You’ve made a few mistakes in your life, haven’t you?

No one gets through life without a few blunders. But I still run into many parents who don’t want their kids to mess up at all. They keep them from participating in any sports or activity… just so they won’t fall on their face. [[Or… mom and dad make every decision for their teen… so he doesn’t have a chance to choose poorly.]]

That, my friends… is a recipe for disaster!

It’s important for moms and dads to remember that just as we made poor decisions growing up, our kids will do the same. And when they do… give a big hug and remind your son or daughter how much you love them anyway!

Learning from our mistakes is the only path to becoming an independent adult.

 

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Student Story: Alyssa

Teens rail against rules because they feel like they’re being hemmed in. But you can reset that framework to show how boundaries keep destructive patterns out!

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston talks about the difference between rules and boundaries and shows how to make key changes to preserve balance with your teen.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

There’s a trend called, “performance- based parenting.”  It’s actually fairly common in homes across the country.  But basing relationships on performance isn’t healthy!

Performance- based parenting means that your child believes your love is conditional.  If they do something wrong… you won’t love them anymore.  If they do something right …they you’re your favor.

Now, as a mom or dad, you know that isn’t true.  However… we can easily communicate that way if we’re not careful.  If we over-emphasize academic or educational pursuits… participation in sports or religious activities… it looks like we’re demanding perfection.

Is that you?  Are you focused solely on performance… and don’t tolerate mistakes?  If so, you need to change up your approach …and make sure you teen knows of your unconditional love.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

One day your son or daughter will walk out the door… will find a job or go to college… and the true test of your parenting skills begins!

At that point, when your teen strikes out on their own, it won’t matter if his room is clean, or what music she listened to.  It won’t matter if he watched too much TV or if she didn’t study as much as she should.

What will matter is whether your child is still dependent on you to make it in life.  Has he developed skills to face the demands of adulthood?  Has your relationship equipped her to be independent?

Mom… Dad… start now.  [[Start preparing your child for the day they’ll walk out that door and out from under your care.]]  Foster independence now… so they’ll stand strong when they’re on their own!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

We live in a very me-focused culture.  But as a mom or dad… things ought to be different.

The Bible instructs every believer to consider others as more important than themselves.  In parenting… especially when it comes to solving problems or addressing struggles… it’s good to deal with your child as more important than yourself.

Keep in mind that discipline is for their benefit.  And parenting is all about training.

If you have your eyes on yourself all the time… or if you want your kids to be perfect because it makes you look good… it’s time to rethink things.

When was the last time you considered your teen as more important than yourself?

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Sometimes moms and dads come to me and complain of a radical change in their child.  It’s almost like a teen went to bed one night and woke up the next morning a different person.  Someone nobody liked!

Has it ever happened to you?  Your teen changed drastically in a relatively short time?  It’s in these cases that I encourage parents to look beneath the behavior issues.  Something else is going on… something you might know nothing about.

Do your parents know everything that happened in your life during your teen years?  Probably not.  Then, what makes you think you know everything that’s happening in your child’s life?

Stop and ask the hard questions.  Dig deeper in your teen’s life and experience… to understand what’s really going on.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Does your child understand that in life there are limits?  Does he or she respect you and your boundaries?

Knowing what you believe… and having a system in place for implementing healthy boundaries …is a key component to successful parenting.  It teaches your kids to respect your convictions… and helps them transition from the selfishness of pre-teen years… to the maturity of adulthood.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  But it’s amazing to me how many parents equate love with leniency.  Deep down, our kids crave direction and guidelines.

So start defining your boundaries.  Make distinctions between what’s off limits and what’s acceptable behavior.  Then… make sure you take time to intentionally communicate these convictions with your kids.

Healthy boundaries are vital in creating a home that fosters growth and respect.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: John

It’s hard when tensions mount in the home. But avoiding conflict might actually stifle something that God wants to work out in your family.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston shares healthy guidelines for pushing through conflict in order to build bridges—not walls—between you and your teen.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

C.S. Lewis once said, “Pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world.  I don’t doubt God’s ability to bless us.  I just wonder how painful it’s going to be.”

It’s amazing to me how pain brings certain blessings our way … some only seen in the rear view mirror with time and perspective.  My wife, for example, struggled through some agonizing circumstances in her childhood… but because of it, she is wise, compassionate and has tireless patience with struggling kids.

In my work with teens, I’m often reminded that God doesn’t waste pain.  He has a purpose for it.  And He promises to use every painful passage for His good.

As C.S. Lewis said, “Pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world.” 

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Sometimes it feels like nothing you do gets through to your kid.  Ever hit a wall like that?

A girl came to live at our residential counseling center in Texas… and she was as bad as it gets.  Seemed like nothing I did got through to this rebellious kid.

But during one of our intense conversations, I asked her, “What do you want from me?”  She responded… “Love me when I least deserve it, cuz that’s when I need it the most.”

Her answer stopped me dead in my tracks.  As I hugged her, I kept thinking… what she needs is grace!

So, when your son or daughter drives you crazy, remember to love them when they least deserve it … ‘cuz that’s when they need it most!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.