you with such unironic intensity that you will be stomp-stomp-clap-ing in your seat like any medieval peasant all jacked up on Queen. Contained within: Chaucer's literary contributions, uncooked pasta lances, and Famous Dan, real-life best friend of British C-tier celebrity.

Movie Night! Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as they trek through the stars with the 1999 comedy space epic "Galaxy Quest"! Campy sci-fi tropes are ubiquitous enough that you can make a mainstream hit parodying them, right? If not, the outstanding character work of Alan Rickman, Sam Rockwell, and Tony Shalhoub is enough to rocket this movie into the stratosphere of middling family-friendly comedies that the Paragon Marathon loves to revisit. From dazzling 90's era CG space battles, big campy rubber suit alien costumes, to Sci-fi legend Sigourney Weaver, Galaxy Quest has it all! Even casting Tim Allen as the leading man miraculously doesn't ruin the film; in fact, making him play a washed up hack of an actor that no one likes is strangely cathartic! Contained within: Stellar screams, Star trek lore, and a healthy amount of Tim Allen grunts. 

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, & Sarah as they take you out to the ball game with the 1992 hit and enduring cult classic, "A League of Their Own." America's desperate nostalgia for the 40s and 50s is matched and perhaps exceeded by the Marathon's own nostalgia for this TBS-once-a-week banger, wherein the towering and beloved Geena Davis is paired up with "the other one" to explore women breaking into the baseball boys' club amid the backdrop of the second World War. Tom Hanks is also there to yell and pee and rule what is and is not allowed in baseball. Contained within: the brutality of slapstick that doesn't land, Loving Lovitz, and solving sexism forever.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan, & Sarah as they play that dangerous game from the depths of 1995, Jumanji! Where no boy is safe from getting bat-tornadoed into the jungle for 30 years, turned into a monkey, or bested by a pelican. In this adaption of Chris Van Allsburg's book of the same name, Robin Williams (playing Alan Parrish) shows us that not even jungle imprisonment can undo Dad-trauma, and ventures to help end the game with young Kirsten Dunst and Bradley Pierce before our beloved Jonathan Hyde as Van Pelt can hunt him down. Unpack the complexities of this poem-driven, snakes-and-ladders colonialism revenge story, and its impact on both small American towns and local footwear empires. Contained within: monkey fun, classic screams, time paradoxes, and copious child violence.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they scrub the Rust off the Root to "send you on your way" to a place where learning is magical, and where tyrannical parents, megalomaniacal principals, and regular cops always get what they deserve: suffering. That's right, we're watching the 1996 family film masterpiece, "Matilda!" Bringing vivid life to the Roald Dahl classic, Mara Wilson earns our enduring praise as an iconic magical child, burning a joyful streak through a depressingly-authentic world of anti-intellectualism and stifled childhoods. Danny DeVito directs and co-stars this tour-de-force alongside some all-timer performances from Rhea Perlman and Pam Ferris. Tune in for the play-by-play on why this might just be a literally perfect kids movie. Contained within: return of scream team, teachers are the real troops, Brucey: Hero of the People, and Trunchable's Lunchables.